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He is old enough to manage his lunch account. The fact that he overspends and buys inappropriate food items with it is his problem and not yours. I would sit down with him and reiterate to him that there is enough money for 5 lunches and 5 drinks. How he chooses to spend it is his choice.
And 5 breakfasts!
And for those of you that state they can eat alot. OMG! You are so right. I never forget that I bought one of those bubba 9 pack of frozen hamburgers. He ate 6 in one night after a huge dinner!!!!!! I had to hide the rest in another freezer.
I give my 15 yo boy enough $$ in his account to buy lunch with a little extra everyday. He passed out one time at school from "saving" his $$ by skipping lunch. We have a deal now. I will pay for lunch, he will use it for lunch only, if not he will pack his lunch everyday. I make him keep granola/cereal/energy bars in his backpack for the days he is starving. The boy can eat. and eat. and eat. But I am not going to give him 5.00 a day for food.... heck, I MAKE my own money and don't spend that much on my own lunch.
No, you are not being unfair or unreasonable. You are teaching him to budget and financial cause/effect. He is complaining because he is a teenager and that is what they do.
Stop putting money in his account, pack him a lunch containing 2 peanut butter sandwiches, a bottle of water, a thermos with milk in it, an apple & some carrots sticks. If he doesn't eat/take it, then it's his problem. Put signs up around your house (you can easily print them out on your computer) that say things like "Tired of your parents making all the rules? Leave home and support yourself while you still know everything". Include a link at the bottom of the page for a website giving instructions on how to emancipate himself in your state.
You are NOT his servant, you are his parent. He should be respectful and THANKFUL for what you do for him. If you are not convinced of that, then neither will he be. If you believe that he is entitled to more than you can provide, then he will believe that too!
We give him a small allowance for toward his things that he likes such as his axe sprays, special "body wash" etc.
We are having difficulty keeping him on track for his grades and he isn't allowed to get a job till he can consistently keep his grades up. He gotten so used to floating by on his test scores where he came from and passing. Where now he is in a new state and the schools don't allow that. He has to do homework and this is a constant struggle. But that is a whole other issue.
He's probably old enough. That said, I'd probably give him some additional money. (My own son died in a car wreck at age 16 and so I tend to have a soft spot for teen-age boys.)
One time (probably about 2 months prior to his death) my son came home about 9 pm and wanted me to fix him a sandwich or something to eat. I told him I was tired (I work full-time) and that he could fix himself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich (which he liked.) He said he was too tired to make it himself and went on in his room. Well, sucker that I am, I fixed the sandwich and took it in to him. He just grinned when he saw it coming in. Spoiling him? Maybe, but you know what? In retrospect, I'm glad I fixed that sandwich.
Last edited by kaykay; 10-09-2009 at 01:34 PM..
Reason: add "sandwich story"
You are doing right by him to expect him to learn to manage his own money. He will need to learn this and the earlier the better. Teens will always want more - it's just their nature. If he can't get a job (for whatever reason), if you were inclined to offer him more, I'd offer him opportunities instead to earn it by doing extra chores. Sounds like he is going through a lot of adjustments right now - be firm but loving. Good luck to both of you.
He's probably old enough. That said, I'd probably give him some additional money. (My own son died in a car wreck at age 16 and so I tend to have a soft spot for teen-age boys.)
One time (probably about 2 months prior to his death) my son came home about 9 pm and wanted me to fix him a sandwich or something to eat. I told him I was tired (I work full-time) and that he could fix himself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich (which he liked.) He said he was too tired to make it himself and went on in his room. Well, sucker that I am, I fixed the sandwich and took it in to him. He just grinned when he saw it coming in. Spoiling him? Maybe, but you know what? In retrospect, I'm glad I fixed that sandwich.
First I am so sorry for your loss. That is a horrendous way to lose someone let alone your son. My neighbor had that same tragedy a few years ago and I remember the horror I felt for them.
Now at home we do spoil him. But at school we are treating this as the rest of his life and he needs to learn. Now if I was just giving him one meal a day, that's different. But he is getting quite a bit weekly that should be ample....
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(My own son died in a car wreck at age 16 and so I tend to have a soft spot for teen-age boys.)
I fixed the sandwich and took it in to him. He just grinned when he saw it coming in. Spoiling him?
Maybe, but you know what? In retrospect, I'm glad I fixed that sandwich.
