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Should sexual education be taught in school?
Let's just be honest, a whole lot of parents are really shy, reluctant, modest, ignorant or what ever you want to call it when it comes to telling their kids about sex they are not having it. It's just such a taboo subject. I do know why, but don't feel like getting into that right now. In fact, someone please go tell your kid right now, especially preteen & up about SEX, the unadulterated version. Tell them that a male puts his penus in a females vagina and starts the sexual act, and tell them that it only takes a needle point amount of the sperm solution to impregnant her egg (you'll have to explain more, the egg, ovaries, fallopian tube).
Tell them that sex is apart of human physical contact (your dad & I did it together)
Tell them that the sexual act does not have to last long to impregnate
Tell them that the male does not have to have an orgasim for the egg to get impregnated, if a sperm reaches the egg
Tell them when a male gets turned on his penus hardens and becomes erect, straight and at this point he really, really, wants to have sex (a.k.a go up into something).
Tell them that a white solution will start coming out of the man's penus
Tell them about the female's orogenous zone "the G spot", when a male or other touches this area you are really going to get turned on and be more likely to engage in sex.
I don't mean anyharm, I used to work at an alternative school for pregnant teens and it just frustrated me when so many of the girls said "I just didn't know anything", "my mom never talked on that subject". One girl said "we really didn't do it all the way", and she was surprised that she became pregnant, "I know he did not put it in all the way"
I've heard the following statement from parents so many times that it makes me "dizzy", I'm thinking not that air brain statement again here it is: IF MY CHILD TELLS ME THAT SHE WANTS TO GET ON THE PILL, I'LL TAKE HER TO GET SOME.
Think about it, it's not easy to tell your mom "hey, mom, I know I'm 14, but I want to start having sex, can we go get me some birth control pills?"
What are you guys thoughts on this issue?
Well I was surprised with my 6 year old asked me how babies are born. This just happened the other day. I said, "what do you know about that?" She said, that "the dad fertilizes an egg like a chicken", but she seemed confused at that statement. I told her she's right, but then she said, "HOW does he fertilize it?" At that point I got a little nervous and just said "oh honey, it's kind of complicated, you will learn about all that when you're older."
With that being said, I always thought I'd be the parent who was so kosher about talking about sex, I'm not so sure, it's a scary topic for parents. My mom told me nothing and I swore I'll never be like that, but it is hard. I absolutely think that sex ed should be taught in school. I hope that when my kids are a little older I'll get over my embarrassment. But in the meantime, I know they have sex ed in 5th grade around here, although I'm not sure how in depth they go.
I would like for my daughter to be able to make an informed decision when the time comes, so I am all for sex ed. There is a LOT of misinformtion out there that kids pick up from other kids, the internet, etc. I think everyone should have accurate facts. I teach biology, so I don't think I will have a hard time explaining things to her.
I'm with Eresh. And I would like to add that while we do need to keep telling kids it can cause unwanted pregnancy, we need to start showing them pictures of all the very ugly things that can happen as well, like herpes, genital warts, etc... Babies are adorable - some girls want babies. I don't think anyone wants a nasty painful std and maybe a little more emphasis on that will help kids think about choices and protection, and how much protection each method of birth control confers, and how much risk each type of sexual activity has.
I think it is fine for schools to tackle the scientific part of human reproduction. That would include the biology of sexual intercourse, methods of preventing pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and other topics that are scientific in nature. I think kids need to learn information about their bodies and how they work to prepare them for the future.
I don't think schools should touch on the morality of sex though. That is something that belongs to the families.
I don't think schools should touch on the morality of sex though. That is something that belongs to the families.
I absolutely agree with this.
Some parents feel that a school teaching the facts equates to them telling the kids to run out and have sex. I disagree with this. I think that if parents do a good job teaching their children their moral values, then learning facts is not going to make the child depart from those values.
I wonder why we wait until kids are 11 years old to be talking about sex. If we have been honestly answering the questions along the way, it will not be uncomfortable to talk to your child and they will not feel uncomfortable talking to you about their questions. Sex is natural, they see animals doing it all the time on TV (along with pregnancy and birth). You don't have to be explicit about it. DD saw a commercial about a dad afraid to talk to his daughter and she did not understand why.
Lets face it, kids are starting puberty much earlier, which means their hormones...and curiosity....are starting much earlier. As we side step the issue, our kid will try to find other ways to get the answer. I know people who have started having consentual sex at the age of 8. They started puberty around that time and no one talked to them about those feelings so they never knew what to do or not to do with them.
DD has always asked questions. When she was 3, nearly 4, I had my last one and she had asked how the baby came out. It was uncomfortable for me to answer the question in detail but she was not at all uncomfortable, just curious. I felt fortunate she did not ask how they got in there, though after seeing enough Animal Planet, Discovery, and Science Channel shows, she wanted to know how people mate not much later. I told her. Among our conversations, she has learned the terms up to and including rape. I think sometimes, "She is just too young," even though she is already starting puberty. But then I think back to my childhood and I knew what rape was long before I knew the term for it and it was not because of comfortable honest conversations with a loving and caring mom. But when I thought the moment that I let it out of my mouth, she'd suddenly turn 18 and move out, she was still my little girl, chasing her brothers through the yard with the water hose a few minutes later.
