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My daughter will be 12 in about 5 weeks. She still believes in Santa Clause. My wife was goign to have "the talk" with her about it and I told her absolutely not, it will take her spirit away.
At what age should kids know so they are not getting their chops busted over it. I have mixed feelings on it and we were thinking of talking to her about it some time in mid year as we didn't want to wait until next christmas to tell her Honey guess what????
I know some of you will say she already knows but seriously...she beleives even after most of her frinds have told her the truth?
Seriously? At 12, she should have either known or been told a long time ago. If she goes back to school tomorrow telling her friends about all the gifts she got from "Santa", she is going to be the laughing stock of the school ---- and, at 12, I'm assuming she's in Junior High/Middle School and girls at that age can be BRUTAL.
I know you want your daughter to still believe in the magic of Santa and have that spirit but you'll be doing her a terrible disservice if you BOTH don't sit down with her and explain that it's you who leave the gifts and Santa is a fun game (of sorts) that parents play to make their kids more excited about the holiday. You can even do research on the real St Nick or show how the Santa story is different in different countries.
I honestly have a feeling she knows (she's 12!) but you have to talk to her about it anyway.
Are you sure she isn't just playing you to keep getting more gifts? I knew the truth at around 8, but my older sisters convinced me to keep playing along so that we could keep getting santa presents.
My son is 10 - we just told him after his birthday last week.
If you're clever and dedicated, you can keep them believing for a long time. We went to some pretty far lengths to make sure he still believed.
But we decided he needed to know. He was pretty upset, but he is looking forward to being an "elf" next year for his younger sister. We told him everything and he asked a lot of questions. I thought it would only take 15 minutes or so, but it took about 45. Then the rest of the day he kept questioning us, "What about when ..." Also, he had convinced himself that he had seen Rudolf come up to his window at around age 7, so there was some embarassment.
We reminded him that we worked hard to keep him believing and that it wasn't to embarass him. We told him that some children learn earlier because their parents aren't as dedicated to it as we are. We told him that it was getting harder and we didn't want him to learn because he caught us, which could ruin Christmas at some point. We walked him through just how far we'd had to go this year. This naturally led to the discussion of the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny.
He was warned to play along with younger children and anyone else who still believed. It's been a few days and he seems to be fine now. We explained that as long as he was willing to play along, "Santa" would still bring the same load he always has. This may have helped to take some of the sting out of it.
If there is a younger sibling, she could help you play santa next year. If not, maybe she could help you play santa for a charity, star tree at the mall, or whatever. Try to make it a fun thing to do the giving. I don't remember how old I was, but I didn't believe my friend when he told me, either. But when I told my mom what he had said, she was honest with me. I was kind of embarrassed, too.
My daughter will be 12 in about 5 weeks. She still believes in Santa Clause. My wife was goign to have "the talk" with her about it and I told her absolutely not, it will take her spirit away.
At what age should kids know so they are not getting their chops busted over it. I have mixed feelings on it and we were thinking of talking to her about it some time in mid year as we didn't want to wait until next christmas to tell her Honey guess what????
I know some of you will say she already knows but seriously...she beleives even after most of her frinds have told her the truth?
Thoughts?
I think 7 or 8 is the normal age. I remember my friends telling me that Santa Claus is really our parents and when I asked my mom she said yes, it's the parents because the parents like giving gifts to the kids and not taking the credit for giving them.
I think you have to be careful when a child truly hangs on too long -- especially if they argue with friends about it, you have to be careful how you now let on.
We told her a few years ago to keep her Santa beleifs to herself because there are other kids that just do not want to beleive.
That said, after reading here we feel a bit foolish ourselves. That said, we decided that when it comes up we will be honest as well. If it does not come up we will have to initiate it.
It is a hard decision and a sad one. There is nothing better than the magic of Santa and the kids eyes on Christmas morning. I am so going to miss that.
We never played up "santa", but told the stories and went to see him in the mall and watched Rudolf on tv every year. By age 7 my kids told ME santa wasn't real. My son even noticed that santa used the same wrapping paper as me.
I don't think a 12 year old would seriously believe in Santa but probably just likes the idea of make-believe.
Is she your only child? Or your youngest? I remember "believing" long after I didn't really believe anymore because I felt pressure as the youngest to keep it up for everyone else. It got sort of awkward...
I like the idea of talking about it mid-year. Summer, when school isn't in session, is probably a great time. That will give her some time to adjust before the next Christmas season is upon her (and you).
And - it isn't sad. Not at all. It is developmentally normal. Kids need to grow up and as parents, we need to foster that even if we feel nostalgic for the sweet days of young childhood.
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This may have helped to take some of the sting out of it.
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