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TheViking85, I will disagree with you on the statement that spanking is violence. I agree that some kids will be bad no matter if the are spanked or not. I raised my son by not spanking however if I felt that he would have needed one I would not have been opposed to doing it. I believe that spanking (not abuse) is an effect way of discipline for kids. If the child shows no regards for others than a little pain on the backside I think could be effective in showing that there are consequences to ones actions and sometimes it hurts a little. I was spanked and actually remember having to get my own switch when I was younger and in no way would I ever think it is right to use an object to hit a child but the hand is enough to get the point across. What I think we have in alot of parents today whether they are spankers or not is a lack of follow through, parents will threaten to ground, take things away, spank or whatever but then they change their mind and that is teaching kids that most likely all they will get is a lecture and with short attention spans they can handle that.
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Originally Posted by jimboburnsy
I totally agree. There is big difference between violence and discipline. Every child needs discipline and there isn't a formula of parenting that will work on every child. Some kids will respond very well to lower order punishments (never have met nor will I ever meet a human that did not require punishment for transgressions in youth) but others need a heavier hand. Two siblings under the same roof by the same parents can have wildly different needs and completely different results from the same parenting - why would anyone think that there is a single "right way" or that a practice that has been part of human culture since pre-history is always wrong? (Even if the U.N., in all its wisdom, says it is so)
If your child is telling you he or she needs corporal punishment, not much else will suffice.
From my experience, what children need is attention. Some need more than others, but spending time with your kids (and I don't mean one day during the weekend) is the key to a healthy and good childhood.
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Originally Posted by JBMallory
Spanking has its place, especially with a threat when in public. Usually all it takes is a "do we need to go outside to the car?" And they know what that means. My oldest only turns 3 tomorrow lol.
For one, I don't want my children being afraid of me, so threatening them isn't on the cards. Hardly seems the best way to form a good bond between people either.
I think a good rule to go by is what you'd done if it was an adult. You don't bend over a grown man of woman and spank them if they do something unacceptable, so why do it to a child who might not even know why what they're doing is wrong.
Explain to them why what they're doing is wrong, not just a "because I said so", tread a child with the respect you'd show a grown up, be consistent (if something isn't allowed, it isn't allowed.), and be willing to admit it if you're wrong.
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Originally Posted by mississippimagnolia
We do discipline our children using natural consequences for inappropriate behavior. But hitting kids to make them behave just doesn't make sense to me.
TheViking85, I will disagree with you on the statement that spanking is violence. I agree that some kids will be bad no matter if the are spanked or not. I raised my son by not spanking however if I felt that he would have needed one I would not have been opposed to doing it. I believe that spanking (not abuse) is an effect way of discipline for kids. If the child shows no regards for others than a little pain on the backside I think could be effective in showing that there are consequences to ones actions and sometimes it hurts a little. I was spanked and actually remember having to get my own switch when I was younger and in no way would I ever think it is right to use an object to hit a child but the hand is enough to get the point across. What I think we have in alot of parents today whether they are spankers or not is a lack of follow through, parents will threaten to ground, take things away, spank or whatever but then they change their mind and that is teaching kids that most likely all they will get is a lecture and with short attention spans they can handle that.
I agree FULLY!
I was spanked on occasion as a child, and after one particualrly nasty event (totally my fault mind you) in which I was spanked 5 times, by 5 different people; I never needed the spankings again. I had learned that there were serious consequences to my actions, and that if I did a bad thing, a bad thing would happen to me.
IMO, not too many kids fully grasp that concept today, and I believe it is due in part to the lack of corporal punishment in parenting.
IMO, not too many kids fully grasp that concept today, and I believe it is due in part to the lack of corporal punishment in parenting.
Reminds me of a teenage in high school, what I heard him saying once in front of his peers. That his parents can't touch him or else he will call the cops on them if they ever do. That kid was there smiling (ok I admit also doing this to my father when I was 13 not knowing, did got his action but oh well)
Well not sure about a teenager, that would be embarrassing and it can be late too (very slim chance a teen would change right away). They're not exactly kids at ages 13-17 (at 18, you're legal age already).
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