Has anyone moved out of NYC into other areas (upstate, LI,out of state)BECAUSE they had children? Why?Do you regret it? (baby, activities)

[Mr.Momof3]

I live in NY but of course even if you live in other similar city and moved b/c of children I'd appreciate your input as to why and how it worked out as well as if you have regrets. Thank you.

[hml1976]

We left NYC (and moved to Tennessee and eventually out to Portland, OR) when we decided to start a family. We were sick of being poor and wanted our kids to go to good schools and have a big yard to run around in. I don't regret it for a second, having NY work experience has paid off well for my husband and he got to keep his salary level. We went from 600 square feet to 3000, our kids go to good schools and life is just easier. Worst part...no good food delivery

[nuala]

I started having kids in a rural area, in one of the small hamlets strung by the ocean. (After living all my life in metro cities). The closest city of 300,000 people is 1.5 hours away. We go there often (on business) but I can't even get my head around as to how my kids would live day in and out amongst asphalt and concrete instead of the grass, trees, chickens, cats, the garden where they pick up healthy (no pesticides) carrots, cucumbers and peas all day long. The live fauna that they see, not in the zoo but in their backyard (deer, porcupine, foxes, owl, bald eagles, beavers, ducks). Their elementary school has all of 90 students and everyone knows each other.

The life is cheaper in the rural area -- what would be a laughable high-school graduate salary in the city can carry a family here.

Hope also that Obama's universal health care plan will go through so you would not worry about health insurance while moving or changing jobs - just like us.

[icibiu]

I grew up in one of the outer boro's and once I had a child I high tailed it out of there! It was fun growing up there and I had a grand old time in my early twenties, but the childhood "fun" I had there is not the kind of fun I want my children to have. I'm still paying the price for transportation and places to go being all too accessible while I was supposed to be in school

Also having gone to NYC public schools, dealing with the over crowding, lack of resources and supplies and voilence in the upper grades I didn't want my children to have that kind of education. I did one year of high school out in Suffolk County and it was like night and day! Smaller classes, better teachers, nicer facilities, students were actualy there to learn and the resources & tools available to the teachers were much better.

The hustle and bustle I loved in my youth seemed loud and dirty once I had a baby to care for. The huge (by NY standards) three bedroom apartment I loved became small and cramped once we had all that STUFF that kids require.

We moved to NJ when my son was 1, and I will never go back! Like a true NYer I didn't know how to drive so that was a bit of an adjustment when we got here plus we had some family here but not the huge network of friends we had amassed from growing up in an area. We've made a couple of new friends here and have formed stronger bonds with our family which is nice. The atmosphere here is much nicer for children and families and there are so many more activities for us to do as a family. It's also much safer and we were able to get a much bigger place with an actual backyard. When we first moved we lived in a town very close to the Lincoln Tunnel and our commute to the city was actually shorter than before (and much more pleasant, no more sweaty people rubbing up next to you on the subway!) Now we've been here for a couple years and are moving further away from the city to get even more space and a quieter VERY family oriented community. Sure NJ is expensive compared to the rest of the country but if your used to NYC prices it's actually a little cheaper and the quailty of life is much better! When we feel like a night on the town we go out to Hoboken and if we really want to we go to Manhattan but rarely WANT to deal with that mess. We lost touch with a lot of "friends" but our real friends we still see from time to time either we go out to see them and they come out to see us.

I love Long Island too but I find the prices to be higher than Jersey for comparable towns and in my opion the LIRR is not as good as the Jersey Transit system and driving is out of the question.

If you're thinking about moving I'd say go for it!! There are a lot of great places in the metro area to raise a family where you can still work in NYC and stay close to your friends and family.

[lisdol]

Originally Posted by Mr.Momof3

I live in NY but of course even if you live in other similar city and moved b/c of children I'd appreciate your input as to why and how it worked out as well as if you have regrets. Thank you.

I did not move from a big city because of kids but I did grow up in one and am now raising kids in a suburban/rural setting.

I lived in Manhattan from age 8 to 14. Our apartment was fairly large compared with many NY apartments, but it was still an apt, on the 15th floor. If my brother and I wanted to go out and play, our mom could walk us to the neighborhood playground, in the shadow of the Queensborough Bridge, and if I remember correctly, it was 100% asphalt - no grass.

I remember roller skating up and down the sidewalk in front of our building. And long walks from York Ave all the way over to Central Park (as a kid it felt like a long walk) to go to the carousel, have a picnic, etc....

My kids were running in the house today and rough housing, and I sent them outside to play. I thought about how that was a much more difficult option for my mom when my brother and I were kids.

The upsides - I grew up going to Broadway shows, going to the Met and the Whitney. It was an exciting place to live. The upper east side (where I lived) and the upper west side and the Village (where we spent some leisure time) had interesting things to offer. There were street fairs and funnel cakes. I went to a good school. I got to go horsebackriding in Central Park. Another upside - salt bagels with cream cheese from Barney Greengrass(we called it Moe's). And, as an adult, I got the jokes in Seinfeld that might have been lost on non-NYers (like if there is a parade and you need to get to the other side of the street you are screwed - like Elaine and the Puerto Rican Day parade) - obviously this is not worth anything but I sometimes watch reruns and wonder if people fully get some of the "only in NY" stuff. I'd say another upside was diversity, but I lived on the Upper East Side, and how diverse is that, right?

Raising a child in NYC and having those kinds of experiences is very expensive. Is it worth it? I don't know.

Weighing all of those memories, I am happy to raise my kids in a non-urban environment. They will have a very different childhood from me, but I don't think it will be worse off for missing out on some of the things I got to experience.