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Once my grandmother told my mother (her daughter-in-law) "If I had my way I wouldn't have any of them" referring to all 3 of her children. And it's no coincidence all three of her children turned out to be insensitive and very unhappy people who were critical all their lives. they never knew any other way. They were all super intelligent but their people skills were sorely lacking.
Once my grandmother told my mother (her daughter-in-law) "If I had my way I wouldn't have any of them" referring to all 3 of her children. And it's no coincidence all three of her children turned out to be insensitive and very unhappy people who were critical all their lives. they never knew any other way. They were all super intelligent but their people skills were sorely lacking.
I believe most parents in the past were very frustrated. They didn't really want kids but felt compelled to have them. That produced many unhappy people.
I believe most parents in the past were very frustrated. They didn't really want kids but felt compelled to have them. That produced many unhappy people.
Unfortunately there are still many people who feel compelled or shamed into having children. I always raise my children to believe they can have full and meaningful lives without getting married or having children. Recently my 30 year old daughter who has been living with her SO for almost 5 years announced they don't think they will ever marry and she sees no reason to have kids. I was the complete opposite-at least about kids by the time I was 30 but I'm happy she felt comfortable enough to tell me. Her brother on the other hand is 32 and feeling like he wants to get married and start a family before too much longer. Fortunately men usually can wait for many more years than women.
Every one of my four grown kids is a blessing and so are my seven (so far) grandkids! Can't imagine life without any of them. Three of the four kids were planned by me - but four were planned by a Power beyond me - and that Power was absolutely right! I am grateful every single day for my kids.
I don't find anything wrong with this question. People believe that women are somehow naturally incline to love kids and there's some kind of miraculous bonding that happens afterward. Neither is true. I know people who gave up their children. My cousin gave her child away to the grandmother when the child was three. She couldn't deal with him and didn't want to bear the burden and responsibility. I didn't find anything wrong with her decision. I had a friend who mother gave the sister and brother away when the girl was 9 and the boy was 11. She just didn't want to deal with the responsibility and burden.
People may view doing such as evil, but I have witness a lot of neglect, abuse, and recount cases of murder. I even witness woman fall into depression simply because they had the burden of being a mother.
I always said that a person need a special spirit to be a parent. A lot of mothers who don't work and can afford it get nannies simply because they don't want to do the job of being a mother. If they don't get a nanny they will put the child in school all day to keep the child out of their jurisdiction.
My wife and I waited until our late 30's to have kids so we could get ourselves sorted out individually in terms of our careers and relationship, and to get a solid foundation financially. We have absolutely no regrets about having kids or doing it in the way we did. We struggle a bit with balancing work with raising a kid, but we've always been juggling work and family commitments/social life/time together/etc.
I've been pretty surprised at how much having kids has given me a new perspective on how much we're taught as humans, how much is inherited, and just the general process of a kid becoming a part of the larger world. Seeing a person mature from an infant to an engaged kid definitely has given me a different perspective on everyday life. I'm sure that will just continue as time goes by.
My husband and I were told that we were not likely to ever have children. I was upset at first and we tried anyway after we were married for a year or so. Some where along the way I became used to the idea of never having children and we enjoyed our life the way it was. After being married for about 4 years my husband convinced me to move 1200 miles from home in Maine to TN. We bought a used tag along camper and packed our stuff and 2 cats in and had my dad haul it down. We sold or got rid of everything we had that didn't fit and just took off to start a new life with no jobs or connections in TN. It was an adventure for sure. I found a good job after 2 days and hubby did odd jobs and worked the flea market by us. We had a great time and thought we would stay forever. Then I had a health concern and when I went to the doctor and they did a blood test they told me I was pregnant! Shocked, I called my parents who were vacationing in TN already and asked if they would take us home. After a complicated pregnancy that I was not prepared for and an emergency c section I was equally unprepared for we had a 3lb. 6 oz baby girl in the NICU. It has been a very hard 2 years since then and it has been filled with dr appointments, physical therapy and such but I am so very thankful for her. Every day she amazes me with how smart and loving she is. She makes progress so fast and will catch up soon to her peers. I was a selfish and somewhat impatient person before but I feel that she is helping me see that and it makes me try so hard to be better. I never cried much before I had her but now I am so full of feelings for her that some stories or pictures make me cry all the time when I put myself in other parent's places. Sorry this was so long but I can't stop feeling that my daughter is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. <3
I don't regret having my son. If it ever crosses my mind, it's only because it's a cruel world out there and I don't want anyone else to face it. Now that he's here, I can only teach him not to be like the rest of the cruel world. My son is the love of my life. After going through so many abusive men in my life, my son is an angel to me. At only 4, he's very loving and sweet. He longs for a sibling, but I'm too afraid to have another due to security and health reasons.
If you can get the kids do mind you and be respectful then im sure having kids is great. However kids like what my wife has from a previous marriage that blow off the parents, refuse to do anything except what they want to do, and scream "dont tell me what to do!" make a person who's thinking about parenthood decide adamantly against it.
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