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I am just curious if I am being over sensitive and up tight or what here. I know a girl that is only eleven years old so I am clearly old enough to be her mom but I have no children and she is a sweet fun little girl along with a FB friend of mine. This is my concern that she posts things like she likes drunk parties and I don't know if she knows what she is talking about or what. She also sends out virtual drinks which I sort of think isn't quite right but still not really what an eleven year old should be doing. This is especially troubling since I know her mother has had or still has some issues with substance abuse although I really have no idea how much. There is really nothing I can do but would this concern anybody else or what???
Yes it would definitely concern me!!! Do you think approaching her mother would accomplish anything? Something really should be done, 11 is much too young to be advertising underage drinking...
I am just curious if I am being over sensitive and up tight or what here. I know a girl that is only eleven years old so I am clearly old enough to be her mom but I have no children and she is a sweet fun little girl along with a FB friend of mine. This is my concern that she posts things like she likes drunk parties and I don't know if she knows what she is talking about or what. She also sends out virtual drinks which I sort of think isn't quite right but still not really what an eleven year old should be doing. This is especially troubling since I know her mother has had or still has some issues with substance abuse although I really have no idea how much. There is really nothing I can do but would this concern anybody else or what???
It depends on how close you are to her - you could start out commenting that you like virtual drinks a lot more than real drinks because they don't mess up your mind. Or if you know her well enough have a conversation with her about drinking and what she really thinks about it. Or if you know her mother and family well enough talk to them about your concerns.
Facebook has a "no under 13's" policy I thought?
I'd be concerned whether she is making it up (wanting to fit in too badly) or whether it is true. I do think talking to her parents would be a good idea.
My son is almost 11 years old. He also has a facebook account. However, my husband and I monitor his activity, and remove any thing we deem inappropriate.
The stuff your 11 year old friend is doing on facebook is inappropriate. You need to let her mom know and or "ignore" any requests she sends you. Remember, you are the adult. Be wary of anything you engage with a MINOR that you know/feel is not right....
As with most teens, kids often respond better to their friends. Start sending out anti, but not over the top, stories like, "OMG! Look at this story about this teen who did XYZ!" or little seemingly innocent blogs or whatever you can do to reach out. She'll notice that.
As with most teens, kids often respond better to their friends. Start sending out anti, but not over the top, stories like, "OMG! Look at this story about this teen who did XYZ!" or little seemingly innocent blogs or whatever you can do to reach out. She'll notice that.
My feeling is that an 11 year old doing things like this who has a mother with substance abuse issues may be trying to get a response, not exactly a cry for help but maybe a cry for more information or cry for assistance and guidance on this issue.
If the mother drinks to excess, the little girl might be trying to find out what normal really is. She may need some kind of support system -- like Al-anon for kids if there is such a thing to work out her feelings.
Often children of alcoholics don't become alcoholics but they have a parent they love but whose behavior disgusts or disturbs them.
11 is not too young to have a drinking problem or substance abuse issue. You need to not assume she is discussing a "want to", but might be discussing a "have done". Especially with a parent with a substance use issue, this needs to be looked into. I wouldn't consider the parent who obviously is not monitoring the duaghter's online activities to be reliable to monitor her real time activities. If there is a grandparent you know, or school personnel you could contact, I would go that route. Barring that, I would contact child services. This needs to be handled by a professional or a responsible family adult. Childhood alcohol or other substance use/abuse is a serious problem.
If you know her then definitely check it out. But the amount of BS on MySpace and Facebook is rediculous. Kids create alter egos online, fantasy stuff. The trouble is that because there is so much you sometimes miss the real thing. And when the fantasy is unhealthy (like bragging on drinking, drugs, sex, etc.) it can become reality soon enough.
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and I don't know if she knows what she is talking about or what. She also sends out virtual drinks which I sort of think isn't quite right but still not really what an eleven year old should be doing. This is especially troubling since I know her mother has had or still has some issues with substance abuse although I really have no idea how much. There is really nothing I can do but would this concern anybody else or what???
