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When I was a child I had no say in what I ate. My mother cooked the meal and I ate it. Of course, when I was a child, there were few fast-food places and watching television was practically non-existent. So I did not have all the negative influences that parents must contend with today.
But there were a few times when the option was given to me to eat what was on my plate or go hungry. It works very well.
20yrsinBranson
I am not a big fan of giving kids no say in what they eat. IMO it sets up a battle that isn't worth fighting. I have foods that I don't like and my kids are entitled to not like certain foods as well. Nobody in our family is forced to eat anything they don't like.
In our home I fix one meal, usually 3-4 different dishes. We all eat what's there. If someone doesn't like one of the things that night they are free to skip it. Nobody ever became malnourished from skipping an occasional veggie or main course. Now that my kids are older they are free to fix something different from the rest of the family (sandwich or cereal) if they choose. When they were small I never made anything different for them but now that they are old enough to do it themselves it's fine with me.
I try not to make a meal of 3-4 things that one of the family members dislikes. If I am making a main dish that I know someone doesn't like I try to fix other things that they like. While I am not a short order cook, I think it is ok to know kids food preferences and to acknowledge them.
When the kids were smaller they were picky but we never made an issue of it. We continued to present meals and let the kids eat what they wanted and skip what they did not want. As they got older (they are 15, 13, 10) they naturally included more variety in their diet.
We like to enjoy our meals and meals are not enjoyable when there are constant struggles over food. Parents should let kids eat what they like, skip what they don't like and not make a big fuss over food.
I'll give you that. Both my brother and my MIL dislike sweet foods as adults, particularly those that are artificially sweetened. I don't know about my MIL, but my brother stopped eating sweets as a young adult. He definitely ate them when we were children. Have you always disliked sweets, or have your preferences changed with age?
For as long as I can remember, sweets have always made me feel sick. I like the taste of some things, but I get sick from sweets. If I drink a milkshake or eat ice cream, my stomach starts to hurt almost immediately. It's a terrible cramping pain that results in diarrhea. It has always been that way. I'm not lactosse intollerant; I can drink milk without issue. I love the taste of cheesecake, but I can only have one small bite just for taste. If I eat more, it just starts too taste too rich and gross. Chocholate is the same.
I can eat a bit more of sweet items that aren't as rich. For instance, they sell turnovers in the lobby where I work. I can eat about half of an almond turnover, but I can't finish it because the taste becomes too rich tasting. After eating three over a period of a few weeks, I quit buying them because I now associate the sick feeling with them now. Natural sweetness in fresh fruit doesn't bother me. It's sugar that seems to make me sick. Not artificial sugar.
But I loved salt. I remember pouring salt out onto the kitchen counter and eating it by dipping my finger in it when I was a kid. Nothing tastes better to me than a raw potatoe with a little salt. My mother used to shoo me away when she was peeling potatoes to boil! Then she got smart and taught me how to peel potatoes! I could eat all the raw potatoes with salt I wanted if I was peeling the potatoes! I still like salt but in smaller doses. That's what has changed with age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
I am not a big fan of giving kids no say in what they eat. IMO it sets up a battle that isn't worth fighting. I have foods that I don't like and my kids are entitled to not like certain foods as well. Nobody in our family is forced to eat anything they don't like.
In our home I fix one meal, usually 3-4 different dishes. We all eat what's there. If someone doesn't like one of the things that night they are free to skip it. Nobody ever became malnourished from skipping an occasional veggie or main course.
This is how I was raised. If we passed up a serving of something, my mother simply said to take a vitamin. She kept a bottle of multi-vitamins at the center of the table with the salt and pepper shakers. I don't believe in belonging to the 'clean plate club' either. I just believe that it's important to not make a big deal about what children eat. If they are hungry, they will eat. I would never cater to a child by making special food. At the same time, I don't make anything that household members outright hate. My husband hates Lazania and other Italian food with cheeses in it. My son hates anything greesy and fatty. So we don't eat cheesy Italian or greesy, fatty foods at our house. The only difference is meat. I hate meat, but I cook it and serve it because it's an important food group. I'll even take a bite or two depending on the type of meat, but that's as far as it goes for me and meat.
My father was a strict disciplinarian (and Great Depression-era kid) who enforced cleaning up our plate in a very cruel manner. If you still had food on your plate by the time he was done eating, the egg timer came out, and if your food was still on your plate when that timer went off, you got a spanking. It was simply awful, and painful for the entire family. I was a very skinny kid, and a very small amount of food took me a long, long way. They would still heap my plate with far too large of servings for my needs however, and though I could manage to stuff it down most of the time, there were a few exceptions. I despised mashed potatoes, and anything with a similar texture. I learned at an early age that if mashed potatoes were on the menu for the night, my night would end with a spanking. I tried spitting food into a napkin, excusing myself halfway through the meal to spit it out in the toilet, everything. I would have been thrilled to have the option to simply not eat it and go to bed hungry. Instead, I grew up hating mealtime with great fear, and proclaimed that I would never ever be that way with my own child. Thankfully, it wasn't an issue ... she ate almost everything put in front of her and what she didn't like, she didn't have to eat. Mealtimes in my home were happy and warm affairs and still are to this day - my daughter is almost 20 and still eats nightly with us unless she has a class or is working that night.
I still have a chip on my shoulder for what my father put me through at the dinner table. Forceful feeding can result in poor habits and eating disorders later on in life for people. I still hate mashed potatoes, and don't cook them unless my hubby or daughter request them.
