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Are you saying that your son's high school had some teachers who did not provide any contact information and the school or school district did not offer a regular "parent teacher conference" night? Wow. I guess we are lucky. Now, I have heard that there are teachers at my son's school that are....less responsive but I have not run into them. I understand that some parents might find conferences as they currently exist a waste if their students are succeeding. I personally find it useful to touch base even so....and I agree that if my child was not doing well I'd be finding out what the issue was BUT - I can't picture a public school deciding to just do away with them.....
The school had "regular" conference nights, but they were well attended, so you would be lucky to get five minutes of the teacher's time. Little or nothing was accomplished...if you could wait long enough to see them. Often as not, before you'd seen two or three teachers, an announcement over the PA system would tell us that the conference evening was over and that we should leave the building...thank you.
By going to the school office I did find out that the email address of any teacher was LastName, FirstName, @ SchoolAddress. I was quite shocked when I did not receive a reply to email, voicemail. Very bad form. I gave all of them my email address and cell phone number.
The teenage was in trouble in senior HS; I was over there all of the time. He decided to stop trying and I was determined to to drag him (screaming) through the system because I knew that he would not want to do it a second time. Overall, I was disappointed with my experience at that school. Four teachers (2 JR and 2 SR HS) and one woman in guidance renewed my faith in humanity. They were the best. They were concerned, saw that my son had potential but was going through a difficult time, told me when he was falling behind. I was very thankful for the few who cared.
Quick question... by what you've said, I'm assuming that this parent-teacher conference thing is something for EVERY parent of every student you have? Like, it's an open-forum type thing you've done where parents and come and see how they're kid is doing? The only thing that I'd think is that, if someone's kid is doing good/well/passable, they probably don't wish to take the time out of their (probably busy) evenings to come by and hear that. If the kid is doing poorly, well, then the parent might just be the type that doesn't care.
I honestly don't know, but that's just a guess I have.
You know, I don't have kids, but thinking back to when I was in school, I don't think my parents would have wanted to attend something like that, honestly. AND they're both in education (father is a vice principal, mother is a speech pathologist). Granted, I was always a pretty good student... but if were to show something like that to my parents they would have asked "is there a reason we need to go?" and when I said "no," they would have tossed it.
At the high school level our school has Meet the Teacher night where you follow your kid's schedule and spend 10 minutes in each class. The teachers have no idea who the parents are sitting before them as the kids aren't invited. The teachers give a little speech. The parents sign in, so the teachers can look back and see which kids had parents there. I like going because I like putting a face with a name. But it's not Meet the Parents night, so the teachers don't meet individual parents. It's also all done in English would excludes 20% of the parents, so they aren't there.
The conference with the counselor is just assigned to you and you can either show up if you can get there or you're SOL if you can't be there at your one assigned time. Talk about a hoop to jump through!
I have friends - affluent, involved parents of good involved kids - and they do not attend conferences at the high school level. It's pointless when the teachers have 180-200 kids each. Do the teachers even learn their kids' names? My son says his teachers don't even know who he is. What's the point of a one-on-one conference? The grades are online.
When my son was in private school through 8th grade and the teachers had far fewer students each, the conferences were really productive.
We had parent/teacher conferences last week and every single teacher our kids have, we have 3 in high school, knew exactly who our children were as soon as we said our last name when we introduced ourselves.
We go to conferences every time they have them. Our high school conferences have a 90% attendance rate-it is PACKED. Yes, you only have a few minutes with each teacher but that is plenty of time to get the general idea of how they are doing--all their grades are online, etc. so we know anyway. We go mainly to meet the teachers. For us they are somewhat of a waste of time, we hear the same thing all the time, they are doing great, great kids, etc. but it is nice to get that positive feedback.
We also have an open house the week before schools starts where you go through your child's schedule and meet the teachers. I would say that well over 90% of the freshman parents attend this since they are new to high school but by the time you get to senior year, maybe 4 parents will be in each classroom. By then they know the routine, etc. Usually those 4 parents have a freshman too .
I have one in highschool and I'm not sure if they even have conferences, if they did I probably wouldn't attend anyway. I think by highschool she doesn't need me standing over her shoulder making sure she is doing what she is supposed to be doing. I think by highschool, she should be responsible enough to do what she needs to do, and I think if she is doing poorly my attending one conference isn't going to change that. The school sends out progress reports mid-marking period and if the grades are poor then we know there is a problem and it can be addressed instead of waiting until the middle of the year for a conference. Although if she is needing help she comes to us before the progress report comes out.
My DS is in middle school and they still have conferences, I haven't decided whether or not we will attend because he is doing well and waiting around for 60 to 90 mins for the teachers to tell me that seems like a waste of time.
In elementary school I attended every conference for both of them and I will for the next two that will be going to elementary school. In elementary school it seems like there is more to the conferences than the older grades and much more information is given.
Well, HighlandsGal, I would come see you at your conference. I am glad to hear you know your students' names. I really don't know if my son's teachers know his name. He says they don't. I know none of them showed up to our IEP meeting last month. At Meet the Teacher night none of the parents were asked to introduce themselves so I couldn't tell if they knew my son or not at that time.
These mass conference days are a waste of time at the elementary level and I think that by the time kids get to high school most parents just dismiss them as unimportant. That is why our school does not do them. If we need a conference we ask for one. If the parents need one they can ask for one.
