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Old 11-09-2009, 11:33 AM
 
821 posts, read 2,033,438 times
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I think the fact that your son is 17 is a little diffrent and I would allow it but if he was younger i wouldnt personally allow it... and if so I would totally do it as SKP440 did it... I just cant imagine giving my 11 year old a laptop why on earth does an 11 year old need one... I didnt have one and I lived I think parents are too caught up with keeping up with the Jones or thinking wow we are best friends and I know everything... I love my daughter and we do share everything... (that is everything she wants me to know)... I was a young girl and had/have a wonderful relationship with my mother but when it came down to certain things I didnt tell my mother 100% of the truth for various reasons... getting in trouble or the major one out of embarrasement... and I know my daughter will be the same besides I already have a title it called being a mother and its to protect my kids for the dangers or the internet and if not dangers..then spoiling and giving my kids exactly what they want when they want it.. and if not that for then for them to be focused on school or playing not stuck on some laptop all day and night long... I just think that kids grow up really fast and we as parents help it along... Like 10 year old with myspace.. and a 6 year old with a cell phone and an 11 year with a laptop... too much too soon!!!
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:46 AM
 
8,652 posts, read 17,200,671 times
Reputation: 4622
Quote:
Originally Posted by osuzana View Post
The reason I am asking is because I am not sure what the right thing to do is. I feel a certain level of trust needs to be there but at the same time I want to be sure he isn't spending more time than he should on other things besides school work. Maybe it's giving up control that is also an issue for me. I offered to put our computer in his room but he really would like a laptop which 99% of his friends have. The computer is only a few feet from my bed so I can see whatever he is doing, but he has the same resources using his IPod so what is the big deal? P.S. He is not allowed to be in his room with his gf but out in our living room. Let me add that he will be getting his drivers license in a few months and already has his own car. We have a very small place so there is no other area to put a computer.
If he is a good kid he wont be doing anything he should not be doing on the computer...You said he is 17..

I was in the United States Army at the age of 17...
He's a young man.....Unless he has given you a reason not to, have faith in him...and trust him.

I bought my son his first computer and hooked him up to AOL when he was 15 and he turned out ok...He's 30 now, married, has a kid of his own,went to college....owns his own business working with computers...

The darn old computer didn't mess him up...LOL

Last edited by Houston3; 11-09-2009 at 11:55 AM..
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:53 AM
 
8,652 posts, read 17,200,671 times
Reputation: 4622
Quote:
Originally Posted by JC JC Mom View Post
I think the fact that your son is 17 is a little diffrent and I would allow it but if he was younger i wouldnt personally allow it... and if so I would totally do it as SKP440 did it... I just cant imagine giving my 11 year old a laptop why on earth does an 11 year old need one... I didnt have one and I lived I think parents are too caught up with keeping up with the Jones or thinking wow we are best friends and I know everything... I love my daughter and we do share everything... (that is everything she wants me to know)... I was a young girl and had/have a wonderful relationship with my mother but when it came down to certain things I didnt tell my mother 100% of the truth for various reasons... getting in trouble or the major one out of embarrasement... and I know my daughter will be the same besides I already have a title it called being a mother and its to protect my kids for the dangers or the internet and if not dangers..then spoiling and giving my kids exactly what they want when they want it.. and if not that for then for them to be focused on school or playing not stuck on some laptop all day and night long... I just think that kids grow up really fast and we as parents help it along... Like 10 year old with myspace.. and a 6 year old with a cell phone and an 11 year with a laptop... too much too soon!!!
My 11 year old granddaughter has her own cell phone, her 7 year old sister and 9 year old brother surfs the web...Yes we keep an eye on where they go on the web..NO CHAT ROOMS....

Computers are their tools of today just like mine were a hammer and saw in my day.
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:15 PM
 
1,049 posts, read 3,001,645 times
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17, can afford his own laptop and you're seriously here asking us if you should let him have one? I think that that age not only should he have one(if not just for school!), but if he can buy it himself it should be his and you should have absolutely zero control over it whatsoever. None of this crap others are saying about you being able to check his stuff, spy on his computer and have free reign over it.

