Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
YOU are the one who has been ranting - through the entirety of this thread - about how spankers are uneducated, unenlightened, barbaric rubes. YOU are the one who has been trying relentlessly to cram your view down the throats of everyone else. YOU are the one who - though you have NO CHILDREN - is telling everyone else how to raise their kids.
See what happens when you don't swat your kids? Perhaps swats are like ECT, only on the other end and no electricity! It always seemed to jar MY kids back to their senses!
My cousins used to tell that when they were behaving badly, my uncle would have all three go outside and find their own switch. They all thought, cool, if they found little skinny switches they wouldn't hurt so much. Wrong. They all learned that thicker switches don't sting like skinny ones do. They all looked for the thicker ones.
Their father never hit in anger but did dicipline with a firm hand. All three of those boys grew up respectful, polite and kind men. All three raised kids the same way and their kids are successful, sweet young adults.
My brothers, sisters and I all were spanked. None of us beat our own children (although we all believe in spanking and exercise that as dicipline). Our kids are all well adjusted, happy and healthy.
I commend the OP as the intention was to find out the view on controversial subjects of a lifetime partner before getting involved.
Yeah that was the point. Before proceeding towards the next steps with a future potential partner, I would want to find out how he views certain subjects. Perhaps I might be too demanding but it's better finding out some things now then latter on when you invested too much on the relationship (only to find out, there are irreparable incompatibilities).
Would you rather date a man with bratty, disrespectful, ill mannered children? My kids have been spanked maybe 3 or 4 times each, so to this degree would not bother me. More than a few spanks for really dangerous and important infractions...no.
Would you rather date a man with bratty, disrespectful, ill mannered children? My kids have been spanked maybe 3 or 4 times each, so to this degree would not bother me. More than a few spanks for really dangerous and important infractions...no.
Nope I wouldn't even consider dating a man with children. I was stating about the man's views and concepts towards certain subjects.
Would you rather date a man with bratty, disrespectful, ill mannered children? My kids have been spanked maybe 3 or 4 times each, so to this degree would not bother me. More than a few spanks for really dangerous and important infractions...no.
Gentlearts,
It was the same here...and with the exception of my oldest, I only had to "reinforce" my authority a couple of times....when they were very small. It is amazing how the memory of "consequences" followed them through to their teens. I am a pretty laid back mom, but when I say no, I mean, NO!
I am blown away at how so many parents end up being screamers, threateners (with no follow through), arguers, emotional abusers, but they don't believe in spanking. After awhile, you can almost predict how things are going to go for those children when they get into school and back talk the teachers, argue with them, disobey them.....and then the behavior follows them into the workplace, where they can't be on time, miss work, can't follow direction, and have no respect for authority. Not all children are like that, but the majority of them.....yes.
It will only work if they actually believe it. In my case, on some occasions when my mother and I would argue she would always tried to instill the fear of god until one day in an anger outburst, I revealed that I was atheist.
I don't quite understand how is parenting correlated towards religion? I also don't comprehend what does having a certain religion or being god believer has to do with having good morals/values?
You misunderstand, that is an expression used to make a point. "instilling the fear of god can easily be replaced with the person in authority (parent). A very young child does no understand how respects works but they do understand what the difference beteween right and wrong with the proper guidance.
I used to think this way too (based on my father's violent rages and abuse), until I got an eyeful of the last few generations' worth of kids who were reared in the 'handle with kid gloves' style of parenting... spoiled, self-entitled brats who could've used a good swap on the butt (or 500) to drive home the meaning of 'NO'. So now I believe it's the manner in which you do it. Use it as a last resort and only for good reason. Don't beat your kid when they are upset because mommy & daddy are fighting all the time, or because they can't communicate that something is wrong. But do it to show them that you are in charge and you won't let them cross that line of disrespect. Do it when you're not in a rage, and don't use them as a punching bag to vent your frustrations.. because believe me, they will know that's what you're doing. Even dogs and wolves alpha roll their pups when they get out of control.
We have created a world of monsters who have no sense of right & wrong, work ethic, manners, etc. Many times when kids are screaming, they are merely screaming out for discipline and boundaries that they are NOT getting. And it's screwing them up big time! As bad as outright abuse or neglect, in a sense...
You misunderstand, that is an expression used to make a point. "instilling the fear of god can easily be replaced with the person in authority (parent). A very young child does no understand how respects works but they do understand what the difference beteween right and wrong with the proper guidance.
Thanks for rephrasing it but besides the actual fear being presented, wouldn't it be helpful too if they learned it by themselves instead of only avoiding behaviors because ''Oh if I do this mom/dad will smack me, etc'' rather than ''If I do this, I will disappoint them and it's wrong''.
At the same time, it's similar when asking several people why they would never cheat on their partners. I can guaranteed many don't proceed out of fear of getting caught but if the actual fear was absent, they would do it. That would be a very distorted way of rationalizing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Perhaps swats are like ECT, only on the other end and no electricity! It always seemed to jar MY kids back to their senses!
