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and sexting shows a total lack of judgement and morals............Kids need role models,not parents that act like kids or should I say, worse than kids.
What is immoral about sending a racy picture to a SPOUSE? It's not as if she sent them to the mailman or to a teenaged boy. She sent them to her HUSBAND. I can say that my husband and I are still sexually active even at the ripe old age of 44 and we do like to 'spice it up' for each other. Where is the immorality in the OP's actions?
Also-kids do need role models but those of us who do no think of sex as sinful do not think that sending racy pictures to a spouse is being a poor role model. Why do you think it makes her a poor role model?
What you (DUMB) people don't understand is the fact that as a parent, the OP has lost all respect. Girls at that age are looking for role models, and sexting shows a total lack of judgement and morals, I should say. And trust me, they will not forget this easily. If the OP tries to act like a parent, the girls will not have any respect for her and that is what most people are missing here. They think Mom is a "w ****" and that does not go away. I guarantee you, you will see a lot of rebellion in the months to come, especially if they already have a problematic relationship. Kids need role models,not parents that act like kids or should I say, worse than kids.
I have a feeling that someday you and your hubby will laugh about this.
In the meantime, I'd tell your daughter that sexual play including sexting is perfectly O.K. from a moral standpoint since you are obviously a happily married long-term couple. I'd also tell her, however, that this experience has taught you that it's probably best not to send a phone pix that you wouldn't want the public to see since sometimes they reach people other than who they were intended for. Use it as a warning of what could happen if she sexts her boyfriend/friends.
Teenagers are grossed out by the thought of their parents having a sexual relationship. I think this is why the sexting upset your daughter so much.
and now my 16 year old thinks I am a ****. I'm devestated. what do I do now?
Explain to your 16 year old that you are an adult and that is your husband who the photos were sent to. There is nothing perverse or unnatural about spicing up a marriage.
I'd think your teen should keep of your husbands cell messages, no?
I think I have made my feelings on the matter pretty clear now. What I did was not wrong. The kids have been told a thousand times to leave our stuff alone. We spice things up by texting and sending pictures. there aint a dang thing wrong with that and I am not going to stop something we enjoy so much because my kids wont listen. Maybe they wont mess with my stuff again.
Seriously - I wouldn't worry about it - it's more hilarious than anything else. I mean my parents were/are open regarding sexuality and as a grown adult with a family of my own I feel like I benefited from my parents not being prudish about such things.
I never caught them sending pics on cell phones only because they didn't exist way back when I was 16 (at least not ones with cameras built in nor data plans of any kind). In your situation other than the obligatory "talk" about respecting their parent's privacy and how nothing wrong was done and lastly how this should be kept within the immediate family only, I'd just lock down the phone with a password for now on (and obviously try to remember to delete all stuff after viewing/sending).
Lastly, regarding the person who mentioned that the 16 year old has lost all respect for their mom and needs a good role model, I suggest to them to make a reality check. It doesn't take long to research and learn how most 16 year old girls have temporarily strained relationships with their moms simply because of the age and typical female-familial dynamics. This is not an "end all" scenario by any means. We're made to be sexual beings. Let's not hid our heads in holes and act like that isn't the truth.
Last edited by belovenow; 12-16-2009 at 08:39 AM..
I have a feeling that someday you and your hubby will laugh about this.
In the meantime, I'd tell your daughter that sexual play including sexting is perfectly O.K. from a moral standpoint since you are obviously a happily married long-term couple. I'd also tell her, however, that this experience has taught you that it's probably best not to send a phone pix that you wouldn't want the public to see since sometimes they reach people other than who they were intended for. Use it as a warning of what could happen if she sexts her boyfriend/friends.
Teenagers are grossed out by the thought of their parents having a sexual relationship. I think this is why the sexting upset your daughter so much.
Try to relax. She'll get over it eventually.
Kids should also realize -- no matter how awful the thought -- that if their moms didn't like sex, they wouldn't be here in this world. Kids have to learn to get over the notion that they were virgin conceptions.
You can tell the whole thing is dysfunctional. Usually, a parent would find the daughter sexting and not the other way around. When I think about sexting, I think of really young and dumb teenage girls with not fully developed brains and poor judgment, especially given the fact that anybody can get a hold of these pictures and put them on the Internet if they find them.
The priorities here are all screwed up,maybe it is time to give up on the sexting for a while and try to be a parent.
You mentioned that you and your kids are in counseling, and I am not surprised by this at all. You show a total lack of judgement and common sense, I am sure the kids feel like there is not a strong parent there they can rely on.
The whole act of snooping has a lot to do with the fact that they feel like there is no strong parent or role model there and they are testing you, usually kids engage in these types of "deviant" behavior when there are not a lot of rules and structure which does not surprise me at all, if sexting is more important than being a good parent, I don't blame them at all.
I am all for reversing roles here though,I think your two daughters should be running the house and you should be the teenage daughter. It seems like they have more common sense than you do.
I think your 2 daughters should be your parents!
Last edited by Repubocrat; 12-16-2009 at 08:46 AM..
I'm guessing none of you folks drink in front of your underage children. After all, what kind of role model would you be?
Actually, I don't drink at all. My parents were both alcoholics, and I consider the risk of alcoholism significant enough not to tempt fate.
Which is the message I offer to my kids, as well: some things, IME, simply are not worth the risk. And when they're adults and living on their own, they're welcome to do really stupid stuff-- but I would really hope they're smarter than that, and I can't find it in myself to applaud if they're not.
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My hero! LOL!!!