My father was a strict disciplinarian (and Great Depression-era kid) who enforced cleaning up our plate in a very cruel manner. If you still had food on your plate by the time he was done eating, the egg timer came out, and if your food was still on your plate when that timer went off, you got a spanking. It was simply awful, and painful for the entire family. I was a very skinny kid, and a very small amount of food took me a long, long way. They would still heap my plate with far too large of servings for my needs however, and though I could manage to stuff it down most of the time, there were a few exceptions. I despised mashed potatoes, and anything with a similar texture. I learned at an early age that if mashed potatoes were on the menu for the night, my night would end with a spanking. I tried spitting food into a napkin, excusing myself halfway through the meal to spit it out in the toilet, everything. I would have been thrilled to have the option to simply not eat it and go to bed hungry. Instead, I grew up hating mealtime with great fear, and proclaimed that I would never ever be that way with my own child. Thankfully, it wasn't an issue ... she ate almost everything put in front of her and what she didn't like, she didn't have to eat. Mealtimes in my home were happy and warm affairs and still are to this day - my daughter is almost 20 and still eats nightly with us unless she has a class or is working that night.
I still have a chip on my shoulder for what my father put me through at the dinner table. Forceful feeding can result in poor habits and eating disorders later on in life for people. I still hate mashed potatoes, and don't cook them unless my hubby or daughter request them.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. ((((Nor Cal Wahine))))
I can't imagine what it would be like on an ongoing basis. That only happened to me ONCE.
My mother and father got into a fight and my mother went to visit her mother in a different state, leaving us with our father. This is the only fight I ever recall between my parents. (I give my mother props for daring to leave my father to take care of the household! ) He must have been stressed out!
Anyway, he made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomatoe soup. I didn't like tomatoe soup. I ate my grilled cheese sandwich, but not the tomato soup because I don't like tomato soup. He made me eat it. (Only time in my life someone made me eat something.) When I was done eating, I got sick---threw up instantly.
I must have been 8 years old. I couldn't eat grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for decades. More recently, I've made grilled cheese sandwiches but I serve it with a vegetable soup or a chicken soup. I'll never eat tomato soup---ever!
Our traditional Christmas dinner is toasted cheese sandwiches (fontina, taleggio, and emmenthaler...have to make it fancy, since it is Christmas dinner after all), home-made tomato basil soup, and a mixed green salad. You see the color theme, right?
Last edited by formercalifornian; 12-21-2009 at 11:23 AM..
Reason: typo
Funny! My poor father must have been out of his mind with stress! My mother was one smart women!
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian
Our traditional Christmas dinner is toasted cheese sandwiches (fontina, taleggio, and emmenthaler...have to make it fancy, since it is Christmas dinner after all) home-made tomato basil soup, and a mixed green salad. You see the color theme, right?
That sounds beautiful! I'd eat the grilled cheese and the salad! I MIGHT even dare to dip my sandwich into the tomato soup just ONCE since it has basil. I'd be curious.
We like to enjoy our meals and meals are not enjoyable when there are constant struggles over food. Parents should let kids eat what they like, skip what they don't like and not make a big fuss over food.
That's fine I suppose if you don't care about your family's health. Children are not going to pick HEALTHY FOOD. They are going to pick junk that tastes good. How are you going to feel 20 or 30 years down the line when they are plagued with diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer and all the other maladies that can be attributed to a poor diet.
Children must be TAUGHT what to eat in order to maintain their optimum health. If you are not doing that then you are doing your children a huge, huge disservice.
My mother made certain that our meals were healthy. I was expected to partake and keep my opinions to myself. Many times I did not like the food that much but I ate it. Now I understand that she was doing it to help me learn to like foods that are healthy and good for me. Otherwise, I'd be eating pizza and mac and cheese for every meal - like many young people do today.
That sounds beautiful! I'd eat the grilled cheese and the salad! I MIGHT even dare to dip my sandwich into the tomato soup just ONCE since it has basil. I'd be curious.
The fancy china and crystal helps tremendously with presentation. So does the wine. Everything is better with wine!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
That's fine I suppose if you don't care about your family's health. Children are not going to pick HEALTHY FOOD. They are going to pick junk that tastes good. How are you going to feel 20 or 30 years down the line when they are plagued with diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer and all the other maladies that can be attributed to a poor diet.
Children must be TAUGHT what to eat in order to maintain their optimum health. If you are not doing that then you are doing your children a huge, huge disservice.
My mother made certain that our meals were healthy. I was expected to partake and keep my opinions to myself. Many times I did not like the food that much but I ate it. Now I understand that she was doing it to help me learn to like foods that are healthy and good for me. Otherwise, I'd be eating pizza and mac and cheese for every meal - like many young people do today.
20yrsinBranson
I suspect that Momma_Bear, like me, is talking about family meals in which she has prepared a variety of healthy options. At least in our house, refusing the broccoli side dish isn't a problem, because my son is always up for a small pre-dinner salad. I don't fuss if my daughter refuses the whole cherry tomatoes on the green salad, since the three-bean chili is full of crushed tomatoes, and she would lick the bowl if we'd let her. That said, I still put a couple of cherry tomatoes on top of her salad just in case she gets brave and wants to try them.
Children are not going to pick HEALTHY FOOD. They are going to pick junk that tastes good.
But healthy food can taste good, and as different posters have shown, kids like all different kinds of things. My son refuses to eat potatoes, but he loves all kinds of fruit. He'd eat a whole head of celery if I let him. My daughter doesn't like spinach, but she loves broccoli.
Not to mention, children can only pick from food choices available in the house.
If all the food is healthy in the house, a parent doesn't need to make a big deal about a child refusing certain things.
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) He must have been stressed out! 
