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Jeeze. And this is one strike against humanity. So, you were friendly. I cannot count the number of times that I have been to a game where the parents are so very "elite".
This may not count to you, but I enjoy reading your posts. You are very intelligent and witty. I have a very hard time believing that your behavior has hurt your family. Some people just suck and no matter what you do or how you act, they still suck. If you spend too much time trying to figure out what went wrong they will have you jumping through imaginary hoops.
Along those lines...
My best friend told me today that she's going to buy me a "Mean People Suck" tee shirt for Christmas. I absolutely love her! It made me feel so much better.
BTW, I appreciate the kind words more than I can express, Pandamonium. My off-line friends have also been very supportive. I've heard a ton of stories today from other mothers about blatant nastiness between women who are old enough to know better, and it has helped me keep things in perspective. Apparently, our school psychologist is considering an anti-bullying program aimed at fourth and fifth grade girls early next year. At this point, I think it might be more effective to market it to their mothers!
Anyway, thanks to all for this enlightening conversation.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 11-20-2009 at 04:23 PM..
Im telling you, some of the nastiest, most catty women I ever met were some of the mothers at our parochial school, where so-called Christian values were supposed to be priority number one. They were so clique-ish, so petty, and so downright juvenile at times. As a full-time working mother, I enjoyed as much interaction with my daughter's class as my work schedule would allow, yet I was considered a 'slacker' by their standards for my inability to keep up with their levels of participation. More than once I'd leave a school function hurt and down on myself. I wasn't alone - many of us school moms felt that pressure and exclusion.
I hate seeing women treat each other like this and I wonder why it happens so damned often. As if we don't struggle enough to get through work, family, and home life ... we have to watch our backs with so many of our fellow 'sisters', too.
Im telling you, some of the nastiest, most catty women I ever met were some of the mothers at our parochial school, where so-called Christian values were supposed to be priority number one. They were so clique-ish, so petty, and so downright juvenile at times.
You got that one right!!! When I had my DD in parochial school, I couldn't stomach some of the other moms with their "I'm better than you" attitude and their nasty looks and comments. I was sooo happy when I was finally able to pull my daughter out of that environment.
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I hate seeing women treat each other like this and I wonder why it happens so damned often. As if we don't struggle enough to get through work, family, and home life ... we have to watch our backs with so many of our fellow 'sisters', too.
It's so sad, but it will never, ever change. Women suck and that's the bottom line. They will do whatever they can to put down another woman, especially if they feel threatened by the other woman's looks, abilities, or what she has. It happens all the time and will always happen. Women won't change. At my job? I don't bother with any of the females there. I hang out with "the guys" and we can kid around with one another, talk, etc without having any of the petty nonsense that goes on with the females.
It's so sad, but it will never, ever change. Women suck and that's the bottom line. They will do whatever they can to put down another woman, especially if they feel threatened by the other woman's looks, abilities, or what she has. It happens all the time and will always happen. Women won't change. At my job? I don't bother with any of the females there. I hang out with "the guys" and we can kid around with one another, talk, etc without having any of the petty nonsense that goes on with the females.
Wow - sorry you've had such negative experiences. I have great female friends. I work in a department that is mostly women also and we all support each other! When the chips are down? It's your girlfriends who step up to the plate. Look at what women have done to bring breast cancer awareness to the forefront....Sure some women are jerks. So are some men. Don't give the whole gender the short shrift.....
In an interesting twist, tonight I picked up my son from a birthday party, and the family who insulted me was also there. Apparently, the universe has a wicked sense of humor! I made a quick exit and then went to the bookstore where I treated myself to a copy of Queen Bees and Wannabes. I'm thinking of asking other neighborhood moms of preadolescent girls if they'd like to read and discuss it together.
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Originally Posted by maciesmom
Wow - sorry you've had such negative experiences. I have great female friends. I work in a department that is mostly women also and we all support each other! When the chips are down? It's your girlfriends who step up to the plate. Look at what women have done to bring breast cancer awareness to the forefront....Sure some women are jerks. So are some men. Don't give the whole gender the short shrift.....
I agree. It's my female friends, a few of whom are here on C-D, who reminded me that I have lots of great qualities and helped me keep this all in perspective. Without their support and words of wisdom, I think I would have reacted poorly to the situation. They kept me grounded when I was riled up and raring for a fight.
At this point, I think it might be more effective to market it to their mothers!
Anyway, thanks to all for this enlightening conversation.
AMEN SISTER!!!!!
This is funny. I have a 10 year old daughter as well. OH BROTHER! Have we been down this road numerous times and it is all from the same girl.
We are neighbors AND go to the same church. She is the "goody two shoes" mom that everyone thinks is all so pretty and goes on about going to Bible study moms prayer groups all the time. You know what they do in these mom's prayer groups? THEY GOSSIP!!! My husband asked why I never went. One, I was never invited as I'm not on the "in" in THAT circle (thank GOD!). Two, they don't pray. Three, their priorities are screwed up. And there are many more.
