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I know that others have said this already, but I'd like to reiterate that is seems that this is a case of your daughter being manipulated by the older girl, rather than a reflection of her sexuality. I would try to focus your concerns on the former rather than the latter. Overall, good luck...best of wishes.
I know that others have said this already, but I'd like to reiterate that is seems that this is a case of your daughter being manipulated by the older girl, rather than a reflection of her sexuality.
I think the change in personality, the sullen manner, the knives show there was something very bad in that relationship. Kids being abused will become depressed.
Of course, there's no way to 100% absolutely know, but considering what the OP described was happening, and the fact that her daughter is TWELVE, I would think that it's more just an abusive situation overall rather than the girl absolutely thinking she's a lesbian and doing it due to that (not that there's anything wrong with her being that).
I think the change in personality, the sullen manner, the knives show there was something very bad in that relationship. Kids being abused will become depressed.
Gay and lesbian kids who've absorbed too much of a homophobic culture will also become depressed.
I think the OP ought to talk to a counselor from PFLAG or someone who specializes in gay and lesbian youth.
I admit, the knives thing freaks me out, but having a slightly older girlfriend in and of itself does not.
do you know of any adult lesbians that can be your daughter's "big sister"?
at that young age, it seems like she was attracted to who was giving her attention. sadly, the person who was giving her attention wasn't very healthy. try to provide her with a healthy person to give her the attention and hopefully she will gravitate towards that. (i was suggesting a lesbian so that not only would your daughter not think you were anti-lesbian, but also so she would feel understood)
she needs counseling both by herself and with the whole family unit-----experimenting with the same sex at 12 does NOT make one a lesbian----she still needs to mature to finalize her sexual orientation----btw--12 yr olds CAN be the victim of sexual/emotional abuse by a 14 yr old---this happens more often than adults realize-----especially among severly emotionally disturbed adolescents--(YRS.OF EXPERIENCE WORKING IN THE FIELD)
Gay and lesbian kids who've absorbed too much of a homophobic culture will also become depressed.
I think the OP ought to talk to a counselor from PFLAG or someone who specializes in gay and lesbian youth.
I admit, the knives thing freaks me out, but having a slightly older girlfriend in and of itself does not.
I just wanted to say to you, djacques, that if the reason you questioned my assumption on the OP's kid not being gay because it seemed like I was trying to say that it was bad for her to be gay, it wasn't that at all--and I understand if you were trying to defend that for the sake of LGBT causes.
I just wanted to say to you, djacques, that if the reason you questioned my assumption on the OP's kid not being gay because it seemed like I was trying to say that it was bad for her to be gay, it wasn't that at all--and I understand if you were trying to defend that for the sake of LGBT causes.
I just wanted to make sure I was 100% clear.
You were clear, I wasn't suggesting you were homophobic, just that reaction to a homophobic culture could be a more salient cause of depression than the relationship being abusive. Maybe it is abusive, but without further details it's dangerous to assume that it is. Abuse can damage lives, and so can labelling things abuse that actually aren't. See this site for many examples.
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