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In my opinion, yes, you are trying to twist things. If you don't like the rules, then be the adult you claim to be and get out. Find out what it is really like to have some responsibility for yourself, let alone for another human being. Do you think it's possible that someone twenty-plus years older than you might actually know a few things that you don't?
I really wasn't trying to twist it or be brat or anything.
I was really curious.
Maybe your not trying to...but how it comes across is..."well, what if...and then what if and what about....THEN do the parent STILL get to make the rules????" In a word, yes. Anytime you are beholden to someone else, they have a say, whether you like it or not. "Kept" women live life according to the rules of their "sugar daddy"....now with parents, some parent's may choose to not impose their rules on their children but if they are footing the bill, then they have every right to insist upon some expectations that go along with it. Don't like it? ? Fine. Good for you. Be independent and you no longer have to live according to someone else's rules....
I know how it works.
I still do plan on taking that semester off instead of spending anywhere from $300-$800 on classes. I NEED to put that towards academy. I will work over that time and over the summer and I need a lot of time to get into shape.
I'm doing something productive, not lounging around the house and I will be doing whats necessary to help me succeed and reach my goals in life. If she has a problem with it, I don't know what to tell her, I know she won't kick me out but there will just be a lot of yelling all the time.
*buys sound eliminating headphones*
hehe
I really wasn't trying to twist it or be brat or anything.
I was really curious.
Sorry.
I really have no rules to hate anyways.
After rereading my post, I realize that it sounds much more harsh than I meant it. For that, I apologize. I still stand by my point, however.
I am a father to two children whom I love indescribably. My daughter is age 10, not yet dating age, although I do already have boys knocking at the door. I would not ban her from seeing someone unless I felt very strongly that there was good reason to do so. I was eighteen once, sometime shortly before you were born. I remember it pretty well. That alone gives me good reason to suspect the motives of any eighteen year old male out there.
For a young girl to go hanging around a young single guys apartment just has great potential for things to go very wrong. It wouldn't be you I didn't trust, but him. One too many drinks and now you are in a situation that is well beyond your control, and what reason would I have to think this young guy would do the right thing? None. And every reason to believe he would do the wrong thing. And the consequences of that would be with you the rest of your life, whether it was rape or pregnancy, or both. He would be off relatively scot-free, unless I was able to get ahold of him. You would be the one left carrying the burden. Heaven help us if such a thing should end up posted all over the internet, as well.
So perhaps you can see that it isn't out of meanness or power-tripping that such rules are set. It's out of genuine concern for your well being. The problem is, at twenty years old, most young adults don't know as much as they think they do. They just aren't yet able to see the whole picture.
I don't think she is power-tripping.
I think she is just so used to the way things have been and is VERY slowly learning to let go.
Even when I do move out. I will still be yelled at. She will always be calling always want me to call her. She will try to place rules upon me. Yell, belittle, guilt-trip me into doing what she wants.
I don't want to cut her off but I will be going to police academy in a year, not only will I get grief for being a woman but if she still had control over me....I would not be respected one ounce.
You obviously still don't "get it" to get respect you have to respect those around you. Your mom is supporting you right now and you are living in her house. You are still young and immature enough to mock and want to disrespect her rules despite all that she is providing. You speak of no one at the police academy respecting you but that is months away and you don't even know if you're in. Respect your mom and her rules - you want to take a break, then move out, support yourself and take a break. Until then live by her rules. THAT is being an adult deserving of respect.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. I don't support guilt-tripping and belittling. Just please try to remember she may not know any other way to express her feelings. Also remember that at least you know she cares. I haven't spoken to my father in about a year. It's a long story, but in the 10 years since my first child was born, he has called maybe three times. Thinking that they don't care is as bad as thinking they care too much or in the wrong way.
I wish you the best of luck in the police academy. It's a hard row to hoe.
Now I'm 22 but seriously wasn't 18 a bit old for a father to be overprotected of his daugher when it comes to guys and dating? Needless to say I still went to that guy's house at that age against his consentment. That was the first time ever I had done on a date with a guy and first time being to a guy's house as well. Now he changed as he ain't like that no more (well on a wayyy much lesser level) but common sense, that's called development.
Lastly I wonder if fathers are just like that to girls. See I got a brother who's only 7 at this moment. It's unlikely he will be banned from going to a girl's house when he's under age 20, 18-19 that is.
Guess it's the fact I'll always be his ''little girl'' when it comes to men but I'm clearly not anymore..... Already got a boyfriend....
Dear, boyfriends are as easy to "get" as colds. I wouldn't be too proud of that accomplishment if I were you.
As for the OP. If you are living in your father's house - eating his food and enjoying the fruits of his labor, then yes, you should respect and honor his wishes if he *forbids* your involvement with any particular lad. Most likely he has "been there and done that" and seen the kind of person that boy is. If you do not agree with your father's assessment, being 18, one has the legal right to go out and get a job and support themselves and see whomever they want to see. Those are the choices. IMHO
Trespass orders have no limit or end until the person that took it out stops it.
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