This woman always sees me and says "FRIEND" all sugary sweet and all and for awhile it was fine. Then I finally saw between the lines and realized she isn't really my friend and she has her group and no more shall enter in. Our daughters are in the same grade but this year we put our daughter in a different school and she is THRILLED and HAPPY! No drama as she says all the time. Anytime this other girl is involved in some sort of drama which is daily at least once a week the mother calls the OTHER MOM to discuss the OTHER KIDS PROBLEM! HELLO!!! Honey, your constantly calling other moms about drama involving YOUR CHILD! Don't you get that it is YOUR CHILD CAUSING THE DRAMA! Not only that but she is TERRIBLY LOUD! I mean HOLLERING LOUD and will burst out in this terrible LOUD laugh. The first few times she did it in the car I about jumped out of my skin.
She CONSTANTLY tells kids things at school like what your daughter heard from this other "mean girl" but what your daughter heard was NOTHING. What all has she said:
1. Came over to my daughter and a friend at recess with her gaggle of drama queens and told the other girl that she could not play with her because she is black. My daughter told the girl that she was mean to that she could play with her but my daughter cried all day about that. And yes, the parents ARE racist. They never were really comfortable at my house when my friends that are not "white" were here. Oh, this incident happened in the 3rd grade.
2. She came up to my daughter and told my daughter that her dad said her daddy smokes (my husband). LMAO!!! YEAH RIGHT! He doesn't smoke and never has. I'm highly allergic to it and our daughter is an asthmatic. I can smell cigarette smoke a mile away. My daughter just told her she was wrong and walked off. I laughed. We still laugh about this one amongst ourselves. I plan on bringing this up if and when the time ever comes. Since I don't associate with this family any more I really don't care what they think of me when I do.
3. She told one girl that her parents were getting a divorce. OKAY! THIS IS DEVASTATING! She told the girl that they had been talking about it at home and her parents knew but had not told HER. The other mom told me and she didn't know what to do as they are all friends as well. I'm thinking that this finally got that mom to see that this girl is an instigator and ROYAL BRAT whose parents think she does no wrong. It is always the OTHER girl w/ the problem in their messed up heads. Anyway, I don't know if the mom ever said anything to the mean girls mom but her daughter was terribly upset.
When we carpooled for awhile I picked up on the day the kids had standardized tests. Well, this "mean girl" has to constantly one up everyone and be "THE BEST" or first in every single thing. So they all get in the car and I ask how their day was and all and how the tests went. Of course all the kids want to say is what time they got finished. Well one of the kids says that their class didn't start the test till 8:30 (school starts at 8:00). Another kid says their class started around 8:15. This "mean girl" says they started at 7:50. LMAO!!!! I seriously could not help it on this one and in a nice and funny voice said, "REALLY! Did they hand out the tests this morning in the car for some of you." That got everyone in the car but that girl laughing. She didn't say another word but studdered and stammered something that no one could understand. When we got home w/ just my daughter and I she finally said, "thanks mom, I'm glad someone said something to her."
Like I said, my daughter is in a different school now and away from all of the "mean girls" and their equally mean mothers and LOVING IT! If I can say anything it is that these mean mothers have done a fantastic job of training their daughters to be just like them.
Last edited by momof2dfw; 11-21-2009 at 12:40 AM..
In an interesting twist, tonight I picked up my son from a birthday party, and the family who insulted me was also there. Apparently, the universe has a wicked sense of humor! I made a quick exit and then went to the bookstore where I treated myself to a copy of Queen Bees and Wannabes. I'm thinking of asking other neighborhood moms of preadolescent girls if they'd like to read and discuss it together.
I agree. It's my female friends, a few of whom are here on C-D, who reminded me that I have lots of great qualities and helped me keep this all in perspective. Without their support and words of wisdom, I think I would have reacted poorly to the situation. They kept me grounded when I was riled up and raring for a fight.
What a great idea about the book discussion! Love it.
Like I said, my daughter is in a different school now and away from all of the "mean girls" and their equally mean mothers and LOVING IT! If I can say anything it is that these mean mothers have done a fantastic job of training their daughters to be just like them.
The apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree, as they say
I think the type of women who feel the need to be so hyper-competitive and petty with other women are usually insecure and unhappy deep down inside. They seem to breed these same traits into their daughters, and so on. I'm no expert, and this of course is just my own opinion, but we often look at women like this and from an outsiders standpoint, feel that they "have it all' ... good looks, comfortable lifestyles, sweet husbands, etc ... and wonder why they are so unhappy. Well, my guess is that they wonder why they're so unhappy, too.
I'm thankful for the strong female influences in my life ... my mother, sister, and close female friends. That however has not left me immune to hurt feelings over the years when other women treat me poorly for no apparent reason. I abhor the practice of 'sizing each other up'. Perhaps I'm just thin-skinned ... but truly, I just believe I enjoy bonding with women, whereas some women simply don't.
I agree that you should let it go. The parents probably just had a brief conversation and the child overheard it. Now let's be real, calling somebody a motor-mouth is not the worst thing that you can say about a person...
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Not only that but she is TERRIBLY LOUD! I mean HOLLERING LOUD and will burst out in this terrible LOUD laugh. The first few times she did it in the car I about jumped out of my skin. 
