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Perhaps better for another thread, but inspired by the discussion of children using knives. I've noticed that a lot of children don't know how to eat with a knife and fork, even by the age of eight. Both my kids began using a knife and fork by age six, and I remember a cousin would was proficient by the time he was four.
Two separate instances stand out in my mind, both from my son's friends who came to dinner around age eight. By some strange coincidence, I had served roast beef each time. The first time, we were all digging in, my son's elbows swinging as he very ungracefully sawed away through his slice. My 10-year-old daughter noticed the boy's distressed look and offered to cut his meat for him. His mother still cut up his meat for him. The second boy took the initiative when presented his plate and was not at all stymied by his inability to use a knife and fork--he just picked his slice of roast beef up and took a bite as if it were a sandwich!
I know that going to day-care as young children hurt my children's table manners, but at least they were taught eating skills at home. It seems that many other parents don't think that 4 and 5-year-olds are capable of learning how to use a knife and fork at the table. They certainly won't improve if they never practice! Parents may not consider the challenges their children will face when they go off to another household or camp. We all cringed when we realized that those two boys were embarrassed by not being able to perform a simple skill. My kids were also grateful that they could confidently do tasks that their friends couldn't do.
Those skills extended to the kitchen. My daughter began baking around age 6, with help. Her second-grade model of the earth was a cake she colored, baked, and cut into the different layers. My son began making candy when he was about twelve. He watched me make toffee pecans, and weeks later, he had almost figured out how to make hard candy with sugar, water, and fruit syrup. He just didn't know how to go to the hard crack stage.
These days, he is constantly in the kitchen, concocting things. He lurks when I am cooking to watch what I'm doing. Sometimes I tell him whatever technique I'm using. Sometimes my daughter lurks too. We're just one of those families where everyone likes to cook and eat.
My 3.5 year likes to help out in the kitchen. At this point a lot of it is just getting things out of the fridge or putting them back in. But she can also make her own PBJ (using a butter knife to spread it around), work the microwave (with me supervising and telling her which numbers to push), use the food chopper (the kind where you press the handle and the blades are inside away from fingers), roll out and cut cookie dough, and of course, stir things up. I don't let her near the stove or oven yet. Now if I could just get her to pour her own drinks and put milk in her cereal without making a huge mess!
My 17 year old step son has just moved in with us and cant use a knife and fork !!!!! i am horrified. I have tried cutting everthing up for him hoping he would be embarressed and at least try .... but no that hasnt worked ! He usually just eats with his hands .... cant believe his mother couldnt take the time teach him this basic skill. HELP !!
It isn't unusual for very young kids to enjoy cooking. My 5 year old granddaughter loves cooking and makes lasagna every couple weeks, mostly by herself. She makes lots of things for the family. She makes sandwiches and can do a portion of whatever meal her mother is preparing for the family.
On the other hand, her brother hates to cook and he's 15. Not that he can't, he just would rather not.
AND THEN there's their mother. She didn't like cooking and resisted until she was in her mid twenties other than anything that was prepared and could be microwaved. Now she is a wonderful cook, makes all their bread from scratch and cooks anything she thinks looks or sounds good.
My 17 year old step son has just moved in with us and cant use a knife and fork !!!!! i am horrified. I have tried cutting everthing up for him hoping he would be embarressed and at least try .... but no that hasnt worked ! He usually just eats with his hands .... cant believe his mother couldnt take the time teach him this basic skill. HELP !!
Your table your rules. Let him know that if he wants to eat dinner with you, he needs to use good manners - ie: a knife and fork when appropriate.
At 17 he'll probably be able to figure out how to use basic cutlery all by himself. He just needs a little incentive to do it. Good luck.
I think it all depends on the child and the mom. Mostly the interest and the responsibility level of the child, and how over-protective the mom is.
I always loved it when my kids learned to do things. I'd let them make stuff whenever they wanted, as long as they didn't hurt themselves too badly and cleaned up the mess when they were done. My wife, on the other hand, had a different standard for both of my prerequisites. I was always the one who got into trouble if there were burns or cuts, or if there was anything left that wasn't spotless.
Which actually turned out to the advantage of the kids. They liked cooking because they weren't always allowed to do it. And she kept them from doing anything too stupid, and taught them how to clean up their messes. It still depended on the kid, but they all knew how to make sandwiches and ice cream, and use the toaster and microwave (including how to use the keypad and not to put metal in it) by the time they were 5. Some earlier. By age 8 all but one could make waffles. By age 12, all but one could make a mean biscuit, serious spaghetti, and a decent loaf of bread. All from scratch of course. I will admit though, we had our share of door stops and hockey pucks while they were learning. And it was years before we could trust them not to leave the salt out of the French Baguettes.
The one kid that wasn't allowed to use the stove or the oven was a bit of a challenge. He was quite intelligent, but just didn't seem to have much common sense. It was sort of like "Hmmm. The candy thermometer says this is 275 degrees. I wonder if it's hot?" as he sticks his finger into the mixture just to see. Still, he did learn. He only did that once. But Mom wouldn't let him use the stove or oven until he was older.
My second daughter was addicted to cooking. She LOVED making any kind of pastry or candy, and would make up excuses to take baked goods to the neighbors. As a result, by the time she was 11, Mom was more than happy to let her pretty much take over the cooking responsibilities for the entire family. My job was to suggest new and exciting dishes and help her secure the recipes. And supply constructive criticism. She got pretty good at it, and I was the beneficiary. She did spend a lot of time cooking, but she got out of a lot of other household chores, which suited her just fine. It would usually take her a couple of tries, but she always got to the point where her goods were better than the ones at Walmart. I had to eat quite a few triple chocolate muffins before she finally got them right. Rough job, but somebody has to do it, y'know.
My 11 yr old daughter can make
eggs
sausage
pancakes
oatmeal
toast/bagels
grilled cheese
ramon noodles
hot dogs/ corn dogs
fries
chicken nuggets
box brownie mix
hamburger helper
baked potatoes
can biscuts
pita pocket pizza
chicken salad
pasta salad
She wouldn't starve but she wouldn;t be making the healthiest food either. I guess it's time I step it up to doing more real cooking with her. Maybe an easy chicken/broccoli/rice casserole?
When I was small, we had a gas stove (everybody had), and that was one of the reasons I didn't approach the stove till 9. I remember that first time I lighted up the gas by myself. It was frightening.
I remember when my sister was about 12 and the five of us kids were home by ourselves. It was night and she decided to make some brownies. Our stove was gas and the oven had to be lit by match. Well... She turned on the gas BEFORE she lit the match and actually did blow her eyebrows off. Shook the whole house. I was upstairs putting our brother (2) and sister (5) to bed and thought it was a bomb.
Don't you wonder how kids survived back a few years ago?
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I remember when my sister was about 12 and the five of us kids were home by ourselves. It was night and she decided to make some brownies. Our stove was gas and the oven had to be lit by match. Well... She turned on the gas BEFORE she lit the match and actually did blow her eyebrows off. Shook the whole house. I was upstairs putting our brother (2) and sister (5) to bed and thought it was a bomb.
