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I have a cousin that is at best a sociopath, at worst a psycopath. He started stealing at about 9, change from wallets, siblings toys. That progressed to checks, any money he could find, shoplifting, stealing from the neighbors. He stole and crashed his parents car at 11. He was expelled from school at 12 for punching the principal. He went to psychologists, psychiatrists, reform schools, trade schools, he spent a year at a working farm for troubled youth, and many more things. His parents did everything they could think of. At 17 they made him an emancipated minor, and disowned him. He could contact any family by phone, but not visit them, and he could visit my grandfather. My grandfather set up a bank account for him, and religiously deposited money into the account for years, the condition of my cousin having access to the account was that he go back to school and get his high school diploma. He never did. My cousin progressed to bank robbery, car theft, house burglary, and has spent most of his adult life in jail. He was poisonous to the family. He had 4 siblings, and the parents were unable to give them the attention they needed because they were always dealing with the problem child, and then there's the community response to having a child like that among the ther kids, etc. It is a very complicated situation to have a child who is a rotten apple. It's easy to say you'll love your kid no matter what, but whether or not you continue to enable them, or keep their in your home or life is really hard to predict.
I have a cousin that is at best a sociopath, at worst a psycopath. He started stealing at about 9, change from wallets, siblings toys. That progressed to checks, any money he could find, shoplifting, stealing from the neighbors. He stole and crashed his parents car at 11. He was expelled from school at 12 for punching the principal. He went to psychologists, psychiatrists, reform schools, trade schools, he spent a year at a working farm for troubled youth, and many more things. His parents did everything they could think of. At 17 they made him an emancipated minor, and disowned him. He could contact any family by phone, but not visit them, and he could visit my grandfather. My grandfather set up a bank account for him, and religiously deposited money into the account for years, the condition of my cousin having access to the account was that he go back to school and get his high school diploma. He never did. My cousin progressed to bank robbery, car theft, house burglary, and has spent most of his adult life in jail. He was poisonous to the family. He had 4 siblings, and the parents were unable to give them the attention they needed because they were always dealing with the problem child, and then there's the community response to having a child like that among the ther kids, etc. It is a very complicated situation to have a child who is a rotten apple. It's easy to say you'll love your kid no matter what, but whether or not you continue to enable them, or keep their in your home or life is really hard to predict.
Don't you think that's kind of sad in a way? Like people like him are sort of emotionally handicapped. It's like the worst thing that can be wrong with you.
Don't you think that's kind of sad in a way? Like people like him are sort of emotionally handicapped. It's like the worst thing that can be wrong with you.
It's terribly sad. It broke my aunt and uncle's heart. I don't think they knew what else to do to protect the other kids. Now it isn't really spoken about, my uncle recently passed away, and I wondered if his son even knew. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, that's just my own personal experience of something like this. I honestly have no idea what I'd do in a similar situation, I don't think anyone does until you are faced with it. When you look at your adorable 2 year old fast asleep, you can't comprehend the possibility of disowning them, but cases such as my cousins where there is obviously some serious psychological/psychiatric disturbance at play, and they are manipulative and destructive, it's a big difference.
Thank you. Yes, I sat in a comfy chair once a week for a couple of years and talked to a nice little man who had worked at a drug and alcohol facility in Harlem before he went into private practice. I was the poster child for codependency with oak leaf cluster. I could FIX everyone, don't you see?
I didn't want my daughter to be any more like me than I wanted her to be like her father.
That's very wise and self aware of you. But surely you mean in that respect only. She'd do well to be like you otherwise.
It's terribly sad. It broke my aunt and uncle's heart. I don't think they knew what else to do to protect the other kids. Now it isn't really spoken about, my uncle recently passed away, and I wondered if his son even knew. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, that's just my own personal experience of something like this. I honestly have no idea what I'd do in a similar situation, I don't think anyone does until you are faced with it. When you look at your adorable 2 year old fast asleep, you can't comprehend the possibility of disowning them, but cases such as my cousins where there is obviously some serious psychological/psychiatric disturbance at play, and they are manipulative and destructive, it's a big difference.
You are absolutely right. You can not comprehend yourself in this type of situation until you're there. I think what most people don't understand is that parents of a child like your cousin, do not disown immediately. You trust, believe their stories "I've change. I am so very sorry I've been so rotten...I can't believe I ever did such terrible things....if you never want to see me again, I will completely understand. I am begging for your forgiveness, even though I know, with all of my heart I don't deserve it." Then......BANG! It happens all over again.....life savings gone, car gone, prized antique coin collection gone, firearms.....you name it.
No, when they are your precious little "minor" children misbehaving, you can't possibly imagine something like that happening.....anything happening that would make you have to cut yourself off for your very survival.....but it does happen.
It's terribly sad. It broke my aunt and uncle's heart. I don't think they knew what else to do to protect the other kids. Now it isn't really spoken about, my uncle recently passed away, and I wondered if his son even knew. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, that's just my own personal experience of something like this. I honestly have no idea what I'd do in a similar situation, I don't think anyone does until you are faced with it. When you look at your adorable 2 year old fast asleep, you can't comprehend the possibility of disowning them, but cases such as my cousins where there is obviously some serious psychological/psychiatric disturbance at play, and they are manipulative and destructive, it's a big difference.
Do your aunt and uncle still love their child on some level?
Unconditional love doesnt' mean that we have to love everything a person does. You can love a person and hate their actions.
I don't understand this concept at all. People say it all of the time, but I don't know what it means. How do you know you love a person if you hate their actions? What is meant by "love" in this scenario?
Do your aunt and uncle still love their child on some level?
Yes I'm sure they do. They are very present in their other children's lives, and they are very loving people. It's terribly hard when you have a pathological liar or sociopath that you know is not going to, or can't change their behavior. How many chances do you give them?
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