Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-10-2009, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,145,001 times
Reputation: 2371

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by drjones96 View Post
Some folks will learn this lesson. But I'd bet an even larger chunk of society just see the reports on CNN about the jobless and the newly poor, say to themselves "Wow, that sucks", and then go shopping online for the latest iPod.
Yes, but just remember...those families that DO learn the lesson, hit "reset" this Christmas and turn their holidays into a much quieter, family and friends-focused, less crap-filled Christmas will only be helping themselves in the long run.

Either you look at this time in the economy and figure out what is truly a requirement and what's important, or you just try and keep your head above water until it starts to improve and then you go out and fill your house with more stuff.

My family is part of the group in the "haves". We're in no way rich but we have done everything we can to prepare for the worst and we save a little each month throughout the year for Christmas. That being said, our oldest (who's 7) is not ticking off her list of 100 things she "must have" for Christmas. This year, her most desired gift is a BFC doll (retail $24.99). I was in her classroom when her class was writing their holiday wish lists for writing workshop and many kids had Wiis, Nintendos, IPods, cell phones, a computer, etc. My kids' list looked like this: A BFC doll, lipgloss, markers, paint, pajamas, Olivia's Christmas book, a Minnie Mouse watch and pink snowboots. We've never told her that her list would have to be limited. We could get her everything on her list and more. But...the trick of it is that we have never focused on the gifts. She looks forward to baking every year and as she gets older, the frosting gets better looking. She looks forward to opening up the rubbermaid containers full of Christmas decorations and "oohs" and "aahs" over everything.

Christmas is not about the stuff. If it was in the past and it can't be this year, consider this a blessing in disguise. Buy only what you can afford. Perhaps having such a limited budget means you really have to figure out what your kid wants. Quality over quality is a good way to buy gifts anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-10-2009, 03:05 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,045,943 times
Reputation: 46669
Give them smaller gifts but a few more of them. The four-year-old won't know the different while the ten-year-old will just have to deal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2009, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,145,001 times
Reputation: 2371
Or involve the 10-year-old in picking out the 4-year-old's gift. That way, you're teaching the older one about a budget, but asking them to do a very important job...choose a perfect gift that you know their sibling will love...and to keep it a secret until Christmas. Use the time you're shopping to relay to the oldest child how much you thought about what you were going to get them even though you didn't have a lot of money this year. My 7-year-old had a blast picking out presents for her soon-to-be-2-year-old sister. She actually picked a few things I would have never thought of but know she is going to love.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-10-2009, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,854 posts, read 51,027,008 times
Reputation: 58749
Stuff for kids have gotten so expensive (all those electronics!!!) until it has got to be hard for parents to buy them even if the economy was great. Luckily, my kids are old enough until I just give them VISA gift cards and call it a day. If what they want costs more....they can pay the difference out of their own money.

But....I sure do remember when they were young teens and how darn hard each Christmas was trying to keep up with all the things they wanted. The best year is when I bought one gaming system and each of them their own games. Still cost a fortune and they fought over the system until I finally broke down and bought another one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2009, 11:23 AM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,902,363 times
Reputation: 2635
Okay, so we give the children 1-2 presents and Santa brings 1-2 presents each. It has always been this way. However this year, my 7 y.o. has a friend who has convinced him that the better you are, the more presents Santa brings (he also said he got 16 presents from Santa one year!). I have continued to tell my son differently, but it feels like it isn't getting through.

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on other ways to deal with this, as well as any stories on how you have dealt with the "so-so got 16 presents from Santa."

If I can find one I like, I'm going to add another present from Santa to the family: a creche with a note from "Santa" on how he gives presents to children to help them remember the gifts that Jesus gave us. Hopefully that will help him understand a little more, as well drive home the real meaning (he is starting to get into the 'gimme' stage) and ease the truth about Santa when that comes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2009, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,145,001 times
Reputation: 2371
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyme4878 View Post
Okay, so we give the children 1-2 presents and Santa brings 1-2 presents each. It has always been this way. However this year, my 7 y.o. has a friend who has convinced him that the better you are, the more presents Santa brings (he also said he got 16 presents from Santa one year!). I have continued to tell my son differently, but it feels like it isn't getting through.

