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We had our spring garbage clean up on the weekend. My son who will be turning 15 in June and his 2 friends called me to the front door. They all looked so excited and anxious. My son opened the box at his feet and there were 100 playboy and penthouse magazines.
I am having a dilemma here. I know in the past my son has been given or bought a page of porno from kids at school. Some of it was really gross (it's shocking what kids are downloading off the internet) so I always took them and threw them away. I know his hormones have kicked in so do boys need visual stimulation since they have not actually had sex yet and wouldn't be able to day dream about it? He has also been dating the same girl for over a year. There has been no sex as of yet and I am crossing my fingers that it won't happen.
Will letting him keep a few of the magazines help to keep him from his girlfriend in that way? Will it help for him to stop obtaining vile pornography from school? I have no idea what his hormones are doing to his body and mind right now but would it be right to take all visual stimulants away from him? His friend also want a share of the magazines but there is no way in the world I am going to make that decision for other peoples kids. The boys were swearing up and down that their dads would let them have them so I said "yes, but what about your mom?". No answer to that question!
The other part is I want my son to always feel as safe and open as he feels with me now. I know we don't keep secrets and would like to keep it that way. Would taking all of them away break that trust he had when he brought the box to me? They could have hid it in the woods around here. I haven't told my husband about the box yet....maybe scared he will want to keep it??
Oh my, I fear I am only a few years away from this dilema myself and am anxious to hear the replies. I don't know what I would do but I do know if I had to choose such material then Playboy would be the least offensive to let him have. But I have no idea what you should do. Good luck though.
i say burn them, letting him view those mags is only going to make him want sex even more...personally i view porn as defiling women...just my personal view...
People, underestimate what visual stimulation does to a person and it will definatley increase his sex drive! I would tell him some things a better left to the imagination and he really doesn't want to have flash backs to all the gross pictures he viewed as a teen when he is trying to be intimate with his wife later in life.
No, I'm serious. I have never experienced being a boy let alone raising a teen boy so I was honestly surprised to learn that! I will definitely check out your link.
Thanks!
After mulling it over a bit & side-stepping morality issues, my answer is in the form of a question - isn't it illegal to purchase these magazines under age 18, or is it 21? If he opened up a box of cigs or a bottle of alcohol, which also aren't legal until 18 or 21, the answer would be a strong "NO!" Why would it be different with any illegal material?
In this litigious society, can you imagine if he brings it into school, church or a friends home to show friends & is caught? The question those in authority will ask is "Your son said you've allowed him to have pornographic material, which is illegal at his age. Why?" Parents have been arrested for having alcohol parties for their underaged kids. Would they do that with this? I don't know, but why risk it? What if his friends gather in his room & the "porn party" rumors arise! Don't forget, you said he had several friends as witnesses. Kids blab. Someone along the line will find out that "Hey, Andy's mom lets him keep porn! She's so cool!"
Yeesh! What a calamity this could create for you. If you feel the need to be progressive in view, tell him you'll keep it in the garage/attic until he's 18/21 & then he can decide. Until then, you must decide as his parent. Otherwise, the recycle bin is a good option.
As with anything, I would think you want to examine the effects of any influence on your son. Just the fact that pornography degrades women would make me throw it out, but look at the this website to find out more alarming effects of porn: http://www.forerunner.com/forerunner...Pornograp.html
I can understand why you want to keep that close relationship you have with your son, but whose interest is that best for? Yours or his?
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