Stay at home Parents

[malamute]

Originally Posted by MrMom2

I have the hardest time monitivating myself to do that. No motivation to work hard for no return, other than knowing you helped out a little. Which should be enough, I know

But in my defense, there's not alot of non-female or age appropriate (geared towards teens) things to volunteer for and my kid's school is far enough away to be an inconvenience (they go to a special needs school, rather than the regular ones).

Sometimes the reward in volunteering is that you can be building a network for job opportunities later down the road. If you show up regularly somewhere, when there is a part time job opening, you may be given dibs for it, many jobs that open up never are posted outside the company. Plus it gets you out of the house on a regular basis and can save your sanity. Stay at home parenting is fine but only for those who need nothing else, and keep in mind the best parent is a happy parent whether they are working outside the home or staying home all the time.

If you have a degree, you can consider substitute teaching, tutoring.

[JustJulia]

I think I would enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. I work from the house a few days a week, but it's not the same. I do get some laundry done, but I have to spend a lot of time writing and talking on the phone.

I would volunteer more at my kids' schools, for one thing. Right now, I am only able to give a few days over the next several months to my son's school. I don't have any time for my daughters' school, and I would like to help out there. I would probably end up working at least on partial day a week at one school or the other.

I would be able to work out every day, probably in the late morning, rather than a few evenings a week. I'd spend an hour or so every day doing that.

I'd like to take a few classes at the community college. I'd really like to learn to sew, and I would like to take a a course in massage therapy. I'd probably take a couple of classes about technical writing, just to keep my skills sharp. Freelancing from time to time would be nice. I wouldn't take all these classes at once, probably just one at a time.

I'd also like to take some of those free courses at Home Depot about do-it-yourself stuff around the house. If I am going to be home all day, I'd like to be able to handle some of the tasks my husband does. For instance, we have a ceiling fan to install in my daughter's room. I could do that if I knew how.

I'd take time every day to read. I miss reading books. I could stroll down to the river, read in the shade and look at the ducks and squirrels. I'd like to learn all the names of the trees, flowers and animals in my area and go birdwatching.

I'd volunteer with a local food pantry and one of our nearby nature preserves.

I'd bake more.

I could pick my son up from school at 2:30, walk the three blocks to our house, and be home in time to get my younger daughter off the bus. That even gives my son and me time to look at plants and bugs on the way home ... no hurry.

I'd work in the garden twice a week, rather than on the weekends.

I shop at several grocery stores to get the best deals, so that takes me about three hours every Saturday. I'd go during the week. It would be great to have all the household chores (shopping, gardening, cleaning) done during the week, so that my family could enjoy our free time on weekends, rather than using that time to play catchup on chores and errands.

I used to make jewelry but haven't since we moved here over a year ago. I haven't even unpacked my beads. It would be nice to make things again.

I used to want to work, work, work, and make lots of money and be successful at my job, but now it just bores me. My husband is doing well at his, so maybe in a year or two we'll be able to afford my quitting work. Childcare does cost a lot, but I make a good salary now. We can't live on one salary yet.

[kaykay]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

I watch soap operas and eat bon bons all day. Isn't that what all stay at home moms do?

LOL! This was my classic line when I was a SAHM! I don't know, but I know I only had one child. However, I was seldom NOT busy when I was a stay at home mom. I did volunteer some but that was only half a day a week. Besides the usual stuff at home, I also was "room mother" for my child's class for several years in a row and at the time, I had several friends who didn't drive or have a car for various reasons. There were a lot of times I took them places they needed to go. I also had a Bible Club for kids at the house once a month. I also went to a mom's club at church twice a month. Before my son was in school, I would take him out on various outings. They usually had to be free or relatively inexpensive because we were paycheck to paycheck too. I also enjoy reading a lot if I have the time for it.

All I can say is that the OP must be a lot more organized than I am. Keeping a house, one chld etc was definitely a full-time job for me. Sometimes I felt a sense of isolation (no one except children to socialize with) but I was really never bored from lack of something to do. Some of these things may seem to apply better to moms than dads. I don't know. You just kinda have to find your niche and work it. The happiest time of my life was when my child was small, and I didn't work outside the home.

[MrMom2]

Originally Posted by malamute

Sometimes the reward in volunteering is that you can be building a network for job opportunities later down the road. If you show up regularly somewhere, when there is a part time job opening, you may be given dibs for it, many jobs that open up never are posted outside the company. Plus it gets you out of the house on a regular basis and can save your sanity. Stay at home parenting is fine but only for those who need nothing else, and keep in mind the best parent is a happy parent whether they are working outside the home or staying home all the time.