Like someone else said, you can enlist in the army at 17. You can go see R movies without an adult and buy adult video games at the stores.. Essentially at 17 he is an adult. You need to cut the cord sometime.
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:27 PM
 
897 posts, read 2,449,654 times
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17 and he doesn't have a computer- My 17 year old got her laptop in 9th grade and my son will be getting his this Xmas- I prefer for them to have their own. Get him the computer and lossen up a little- he will be in college soon
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,220 posts, read 84,127,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by osuzana View Post
First time poster here so I am not sure if this has been asked yet, but my almost 17 year old son is tired of having to use the only family computer which is in our bedroom. Too many distractions with my husband talking, set on, dog barking....he has the money to buy his own laptop, has a girlfriend, trying hard at school (a junior) and would really like some privacy so what do I do?
Is your son responsible? Then, why not? My daughter bought her own laptop at 16 with money she earned working. She took good care of it and was very proud of her first big purchase with her own money.

She didn't suddenly degenerate into a porn-watching sloth or anything. You know what your kid is like better than anyone on here--the answer might be NO for some kids, and YES for yours.

Besides, he is 17. If you didn't teach him what you wanted him to know about life by now, it's too late. I suspect you did teach him, though, since you are demonstrating by your question that you are the kind of parent who doesn't just let him doing anything without thinking it through first, right?
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:36 PM
 
687 posts, read 1,114,018 times
Reputation: 222
He will be seventeen in May and just because he has the money doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants with it. I keep the money in a savings account for him or his money would be gone. He does what he wants with his checking account, tips from work but I watch over the savings to make sure he has money for car repairs or other car related issues in the future. The money was a gift by the way and I was instructed to watch over it by the giver. Still not a hundred percent sure that his own computer is the right thing to do, but we can arrange so that it can't be used after a certain time or he could be up all night chatting on FB. He doesn't see R movies, in fact he would rather see Where The Wild Things Are....I'm not naive enough to think he hasn't viewed porn on line as well as most of his friends. That wasn't an easy thing to let go of. You can't control their entire lives and I don't want to but having boundaries still is important and will be until he leaves this house for good. Thanks for all the input and I will consider your suggestions.
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:44 PM
 
8,652 posts, read 17,200,671 times
Reputation: 4622
Quote:
Originally Posted by osuzana View Post
He will be seventeen in May and just because he has the money doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants with it. I keep the money in a savings account for him or his money would be gone. He does what he wants with his checking account, tips from work but I watch over the savings to make sure he has money for car repairs or other car related issues in the future. The money was a gift by the way and I was instructed to watch over it by the giver. Still not a hundred percent sure that his own computer is the right thing to do, but we can arrange so that it can't be used after a certain time or he could be up all night chatting on FB. He doesn't see R movies, in fact he would rather see Where The Wild Things Are....I'm not naive enough to think he hasn't viewed porn on line as well as most of his friends. That wasn't an easy thing to let go of. You can't control their entire lives and I don't want to but having boundaries still is important and will be until he leaves this house for good. Thanks for all the input and I will consider your suggestions.
Please don't take this wrong.... But you do seem to be a very controlling parent... And that isn't all bad if called for, but it may backfire on you one day. Good Luck...
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:55 PM
 
1,049 posts, read 3,001,645 times
Reputation: 1383
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houston3 View Post
Please don't take this wrong.... But you do seem to be a very controlling parent... And that isn't all bad if called for, but it may backfire on you one day. Good Luck...
Seconded.
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Old 11-09-2009, 01:07 PM
 
975 posts, read 1,750,405 times
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I'm pretty strict myself like no cell phones, no myspace or any other social networking stuff, but my kids 7 and 11 both have their own laptops mostly because they are required for school. They also both know that if I ever find something on their computer they're dead. Fortunately they follow the rules though so no issues so far.
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