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on other ways to deal with this, as well as any stories on how you have dealt with the "so-so got 16 presents from Santa."

If I can find one I like, I'm going to add another present from Santa to the family: a creche with a note from "Santa" on how he gives presents to children to help them remember the gifts that Jesus gave us. Hopefully that will help him understand a little more, as well drive home the real meaning (he is starting to get into the 'gimme' stage) and ease the truth about Santa when that comes.
Well, I'm not sure if you can change the story you've already established about Santa, but I have always told my kids that they get to ask Santa for 1 thing only. He doesn't have room to fill his entire sleigh with 10 presents for each kid. That way, my daughter really has to think hard about what she's asking for. Also...for purely selfish reasons...I have no problem giving "Santa" credit for one present, but I want my kids to know that their mommy and daddy thought long and hard about the perfect gifts to get them and so on the gift tag, it says "from mommy and daddy". I can give Santa a little bit of credit, but for the rest, I would like the hugs and adoration.

7 is a tough age. My daughter is 7 and she's got a lot of friends with older siblings who teach them about IPods, Wiis, Cell Phones, etc. The day they get back from Christmas vacation, it's all about "comparing notes" on who got what. So far, my daughter has resisted the temptation for the big stuff (though she did get a bike last year). But...the time IS going to come when she asks why she didn't get as many things as her more wealthy friends who are sporting new electronics. I guess I would try and figure out a way to basically say, "Wow. She's lucky she received so many gifts. Mommy and Daddy don't have the same amount of money as so-and-so to spend on Christmas, but we try and think of things we know you will love, so although your friend got more gifts, hopefully you feel like you received some very nice presents and can appreciate them."

Finally...you are right to keep focusing on what Christmas is really about. We have worked very hard to get the message through to our kids that they are going to get a few presents (but in no way will it be dozens of gifts) and we try and steer them towards things that are under $100.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2009, 05:31 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,902,363 times
Reputation: 2635
Quote:
Originally Posted by the3Ds View Post
Well, I'm not sure if you can change the story you've already established about Santa, but I have always told my kids that they get to ask Santa for 1 thing only. He doesn't have room to fill his entire sleigh with 10 presents for each kid.
I have maintained that same speech, but I'm worried that he is going to say, "But so-and-so got 10 presents. Why did Santa have room for 10 presents for him, but only only 2 for me?" Argh. So far all I have prepared for that possible line of thinking is that Santa knows that my son knows the true meaning of Christmas and what makes it special is not how many presents...

I think, though, if it does continue to be a problem (so far is hasn't been, I'm just preparing), I think I will let him 'figure out' Santa sooner. What magic is there in it if it becomes mostly a competition between friends?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2009, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Beautiful East TN!!
7,280 posts, read 21,276,227 times
Reputation: 2786
A friend of mine and I had this same discussion a few years ago and she does this with her kids and I now do it with mine. She told her kids " Jesus got three gifts on his birthday and we are celebrating his birth, so you get three gifts too." And when they were little, she told them "Santa brings you one."
I love this explanation! It not only gets rid of that "I want everything!" attitude, but reminds the kids what Christmas is all about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2009, 06:25 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,902,363 times
Reputation: 2635
Thank Mbmouse--that is an excellent idea!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2009, 10:42 AM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,032,538 times
Reputation: 4511
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyme4878 View Post
However this year, my 7 y.o. has a friend who has convinced him that the better you are, the more presents Santa brings (he also said he got 16 presents from Santa one year!).
It's sad for me to read that the comparisons are starting so young! Maybe it's time for the truth to come out? My son let me know around that age that he knew that his father and I were really Santa. I think he figured it out when we asked him to select kids from the school giving tree. He helped with the shopping and wrapping, so I think he realized that not all kids get a visit from the big guy. Regardless, he and his older sister continue to receive one special gift from Santa every Christmas morning.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:59 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top