I disagree 100% that anything having to do with my child's education is a "waste of time." I volunteer in my daughter's class once a week and am very active on the PTO but still find that I hear things from her teacher at her parent/teacher conferences that I wouldn't have known. As a matter of a fact, this morning was the 1st parent/teacher conference of the year (there are 2) for 1st grade and I had no idea my daughter is clueless when it comes to patterns. She is reading, understands math, writing fairly coherently, but when it was time to make a pattern, she drew a nice picture, but there was nothing whatsoever resembling a pattern. She filled in the boxes, but no repetition. How would I know that? Patterns aren't something we do at home just randomly. Last year in Kindergarten, I was told she didn't understand rhyming. Again, a good student, but when had no clue when looking at words which ones rhymed. So...for a few weeks, instead of just reading books, we really focused on the end of the sentences that rhymed. She gets it now.
To the poster...I'm sorry that your student's parents seem disinterested. I am still surprised by those who treat school like daycare and drop their kids off without papers signed, coats, lunch money, etc. Unfortunately, many of those kids ARE going to fall through the cracks and the ones who are doing well in school are probably doing so DESPITE their parents lack of involvement. I don't think you are a babysitter. You need to schedule the conferences, notify parents with 1 or 2 e-mails and then just hope that some take an interest. There's not excuse for parents who don't have a clue who their kids teachers are. I know it's harder as the kids get older because it seems like they don't need as much school supervision. The only thing you can do is try and work with the kids who seem to be failing and hope their parents give a darn.
I have one in highschool and I'm not sure if they even have conferences, if they did I probably wouldn't attend anyway. I think by highschool she doesn't need me standing over her shoulder making sure she is doing what she is supposed to be doing. I think by highschool, she should be responsible enough to do what she needs to do, and I think if she is doing poorly my attending one conference isn't going to change that.
My DS is in middle school and they still have conferences, I haven't decided whether or not we will attend because he is doing well and waiting around for 60 to 90 mins for the teachers to tell me that seems like a waste of time.
I think you are giving your high schooler too much credit. Imagine how many parents would be shocked to know their kid was failing because every time they asked their child, "do you have homework" or "how was school" they answered in the typical one-word teenager way..."no", "fine". That doesn't mean you have to "hover" over your child every night but perhaps reading their reports or asking to see their homework once in a while wouldn't hurt. Teenagers are not adults and there are plenty of kids who do very well in school until they hook up with the wrong crowd and no one is more shocked than the parents when their seemingly perfect child gets pregnant or doesn't graduate from high school. It happens all of the time.
Perhaps I am more sensitive since I live in Denver and it wasn't long ago when the shootings at Columbine happened. There's one of the killer's moms talking about how she had "no clue" that her son was so angry or that he was starting to fail school. The area near Columbine High School is very nice. It's definitely an upper-middle class neighborhood filled with soccer moms and minivans. The mom said on Oprah that she wished she would have paid more attention to what her son was doing in school.
Parents and teachers need to work together and I know there are lots of teachers who don't necessarily pay close attention to your kid. However, one may just notice one day that your child was skipping class or smoking in the bathroom and would mention it to you. You have to hope that as a parent, your kid is doing what they say they are doing, but if they're not, that you have someone at your child's school who will take notice.
I disagree 100% that anything having to do with my child's education is a "waste of time." I volunteer in my daughter's class once a week and am very active on the PTO but still find that I hear things from her teacher at her parent/teacher conferences that I wouldn't have known. As a matter of a fact, this morning was the 1st parent/teacher conference of the year (there are 2) for 1st grade and I had no idea my daughter is clueless when it comes to patterns. She is reading, understands math, writing fairly coherently, but when it was time to make a pattern, she drew a nice picture, but there was nothing whatsoever resembling a pattern. She filled in the boxes, but no repetition. How would I know that? Patterns aren't something we do at home just randomly. Last year in Kindergarten, I was told she didn't understand rhyming. Again, a good student, but when had no clue when looking at words which ones rhymed. So...for a few weeks, instead of just reading books, we really focused on the end of the sentences that rhymed. She gets it now.
I think you missed that Momma Bear was commnenting on MASS conference days, not individual parent/teacher conferences.
I disagree 100% that anything having to do with my child's education is a "waste of time." I volunteer in my daughter's class once a week and am very active on the PTO but still find that I hear things from her teacher at her parent/teacher conferences that I wouldn't have known. As a matter of a fact, this morning was the 1st parent/teacher conference of the year (there are 2) for 1st grade and I had no idea my daughter is clueless when it comes to patterns. She is reading, understands math, writing fairly coherently, but when it was time to make a pattern, she drew a nice picture, but there was nothing whatsoever resembling a pattern. She filled in the boxes, but no repetition. How would I know that? Patterns aren't something we do at home just randomly. Last year in Kindergarten, I was told she didn't understand rhyming. Again, a good student, but when had no clue when looking at words which ones rhymed. So...for a few weeks, instead of just reading books, we really focused on the end of the sentences that rhymed. She gets it now.
Parent teacher conferences are vastly different from elementary to the time they get to high school. We went to every conference when our son was in elementary and middle. Then, individual times were scheduled (at least in elementary). We usually spent a good 15 or more minutes with the teacher. I did that even though I was volunteering in the classroom 2 days a week and knew what was going on.
I know many schools - ours included - not only posts grades and assignments, missing assignments, etc., but also attendance. I can find out instantly if my son were tardy, absent, etc. and I also get an automated call. Found that out when we got one for an unexcused absence in one block. He had no clue - said he was there and I emailed the teacher who said that he was there, just forgot to sign in when they all went to the library. It would be hard for my son to get by with much - and he knows that.
You can be a very plugged in parent with your kids teachers in a lot of other ways. For those who go and don't mind what it involves in high school, that's great! I think any parent who's child is failing should either go or make sure they are emailing the teacher. That would be "in the perfect world" which unfortunately, it is not.
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