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For the last 2-3 weeks my 3 year old daughter has had at least one tantrum per day, and sometimes 2-3. We talked to our pediatrician who checked her over (we thouught maybe she had an ear infection or something) and she said she looked fine. She said she's not concerned about it, it could just be a hold over from the craziness at the holidays.
I guess I'm looking for reassurance from others that this is not completely unheard of. I know this is the tantrum age but I'm starting to worry that my poor wife is going to have a breakdown. My daughter has always been a bit of a "hot head" for lack of a better word. Since our son came along 14 months ago things have gotten a bit more challenging to say the least. I know much of it may be related to him but we can't keep them apart 24/7.
Any reassuring words or suggestions would really be appreciated right now...
She sounds totally normal. My 3 year old daughter has them of course.
They seem to definitely be related to slight sleep deprivation (she's tapering off napping at school during the week). Has she been getting enough sleep lately?
When my daughter has a total meltdowns about something that is just ridiculous, for example:
the other night just before putting dinner on the table, she walks into the kitchen and says,
HER: "Can I have something to drink please?"
ME: "Yes, we have water that's already on the table because we are about to sit down to dinner, you can help yourself at the table"
HER: 'No, I want something else."
ME: "Yes, well, I can get you some milk too as soon as I can put this dish on the table"
HER: (now whining) NO! I want something else!
ME: Well, I'm sorry that's all we've got, come and eat and it's all on the table.
HER: (now in full whining crying ramping up to hysteria mode) NO YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE, NOT WATER NOT MILK SOMETHING ELSE!!!!
ME: sorry, honey no, I don't have anything else. What were you thinking of anyway?
HER: (total freak out tantrum, screaming, crying, flailing etc)
ME: Well, I cannot help you while you are screaming I can't understand you, so you need to go do that screaming in the other room. As soon as you are ready and can talk to me again I'll be in the kitchen here eating dinner with daddy and your brother.
HER: she keeps it up for a good 8-10 minutes in the other room crumpled in the corner (self imposed cornering of herself)
Eventually gives up, stops, blows nose hugs me apologizes and sits down to eat. Doesn't want to talk about it, pretends like it never happened....
Eh, kids. They are, you know, kids. Totally normal.
Sometimes a glass of wine is all you can do with all that whining going on around you!
steady, now. She is 3. Its ok. Routine and calm reactions to tantrum. Don't give in. Let her have controlled choices thru the day - brush teeth before or after getting dressed? Green or blue shirt? ____ or ____ for breakfast?
steady, now. She is 3. Its ok. Routine and calm reactions to tantrum. Don't give in. Let her have controlled choices thru the day - brush teeth before or after getting dressed? Green or blue shirt? ____ or ____ for breakfast?
She sounds totally normal. My 3 year old daughter has them of course.
They seem to definitely be related to slight sleep deprivation (she's tapering off napping at school during the week). Has she been getting enough sleep lately?
When my daughter has a total meltdowns about something that is just ridiculous, for example:
the other night just before putting dinner on the table, she walks into the kitchen and says,
HER: "Can I have something to drink please?"
ME: "Yes, we have water that's already on the table because we are about to sit down to dinner, you can help yourself at the table"
HER: 'No, I want something else."
ME: "Yes, well, I can get you some milk too as soon as I can put this dish on the table"
HER: (now whining) NO! I want something else!
ME: Well, I'm sorry that's all we've got, come and eat and it's all on the table.
HER: (now in full whining crying ramping up to hysteria mode) NO YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE, NOT WATER NOT MILK SOMETHING ELSE!!!!
ME: sorry, honey no, I don't have anything else. What were you thinking of anyway?
HER: (total freak out tantrum, screaming, crying, flailing etc)
ME: Well, I cannot help you while you are screaming I can't understand you, so you need to go do that screaming in the other room. As soon as you are ready and can talk to me again I'll be in the kitchen here eating dinner with daddy and your brother.
HER: she keeps it up for a good 8-10 minutes in the other room crumpled in the corner (self imposed cornering of herself)
Eventually gives up, stops, blows nose hugs me apologizes and sits down to eat. Doesn't want to talk about it, pretends like it never happened....
Eh, kids. They are, you know, kids. Totally normal.
Sometimes a glass of wine is all you can do with all that whining going on around you!
We had essentially the same experience last night. She asked for juice with dinner but we told her she needed to have milk. She lost it (her 2nd or 3rd of the day). I told her I couldn't talk to her or help her until she stopped crying. Probably 10 minutes of this, finally she asked me to put the milk and dinner in the kitchen. Fine with me, I said, but if you're not going to eat then you have to sit with us. And, my wife added, you get no more food the rest of the night. So she stopped screaming after we put away the milk and her dinner, sat at the table and proceeded to whisper to me that she was hungry. I bought her the dinner, then after a minute, she said she was thirsty. I bought her the milk that she refused and she drank all of it and then another glass.
She is sleeping less, her daily afternoon nap seems to be going away. The odd thing though is most of these tantrums seem to happen in the morning. And we often have to wake her for pre-school on Tues & Thurs, but that has been going on for 4 months now.
"Why don't you go to your room until you feel better."
They can have the tantrum, get it out of their system, cry, scream, flail around all they want.
In their room.
Without attention from anyone. No attention = no reward.
Let's face it, a tantrum is only fun where there's someone around to watch it.
She usually reaches a point where no matter what we tell her, she doesn't want it. I could say "would you like a pony?" and she would scream "DON'T WANT A PONY!" So that's the hard part...if we could tell her to go to her room and have her fit, that would be great. But there's no talking to her in the middle of these. She was having a fit the other night because we told her it was time for bed, so my wife & I, being exhausted, said fine, you don't have to go to bed, you can stay with us for a bit longer (we almost never give in, by the way, but we just were too tired to deal with this one). She screamed "DON'T WANT TO STAY WITH YOU A BIT LONGER!". So even though we were giving her exactly what she wanted she still kept it up.
I do think the audience thing is key...good to remember...
We had essentially the same experience last night. She asked for juice with dinner but we told her she needed to have milk. She lost it (her 2nd or 3rd of the day). I told her I couldn't talk to her or help her until she stopped crying. Probably 10 minutes of this, finally she asked me to put the milk and dinner in the kitchen. Fine with me, I said, but if you're not going to eat then you have to sit with us. And, my wife added, you get no more food the rest of the night. So she stopped screaming after we put away the milk and her dinner, sat at the table and proceeded to whisper to me that she was hungry. I bought her the dinner, then after a minute, she said she was thirsty. I bought her the milk that she refused and she drank all of it and then another glass.
She is sleeping less, her daily afternoon nap seems to be going away. The odd thing though is most of these tantrums seem to happen in the morning. And we often have to wake her for pre-school on Tues & Thurs, but that has been going on for 4 months now.
LOL! If I hadn't given birth to her I'd suggest they were TWINS!
Pretty normal I'm afraid...I'm going to guess the morning tantrums are whiny tired ones too.
I just dialed back my kids bedtimes by 20 minutes, we'll see how things are later tonight!
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