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She screwed up. I'm sure she has thought about that once or twice the past 10 years...
Again, sitting there & saying it would never happen in your house b/c you are involved is a mute point.
None of us are better than her.
It's a learning lesson and judging her based on how you are/were a super involved parent does nothing but allow you to stand on a pedestal.
I can only hope what I am doing will teach my boys the right ways in life. I can only hope & my dh & I work very, very hard at it. But we can't guarantee.
Learning versuses judging.
I agree. We all have our "woulda, coulda, shoulda" moments in our life. Sounds like Dylan's mother suffers every day of her life for hers.
A few years ago there was a suicide of a HS senior in a town near me (he did not harm anyone else). The parents and teachers and entire community were shocked -- kid was a good student, an athlete, seemed to have a great future.
His closest friend said "you know how you hate your hair, or your nose, or something else about yourself? He (the boy) hated absolutely everything about himself." He presented a totally different face to most of the world, except for the few friends in whom he confided.
It would be nice to think that clues are always there, but they aren't.
Kids are very seldom an open book, there are always parts of themselves they keep hidden from others, especially their parents.
How many people here believe their own parents knew everything they were up to when they were teens? Who can honestly say they had no secrets at all?
Kids are very seldom an open book, there are always parts of themselves they keep hidden from others, especially their parents.
How many people here believe their own parents knew everything they were up to when they were teens? Who can honestly say they had no secrets at all?
Heck, I'm 51 and still keeping some things from my mother!
...learning from it means understanding what this poor woman did wrong. They had weapons everywhere, evidently. They listened to music that glorified violence...
I think you're getting Dylan Klebold mixed up with Eric Harris. Harris's father was the one with the guns in their home. Harris was labeled a psychopath, although I'm not sure how that can be determined of a barely 18-year-old--and definitely the more disturbed of the two. And I don't think listening to music that glorifies violence is necessarily a sign that a teenage boy is mentally disturbed.
I remember Columbine so clearly because our oldest was in high school at the time and this scared the heck out of every parent of a high schooler. But reading the essay--which is not posted on this thread--made me realize just how much may be out of our reach as parents. My heart goes out to this mother; I cannot imagine how difficult each day must be for her.
And I don't think listening to music that glorifies violence is necessarily a sign that a teenage boy is mentally disturbed.
I really have to agree with this statement.
There is a lot of music out there that glorifies a lot of things good/bad - doesn't mean that everyone who listens to certain types of music goes out and does something horrific.
There is a LOT of music out there parent would be mortified I'm sure if they knew their kids were listening to it.....much of rap/hip hop is just as bad as Marilyn Manson.
I think you're getting Dylan Klebold mixed up with Eric Harris. Harris's father was the one with the guns in their home. Harris was labeled a psychopath, although I'm not sure how that can be determined of a barely 18-year-old--and definitely the more disturbed of the two. And I don't think listening to music that glorifies violence is necessarily a sign that a teenage boy is mentally disturbed.
I remember Columbine so clearly because our oldest was in high school at the time and this scared the heck out of every parent of a high schooler. But reading the essay--which is not posted on this thread--made me realize just how much may be out of our reach as parents. My heart goes out to this mother; I cannot imagine how difficult each day must be for her.
You're right about Klebold Harris. At the same time, I totally disagree about the desensitizing effects of music. It's kind of like watching some teenager playing Grand Theft Auto. There's nothing harmless about it.
But getting back to Klebold's mother. You cannot tell me that they didn't notice that Harris was a wacko, and take steps to prevent the friendship, rather than blithely wave while the kid drove over to the Harris's to hang out.
But getting back to Klebold's mother. You cannot tell me that they didn't notice that Harris was a wacko, and take steps to prevent the friendship, rather than blithely wave while the kid drove over to the Harris's to hang out.
Do you know her personally? Have you meet with her & chatted about what it feels like to know your child shot other children & himself and that years later, people would sit there who have never been in such a position and point the blame?
"blithely wave" ?
Really, these comments about the mom do nothing other than show that you think you have made better choices than her in regards to parenting skills. Clap clap clap. Go to the front of the line.
We have the right to judge her b/c why?
Do you think calling her out & calling Harris "wacko" makes the parents of the slain children feel all warm & fuzzy inside?
You can only HOPE you are doing the best for your child. The first to so quickly judge is usually the first to fall off the high horse.
I feel sorry for Dylan's mother. I'm sure it wasn't her intention to raise someone who eventually placed no value on human life, who caused so much pain and agony for so many people. It's all tragic, for everyone involved. I just hope, that somewhere along the line we can learn from her mistakes - if she could tell us the signs she missed, what she would have done differently... something. I don't know if there were any clues she missed or if she was just "clueless" - but in any case, she lost a child too - even if the child ended up being a mass killer. I imagine that, for her, she still has a mother's unconditional love for her son that she lost and for that I empathize with her. They say, that a loss of child is something that a mother never gets over and that probably pertains to her too.
In the first detailed public remarks by any parent of the two Columbine killers, Dylan Klebold's mother says she had no idea her son was suicidal until she read his journals after the 1999 high school massacre.
Susan Klebold's essay in next month's issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, says she is still struggling to make sense of what happened when her son and Eric Harris killed 12 students and a teacher in the shooting rampage at Columbine High School in suburban Denver. Twenty-one people were injured before Klebold and Harris killed themselves.
I would say that he was a little more than suicidal...
I have compassion for her as a Mom, her loss and what she has to deal with for the rest of her life... I don't even want to imagine.
But I cannot fathom how she could not have seen something wrong, and if she truly did not, it means that she was not doing her job as a parent...
I think that is the lesson here for other parents; that we always need to pay attention, monitor, ask questions, find out where they are hanging out and with whom, visit friends of our kids' homes, limit television, and computer usage... talk to our kids--have actual conversations with them.
It's hard work, or maybe not so hard for some, but it needs to be done, always.
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