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lol sorry but that says alot about what you think about him and your relationship
Read further up in her post. She says "He feels that if he is paying the bills that is enough."
If that's correct and all he thinks he should be doing as a husband and a father--paying bills--she is right. If she worked, what WOULD she need him for???
For her mental health, she needs a break. This is serious.
For centuries women have managed their homes without any "help" from their husbands. I can understand a modern couple who both work sharing chores. But this is not a modern relationship, but a traditional one which the OP seems to prefer with some modification.
So they are living off of "his" savings while he seeks to educate himself to make a better future for them. But he should work outside the home and inside the home. She should work inside the home only with some "breaks" where he chips in and helps. This seems uneven to me.
Read further up in her post. She says "He feels that if he is paying the bills that is enough."
If that's correct and all he thinks he should be doing as a husband and a father--paying bills--she is right. If she worked, what WOULD she need him for???
For her mental health, she needs a break. This is serious.
It's tough to be without family support, as I well know. Your husband is asking for trouble. He better help out, or be ready for the consequences that will eventually come.
Can he take care of an infant? Thats what I would be worried about. But no, thats not too much to ask. But you should talk to him about it and know that going to law school does have a very heavy workload so it will have to be set up. This should probably be gone over now anyway instead of bickering about it when the baby is old enough to understand. He could be this way when they grow older as well.
I know you can't go back in time, but aren't these some pretty big lifestyle and personality traits that one would know about or discover while dating before they get married or have children?
For centuries women have managed their homes without any "help" from their husbands. I can understand a modern couple who both work sharing chores. But this is not a modern relationship, but a traditional one which the OP seems to prefer with some modification.
So they are living off of "his" savings while he seeks to educate himself to make a better future for them. But he should work outside the home and inside the home. She should work inside the home only with some "breaks" where he chips in and helps. This seems uneven to me.
Her job is 24/7. But that's not even the point. The point is that anyone who has no interaction outside the home with other adults is going to have some problems.
And speaking of past generations--no, in all cases the husband did not just abandon his family--he spent time with his children, at least the good ones did.
My grandmother had four children, one of whom was handicapped. Eventually she suffered what they used to call a "nervous breakdown"--couldn't get out of bed, could not function, cried constantly, could not DO anything. My grandfather took her to the doctor, and the doctor told him that he had to start taking her to a movie or something once a week because she was deep in depression from the monotony of taking care of four small kids, one of whom was mentally retarded and could not walk, and she had little or no contact with other adults. My grandfather's reply was "I put a roof over her head and food in her mouth, what more does she need from me?"
The doctor told him fine, keep that attitude, and you will find yourself taking care of all four children, because your wife is headed for the nuthouse.
Even Ward Cleaver spent time with his own children!
Her job is 24/7. But that's not even the point. The point is that anyone who has no interaction outside the home with other adults is going to have some problems.
And speaking of past generations--no, in all cases the husband did not just abandon his family--he spent time with his children, at least the good ones did.
My grandmother had four children, one of whom was handicapped. Eventually she suffered what they used to call a "nervous breakdown"--couldn't get out of bed, could not function, cried constantly, could not DO anything. My grandfather took her to the doctor, and the doctor told him that he had to start taking her to a movie or something once a week because she was deep in depression from the monotony of taking care of four small kids, one of whom was mentally retarded and could not walk, and she had little or no contact with other adults. My grandfather's reply was "I put a roof over her head and food in her mouth, what more does she need from me?"
The doctor told him fine, keep that attitude, and you will find yourself taking care of all four children, because your wife is headed for the nuthouse.
Even Ward Cleaver spent time with his own children!
And I find it hard to believe that the OP's husband does not spend time with his child.
It's tough to be without family support, as I well know. Your husband is asking for trouble. He better help out, or be ready for the consequences that will eventually come.
Time for a heart-to-heart talk, MQ!
I'm not the OP. I responded--must have gotten my post caught up somehow.
I got rid of my personal "dead weight" ten years ago, thank you very much! At least the OP's works for a living--mine got to the point where he wanted me to take care of him, take care of the baby AND support everyone besides.
After all this time, I still get a little thrill pf joy when I see him, thinking "I'm not married to you anymore! I'm not married to you anymore!!!"
And I find it hard to believe that the OP's husband does not spend time with his child.
They don't, though, sometimes. My ex-husband was not interested in our baby after the novelty wore off. He worked sporadically, when someone called him and needed an extra hand, but I worked full-time. If for some reason my mother could not care for our child on any given day, he would stay with her only until he could find a friend of mine with whom he could drop off the baby.
He would come home around 11:30 at night expecting to be entertained by me because "I figured by now you got the baby to sleep and would be free." I had to get up at 5:30 a.m. Needless to say, this among other things contributed to demise of our marriage.
My ex is not the only man I know who was like this, especially when the child is an infant. Sometimes men are better with the children when the children are bigger and playing sports and the like.
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