How do your children address non-relative adults? (teenager, son, 2 year old)

[BlueWillowPlate]

Originally Posted by Sampaguita

...and how would you prefer to be addressed by young children and teens?

Do you think that the seeming lack of respect that children and teens have these days for adults and adult authority stems in some part from their view of us as peers?

I do realize that these days, adults don't want to be addressed as Mr/Mrs. I also realize that a lot of the problems with disrespect stems from the home environment.

Would bringing back some "old fashioned" manners work in today's society?

I am of two minds about this (sigh--as is so often the case).
I grew up *usually* saying Sir or Ma'am or Mr or Mrs. It did sort of depend on the age and station of the adult--they did not always want to have an honorific attached to their name.
I tried to instill this habit in my own children, who did seem to be faced with the same situation: the adults themselves often did not want to be called Mr or Mrs.
And the thing is, respect does not necessarily come from a person's title.
It comes from a person's demeanor and actions.
But I do believe in giving a person the benefit of the doubt.
lol L.K.

[okaydorothy]

We tell our boys that they have to address people as mr or mrs until they are told by that person to address them with what they request.

dorothy

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by Sampaguita

...and how would you prefer to be addressed by young children and teens?

Do you think that the seeming lack of respect that children and teens have these days for adults and adult authority stems in some part from their view of us as peers?

I do realize that these days, adults don't want to be addressed as Mr/Mrs. I also realize that a lot of the problems with disrespect stems from the home environment.

Would bringing back some "old fashioned" manners work in today's society?

My children put Mr, Mrs, Ms...etc infront of the persons first name as long as we are on a first name basis with that person, if the person prefers being called by the last name, they use the last name... they say excuse me before entering into conversation with the person...

Proper names like Reverend, etc are always in place...

[BusySocialWorker]

1st names here and I would prefer to be named by my first name rather then a title.

[Lisa_from_Debary]

I asked my daughter last night, she told me that she calls her friends Parents Mr or Miss then the last name...

Well at her school they are told to call all the teachers Miss and then their last name.

I explained to her that Miss if for women who aren't married and never have been...I explained to her that one of her friends whose Mother and Father are still married, her Mother should be called Mrs. and then her friend whose Mother is divorced should be Ms...

I was proud of her when she said that too me.

[Stockholmaren]

I still have a really hard time with this whole thing since I wasn't used to it growing up. Everybody went on a first-name basis, but that doesn't seem to be very common here from what I can tel..

[irishmom]

Originally Posted by Lisa_from_Debary

I asked my daughter last night, she told me that she calls her friends Parents Mr or Miss then the last name...

Well at her school they are told to call all the teachers Miss and then their last name.

I explained to her that Miss if for women who aren't married and never have been...I explained to her that one of her friends whose Mother and Father are still married, her Mother should be called Mrs. and then her friend whose Mother is divorced should be Ms...

I was proud of her when she said that too me.

You should be proud of her!

I taught my kids to use Ms. (mizz) if they weren't sure if someone was married or not with the last name, they use Miss and first name for people we know well.

[XinaMarie]

I grew up in California and we addressed teachers and church elders by titles and last names. Any time an adult would insist on a first name, my parents generally put "uncle" or "aunt" in front of it, which I hated. It gave them an authority that I do not believe that they should have had. And, many of thos uncles and aunts abused that title. My parents had the mentality that all adults were authorities and to my experience....some adults were just idiots.

Now that I have children and live in Tennessee, there is a tradition that we call adults by title and last name. If they insist on a first name then they get the title Mr. Jeff or Ms. Jane but not aunt or uncle. I don't want my kids thinking that adults are peers nor do I want them to think that they have an authority of a family member. I don't require my children to answer "yes ma'am or sir" to just anyone although it is a tradition here in the South. Yes, to a teacher if it is required and to my husband and myself when they are in trouble or needing to show that they are being attentive.

[Anigirli]

Hi peeps,
I also agree it's a great topic tro discuss. My mammy always told me while growing up it is important when addressing people there has to be certain formality, especially when dealing with older people by calling them "Mrs. or Mr. so and so". When talking with a more mature person or someone of a higher rank, the appropriate way to call them by was "Madam or Sir". She used to tell me not take the liberties in calling someone by the first name if we did not have a certain rapport with them. Growing up the only time I ever felt comfortable calling someone by their first name, were my school peers or friends of mine. To this day in my 20's I still have the habit of being very respecful in how I intereact with others. Many people tell me right away (even at job interviews) "Please call me Steve." When they say that it makes me blush.

[Jason_Els]

For you Yankees gone Dixie, I recommend, when in Rome...

I thought using a title with a first name was a bit odd, but I came to understand it. Southern society is not northern society and I think to be polite it is best to honor the customs of where one lives. It's simply good manners.