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What age is the right age to have children? I mean people say your never ready for kids until you have them. Is that true? What if you want to have kids younge before you have finished school? Is having kids young going to ruin your life as some people like to put it?
They say you shouldn't have children young, but I was jealous of my girlfriend when her children became adults when she was in her mid-30s.
Trust me. Her life wasn't ruined.
She's able to enjoy life to the fullest while she's still young (mid-30s), mature enough to appreciate it, and earning a decent salary to actually travel and live life to the fullest.
As a result, I'd say have children as soon as finishing college.
But only have children if you've matured enough to have the patience and dedicated enough to give up your social life for parenting.
When people say you are never ready to have them, what they mean is that it is more work and harder than you thought - no matter WHEN you have them.
You are ready to have them when you can support them financially and emotionally.
Are you able to provide the things that a baby and a child need - in the way a parent needs to? Can you afford to feed, clothe and shelter the baby? See to medical needs? Are you ready to put your child's needs above your wants (and sometimes your needs too)?
If you are seriously asking if a child really "ruins" your life (as someone apparently told you), then my guess would be you are not ready.
Well I didnt think that children ruins peoples lives but I hear people say that, oh she got pregnant so younge her life is over and I think that its a little stupid. . . and for DRJONES96 I ment College, I would never recomend having a baby in high school thats a little to young. I ment around 20 or 21 years of age having a child. I personaly am married and me and my husband both want children in 2 years or less. We both agree on it completly. I understand that a babys needs comes before your own, and I am fully prepared to be patient and care for a child when we have them. And yes I do want to be financially stable when we bring a baby into the picture because babys do cost money. I was just curious of why some people think having a baby at 20 or 21 is a dealth sentence. Why is it socially unexceptable to have a baby that young now a days?
I've never heard that having a baby at 20 or 21 is a death sentence or that it is socially unacceptable. I do think that many people do wait longer than they did a few generations ago but I think that has to do with more opportunities available (college loan availability, women working outside the home etc) and attaining some financial security. Many people wait not only to have children but also to get married. If you are able to provide for a child and are in a stable marriage where you both agree you want children then I don't think what anyone else thinks really matters.
There is no magical "right age." I was 30 and 32 when mine were born, and had been married for 4 years. The parents I meet with kids the same age range from 5 years younger to 5 years older than me. I think finishing college first is a must (if you are going). I think, if possible, a woman should attempt to be done before they are 36. That's the age the risks increase. I wouldn't have wanted them any sooner, but we have some good friends who accidentally started their family at about age 21-22. It was rough at first. They had to depend on family for child care, and only one went to school at a time. But, 25 years later, they are empty nesters and are still young enough to enjoy their freedom. I think 30 is about right, but obviously not for everyone.
MACIESMOM: That is true, The only reason I say these things is because when I tell people in my life now (Family Friends ect.) That I want to have kids probably within the next year year and a half(when im 20 close to 21) they always say the same thing, Finish college first or your never going anywhere. Or like you cant have kids that young Ect ect. I have always wanted kids young. Being a mom is probably my dream because it is just an amazing thing to be a mom and have your own family that you made and you take responsibility for a care for. Im not a normally 19 year old I think, I dont drink or smoke do drugs or go out clubbing. I got married this past march when I was 19 and I where as I do still want to go to college I want a family more. People always tell me that you have all the time in the world why rush, but you never know when your time is up and its not like my time frame will put me in a hole. I have this whole year to save and prepare and also the nine months I will be carring the child. So to me thats plenty of time to get ready. Actually more then enough time. I just wanted advise from other moms or other people on what they think about having kids young...turns out I was right, If im ready and my husband is ready then who cares if other people think I should wait until im in my 30s.
I was a few days shy of 23 when my son was born, and 25 when my daughter was born. I think we did it a relatively easy age... DH had a good job making enough for me to stay home with them, we had/have a lot of energy, and they will be adults by the time I am 45. I occasionally think about having another, but I'm going to be 32 in a couple of months and honestly, I don't want to have teenagers in my late 40s, I don't think.
There's no right age, but I would still suggest waiting until finished with school before having them. Kids take a lot of time and money, so assuming it's a planned pregnancy make life far more easier by waiting the few years to finish school before you have kids.
Having a kid at 20 or 21, or even younger, isn't a death sentence by any means, but I certainly wouldn't actively plan on starting a family while in college. Unless there's a really pressing need for speed I'd wait, or at least time the pregnancy so that the baby isn't due until at least a couple of months post-graduation.
Once you're done with college and if you are financially stable then I can see how there would be some real benefits to having kids early.
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