If you have a degree, you can consider substitute teaching, tutoring.

This is true.

And others have hit it on the head. I've got Depression, apparently. Sux. What I really really want is my old job back or one like it, just no one is hiring in my area for anything right now (even for Christmas help). The extra income, something to focus on that I like and adult interaction.

for the record, I do have hobbies, but I like some variety. Just doing the same stuff all the time gets boring.

Someone else also pointed out some minor case of Empty Nest. Thats probly it too. When the kids were really little we were always busy and finding things to do. It was actually pretty fun. Once they started school full time it came to a screaming stop and I didn't know what to do with myself. I tried getting part time work, but no one's interested in you for 9am-2pm work hours or someone with alot of at home family problems. My wife has mental health issues.

Both my special needs boys were having problems at school as well and I'd get called to get them early all last year, so I really couldn't see getting a job them since I'd have to leave without warning often.

Now its quieted down, thank the gods, and with no one hiring...welll..... just kinda bored... didn't mean to come off as whiny... came out that way I guess. Sorry everyone. My old army buddys wouldn't believe it. lol

[MrMom2]

Originally Posted by kaykay

...but I was really never bored from lack of something to do. Some of these things may seem to apply better to moms than dads. I don't know. You just kinda have to find your niche and work it. The happiest time of my life was when my child was small, and I didn't work outside the home.

Well I think that's it in a big way. Just because those particular things are available, doesn't mean everyone is going to like those things for activities.

And yes everyone organizes differently. Some people do more than they need to and claim to be super busy when they didn't really need to be THAT busy on one task. They chose to add that extra work. Not that thats bad, just saying its a choice to do the extra stuff and then complain about not having enough time to do everything. I do what is necessary first, then if I have time, go back and do the extra stuff if there's a need. Whereas OTHERS may not have that much they need to do if its a small household or low maintenance family. Its all relative.

I do the laundry and dishes and vacuum, but those things don't take all that long and aren't needed everyday when I'm pretty much the only one home most of the day and week. Everyone's living spaces and conditions are different too. It doesn't take me 8 hours a day to clean my house and do the chores. As such I can organize it into doing dishes every other day and laundry twice a week, grocery once a week, my kids aren't athletic, so they have no sports I have to take them too anymore. They are homebodys and like tv and video games. Not that exciting as they used to be. Although I do force then to go outside anyways and toss the ball with me or go on a hike. That's us though. Everyone's different.

My happiest time was when the kids weren't in school yet either. They were alot of fun and we always had stuff to do. Now its too quiet and they are more independent now and I don't need to do everything for them anymore.

[Zimbochick]

Have you thought about volunteering at Habitat for Humanity? They are alwys looking for volunteers on weekdays, and you can learn new skills too. I volunteer at the food bank, and have met some really interesting people there. The community gardens, or "pea-patches" are also good.

[Aconite]

Originally Posted by KH02

Here is a list of what I do all day:
Laundry
Feeding children meals/cleaning up after the meals
Cooking
Driving to and from school (or in our case, field trips and co-op)
Entertaining them
Helping with Homework
Driving to and from storytime
Ironing
Grocery shopping weekly
Take kids on trips occasionally
AND
Doing homework and studying as I am a Full Time student at night....

I'll amend KH's list slightly. I handle all the financial details for our household. I run the errands like dry cleaning, mailing packages, etc. I volunteer for a couple of organizations. I grocery shop more often because we use a lot of fresh produce, and because this house has no pantry. I also homeschool two middle-school aged kids; before we started homeschooling I spent a ridiculous amount of time dealing with IEPs and school issues.

[militarymom]

My one son is in first grade-the other preK (9 hrs/week)
What I do:

housework, laundry, cleaning, take cars in for service if needed
volunteer (at school and at a clinic)
run errands (bank, groceries etc)
take younger son to parks/playdate/do homeschool stuff with him-practice fine motor skills-writing/cutting/shoe-tying etc.
prepare and cook dinner for hubby and family
drive kids to their activities back and forth all over town.
workout-run on treadmill and do pilates which takes 1.5 hrs/day not counting re showering
work on home study courses for continuing ed to maintain state licenses for when I return to work
when my kids were younger they had alot of autism related therapies-speech/occupation/behavioral therapies that I drove 500 miles/week for and was gone from 730am-430pm so like a full time job. Thank god I have 9 hrs.week to 'myself' now to run errands alone!

Basically since my hubby travels so much we don't see him often that when he's home I don't like him to lift a finger. The house is clean, errands are done that we can spend our time doing quality family related things--not run errands or do those things on a weekend or evening when we're actually together. works for us.