Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
2 fools. the gal, who is giving her body & youth away for room and board and the boys parents who are letting him get serviced in their home w/o any of the adult responsibilities that go with that service. women liberation types talk about body ownership alot but then they give away their body on the cheap and dont respect it.
Huckleberry this is exactly how we feel as well. See the issue here is that our daughter is doing exactly what this idiot wants her too. She is being used, and she thinks that is fine. As long as she can "live for the moment" and "you only live once". She has been using these as her motto. Clearly they are what he has put in her head. She is just not herself. We hope we can get her back, b/c she needs some serious counseling.
I have just found out some information that has shocked me and really made me look at her for who she really is. I am so hurt. She is not who I thought she was and now I do not think that I could ever let her back into my home. I will help her if she is in need, but I do not feel that we will ever be able to have a relationship like before. She cannot be trusted and I am so upset about it.
I suspected from your first post that drugs were involved.
The boyfriend is like the one who got her hooked and she "needs" him.
Once there are drugs, you really do need to realize any trusting relationship with her is out the door. And unfortunately she will have to hit bottom and probably many times if and when she starts the road to recovery and recoveries can be short in duration.
You can only change what you can change...... and all you can do now is find serenity.
sure the gal has her side to this story.... who knows what the parents may be doing to her that may be harmful........if you notice the poster said she does not want to call the police What responsible parent does not want to call the police when their daughter is missing???? Maybe one that is hiding something that they did to the child who ran away.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-14-2012 at 07:50 AM..
Reason: removed reference to deleted comment
sure the gal has her side to this story.... who knows what the parents may be doing to her that may be harmful........if you notice the poster said she does not want to call the parent does not want to call the police police What responsible when their daughter is missing???? Maybe one that is hiding something that they did to the child who ran away.
Please re-read the OP, her daughter is not missing , she is at her boyfriends , If she did call the cops ( no real reason to at this time ) they would do nothing , she is 18 yrs old . The only thing the daughter is guilty of is disrespecting he parents by the way she left.
I had a simular situation with my own daughter at age 14yrs , she kept running away to her 19 yrs old boy friend , the grand parents though it was ok ( she was just old for her age ), they supported her actions, I call the cops , they did nothing but warn her of the dangers of being out there alone at her age.
Eventually she filed charges against my for mental abuse ?
I had house rules she would not follow.
After she made statements to the Social Services counseler that she would not stay in the house, she was made a ward of the state .
She got her high school deploma , she went to school to be a hair dresser.
She eventually married the boy friend and go divorced 3 times , she is now in the process of ending her 4 marriage, ( husband of 10 yrs got drunk and tried to kill her, but she got away,) Thru contact with her brother all this time, (31yrs).
I got a phone call at 1:30 in the morning . Dad can you help me ?.
I told her that he door has always been open .
As the attage goes " you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink untill it gets ready to". I can tell you from my own personal experence it hard , it's tough love, but in the end , it's the only thing you can do, so as to not hurt your own relationship with your own wife.
Hang in there.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-14-2012 at 07:51 AM..
Reason: removed reference to deleted comment
similar situation with my son and in a way my daughter. point is you have to let them go and let them grow. and it may be soon for you but she has to make the decision.
Honestly ,I would look towards the relationship or the two.You seem as if you are intelligent and have some information regarding the incident.Girls are more easily mislead by boyfriends as boys to their girl friends.If the boy and his father have issues or friction between each other,It could be possible that the tension(experience) may be rubbing off to her.Hopefully ,your daughter thru patience and understanding (pertaining to the the four of you)will see what you want is the best for her.She too has to contribute to her well being and success even after she turns 18.Good Luck and consider all options of approach and be sure not to insult the relationship,his family,etc.If the boy is 21 and at home and seeking unemployment for living,let your daughter see this as it is.She will always be your daughter and hopefully back in our home soon.
2 fools. the gal, who is giving her body & youth away for room and board and the boys parents who are letting him get serviced in their home w/o any of the adult responsibilities that go with that service. women liberation types talk about body ownership alot but then they give away their body on the cheap and dont respect it.
Give me a break. A women enjoying sex does not mean she is cheap or doesn't respect herself.
call the police and list her as MIA....... maybe she is with a BF or GF ........ sometimes you have to let people that includes close family to fall hard before they learn lifes lessons
Huckleberry this is exactly how we feel as well. See the issue here is that our daughter is doing exactly what this idiot wants her too. She is being used, and she thinks that is fine. As long as she can "live for the moment" and "you only live once". She has been using these as her motto. Clearly they are what he has put in her head. She is just not herself. We hope we can get her back, b/c she needs some serious counseling.
Counseling is a waste, even if you can manage to drag the kid to it. And, who is going to pay for it? I got so sick of dragging my kids to counseling, only to be told what I was "doing wrong" but never told what to "do right". The counselor "sides" with the kid, not matter what. We feel that counseling is what broke our family down, and we were left holding the broken pieces, with no idea how to put them together.
Besides, like I said, who pays for this counseling? If you have insurance, you could keep her on it, at your expense, and pay the co-pays, etc. But why should you? Let her fall back on Medicaid, or whatever.
Some mother-daughter relationships simply fizzle out, and you can't do anything about it. My dd15, said to me a few months ago "do you realize when I turn 18 I can walk out that door and there's nothing you can do about it?" To which I replied "Do you realize when you turn 18 I can lock that door behind you and there's nothing YOU can do about it?" Oh, she looked somewhat surprised at that. I'm just glad we did NOT take out a specified college fund for either kid, but rather just put money aside. This way, we can use the money for ourselves if needed.
I've had both kids tell me they'd rather live anywhere, foster care, even jail, than live with me. Ok, so.....go! YOu can't drag them back, don't worry the remaining good years of your life trying to coax them back to a place they threw away. I, too, feel like some trash that was throun out!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What responsible parent does not want to call the police when their daughter is missing???? Maybe one that is hiding something that they did to the child who ran away. 
Give me a break. A women enjoying sex does not mean she is cheap or doesn't respect herself.