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Old 09-18-2009, 01:41 PM
 
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DFOR, why can't you see the future? Plenty of people don't have kids or don't have close relationships with their adult kids and they have good lives. The unconditional love from a young child is dependence. I don't know that it is best to put one's own happiness on their kids at any age. To the child, having parents do that is a lot of pressure, as well as guilt-inducing.
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Old 09-18-2009, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davachka View Post
My teenager shows me unconditional love....in fact I would say the older she gets the closer we become. This is because she can have intelligent conversations and we can form bonds beyond just the young child and mother bond. I have been known to fly off the handle a bit too easily and she forgives me instantly....in fact I have told her that I could learn a thing or two about forgiveness from her, the child!
Is perhaps a "bond" what the OP meant? As far as the actual meaning of love, I don't think love is something a child can really comprehend. Showing affection is something kids learn from us, and possibly what love feels like when mommy hugs them and says "I love you". As far a learning what true honesty and caring is, my kids show me every day.
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Old 09-18-2009, 06:11 PM
 
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I have to agree - parenting is not for the faint of heart. You do not truly appreciate your parents and their struggles (and all parents struggle) until you become a parent. Being a parent is awful, its hard work, its thankless and it is the greatest joy I have ever known.
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Old 09-18-2009, 06:56 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 3,071,661 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
My son has never shown me unconditional love; actually he's quite the opposite. He loves me when I'm bearing sweets, toys and Disney tickets; he hates me when I'm sending him to bed, brushing his hair, washing his face, making him eat veggies

I was gonna say... Kinda like good cop/bad cop. Children do NOT unconditionally love you. What everyone else has said about the stages is about right. They love you when you have good things, are having good times, sweets, parties, roller skating, ect. When you are making them clean their rooms they do NOT show affection. When you tell them they cannot go out on a date tomorrow night because they are mouthing off and haven't completed their chores in a week or their homework in a week.. they don't either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
I get more unconditional love from my two dogs than I do my teenage son!
Ditto.

I love my children beyond life. I would die for them or kill to defend them if the case required. I honestly don't know if I could say they feel the same way. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my dog does though.
There are MANY worse things in life than not having children. I know it isn't necessarily what you wanted to hear, but it is my opinion that not everyone should have children. Parenting isn't for everyone..some days from hour to hour I wonder HOW IN THE WORLD did I get into this?? But I wouldn't trade it for the world either.
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Old 09-18-2009, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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My kids are older teens...I agree with what people have said about the unconditional love flowing from parent to child and it's sometimes painful and heartbreaking like nothing you've ever experienced. If you are thinking of having a child so that you can experience RECEIVING unconditional love - please don't. I have no doubt my kids love me and they know I always love them....it's the LIKING that's sometimes the hard part - for all of us! Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done - and the best....
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Old 09-20-2009, 03:40 AM
 
Location: New England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
DFOR, why can't you see the future? Plenty of people don't have kids or don't have close relationships with their adult kids and they have good lives. The unconditional love from a young child is dependence. I don't know that it is best to put one's own happiness on their kids at any age. To the child, having parents do that is a lot of pressure, as well as guilt-inducing.
Thanks all for explaining. "Bond" is probably the term I should have used, like floridadreamer said.

I didn't realize that the unconditional part is generally from the parent to the child.

Can't see the future, so not sure if I would be a great parent or not. Pretty sure that I would be. Love spending time with family and don't have a lot of friends or enough other hobbies. And I do realize that raising kids is just about the hardest job in the world, a huge responsibility. And also the most rewarding.

I kind of wish I was up to that responsibility, but I'm not. The bond, especially in the beginning, must be unbelievable.
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Old 09-21-2009, 06:42 PM
 
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Unconditional Love? ha ha....More like never ending self absorbtion, and complete selfishness. And it never stops! Then, they turn 18, the kid you gave up EVERYTHING for, lived with a jerk, on and on...they are like, "See ya"" and they NEVER call you. Except for money.

If you want unconditional love, get a dog or cat.

Last edited by kek1993; 09-21-2009 at 08:00 PM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 09-21-2009, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,483,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
Thanks all for explaining. "Bond" is probably the term I should have used, like floridadreamer said.

I didn't realize that the unconditional part is generally from the parent to the child.

Can't see the future, so not sure if I would be a great parent or not. Pretty sure that I would be. Love spending time with family and don't have a lot of friends or enough other hobbies. And I do realize that raising kids is just about the hardest job in the world, a huge responsibility. And also the most rewarding.

I kind of wish I was up to that responsibility, but I'm not. The bond, especially in the beginning, must be unbelievable.

I think once kids get older there is often unconditional love - when they are little though, a lot of it is dependence and they just assume that you are there (which of course you are). And of course there are times when they really think they HATE you - especially when they are teens.... but it's not like it ONLY flows one way forever....it just takes a lot to get there and there is no guarantee....

As far as the bond being "unbelievable" in the beginning? Everyone is different of course but I have found the bond to be stronger as they've aged - they have become people who I enjoy being around....that is a great feeling....
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