It did not make her grow up an faster. It made her aware and she knows more of the "why" when we talk about bad/safe touch. She also knows what STD's and how pregnancy happens and she knows she knows that not having sex is the only 100% way to keep from contracting these.
She is way better equipped than I was at her age. And when she gets her period and has to go buy her first bra and razors, she'll let ME know when she's ready and I'll be left with whispering polite reminders, "Sweetheart, I think you need deoderant."
The school I primarly went to had sex ed divided up between 5 and 6th grades but in a more southern state, the kids developed earlier so they had it all in the 5th grade. I know too many girls who are or have starting in 2 and 3rd grade. It is such an abuse to leave them confused and guessing at the changes happening to their bodies.
When me and my eventual wife decided to start dating, we went and stood before her mother and said, "She needs to be on the pill. We don't want any accidents."
My daughter, age 7, knows the physiology of reproduction. We're building up to sexuality. IMO, sexuality is a far different and more difficult topic than the nuts and bolts.
Also, while I decry how many parents are grossly irresponsible about sexual eduction, I stand firmly on the ground that it is a parent's right, not the state's. Instead of trying to cover for bad parenting yet again, take measures to encourage parents to take that educational step for their children.
I wonder why we wait until kids are 11 years old to be talking about sex. If we have been honestly answering the questions along the way, it will not be uncomfortable to talk to your child and they will not feel uncomfortable talking to you about their questions. Sex is natural, they see animals doing it all the time on TV (along with pregnancy and birth). You don't have to be explicit about it. DD saw a commercial about a dad afraid to talk to his daughter and she did not understand why.
Lets face it, kids are starting puberty much earlier, which means their hormones...and curiosity....are starting much earlier. As we side step the issue, our kid will try to find other ways to get the answer. I know people who have started having consentual sex at the age of 8. They started puberty around that time and no one talked to them about those feelings so they never knew what to do or not to do with them.
DD has always asked questions. When she was 3, nearly 4, I had my last one and she had asked how the baby came out. It was uncomfortable for me to answer the question in detail but she was not at all uncomfortable, just curious. I felt fortunate she did not ask how they got in there, though after seeing enough Animal Planet, Discovery, and Science Channel shows, she wanted to know how people mate not much later. I told her. Among our conversations, she has learned the terms up to and including rape. I think sometimes, "She is just too young," even though she is already starting puberty. But then I think back to my childhood and I knew what rape was long before I knew the term for it and it was not because of comfortable honest conversations with a loving and caring mom. But when I thought the moment that I let it out of my mouth, she'd suddenly turn 18 and move out, she was still my little girl, chasing her brothers through the yard with the water hose a few minutes later.
It did not make her grow up an faster. It made her aware and she knows more of the "why" when we talk about bad/safe touch. She also knows what STD's and how pregnancy happens and she knows she knows that not having sex is the only 100% way to keep from contracting these.
She is way better equipped than I was at her age. And when she gets her period and has to go buy her first bra and razors, she'll let ME know when she's ready and I'll be left with whispering polite reminders, "Sweetheart, I think you need deoderant."
The school I primarly went to had sex ed divided up between 5 and 6th grades but in a more southern state, the kids developed earlier so they had it all in the 5th grade. I know too many girls who are or have starting in 2 and 3rd grade. It is such an abuse to leave them confused and guessing at the changes happening to their bodies.
"It is such abuse to leave them confused and guessing at the changes that are happening to their bodies" that point makes me think of my own childhood (I'm a female), my mom did not even tell me that I was going to start menstrating one day, at age 11, I was shocked at this revelation. Why couldn't she have told me "one day you are going to experience a change like myself and all of the ladies in the world have experienced. It is so sad, my mom did not even tell me that this will come again the next month, I probably thought that the first time was going to be the only time, no one told me anything different so I did not know to be aware when it came again. My mother yelled at me "you know that you were going to have it again this month and from now on", but at 11, I did not know this. As far as my mom, she was very neglected by her mom and therefore was probably just to unknowledgable on a lot of things.
Here's the question I have....
With so much sex education and free birth control resources, why is teen pregnancy more of an epidemic now than ever before?
I think if I had to do it all over again, when my daughter was 12/13...I would have taken her down to the WIC office, Food Stamps office, Child Support office....so she could see the end result BEFORE she got pregnant and had to live through it. Now she has just turned 20 and has a 2 year old. What a tough way to start out your life. Somehow these young girls just aren't getting a full realistic picture of the end result. This isn't a baby doll that turns them into adults, it is a human being that they are responsible for...for the next 18+ years.
Hope that helps as you make plans on how to approach the subject as your daughters reach puberty.
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