Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't think it would be a good idea for you to adopt this child with your present attitude and especially there are so many folks who are desparate to adopt. Also adopting a family member's child can really affect the whole family dymanic. But it has been done if everybody is open and mature about the situation but it sounds to me you just don't want another child and you would not be doing your sister or her child any favor.
Let her make up her own mind. This is not "on you" whatever she decides.
I had a neighbor who refused to adopt her son's baby (kid was 17) for a whole list of reasons but mostly because she claimed they had been looking forward to retirement and did not want to raise another child at their "old" age of 46. I was standing there at age 55 with two infants adopted from Vietnam and wondered if she knew what she was saying. Eventually another family member adopted the child and it has been nothing but friction and rancor since the kid was born. Everybody has a different idea of how it should be raised, how often the young bio parents can see the child and how often and everybody now admits they should have let some non family member adopt the child.
After the initial shock of this news and the pressure you are self imposing, you will probably see that letting your sister take care of her own life is the best course of action. You do not owe it to her to adopt her child but I would think you would want to support her no matter what she decides. This is not an easy time for her and family members sitting in judgment is the last thing she needs.
I never said I wouldn't support her if she decided to go with abortion. She expressed to me her worries about having a baby and I tried to help her think about how to solve those problems. Like for instance she turned down health insurance at her job, but I did some research and she qualifies for Medicaid which would cover prenatal visits, L&D, and check-ups and vaccines afterward. She also expressed she doesn't have money but she has a Bachelor's degree, a job, you can find used baby items on Craigslist, etc, etc. And yes it is her decision but its hard for me to be unbiased considering I have a baby of my own.
I never said I wouldn't support her if she decided to go with abortion. She expressed to me her worries about having a baby and I tried to help her think about how to solve those problems. Like for instance she turned down health insurance at her job, but I did some research and she qualifies for Medicaid which would cover prenatal visits, L&D, and check-ups and vaccines afterward. She also expressed she doesn't have money but she has a Bachelor's degree, a job, you can find used baby items on Craigslist, etc, etc. And yes it is her decision but its hard for me to be unbiased considering I have a baby of my own.
Figures all the pro-choice people would come out of the wood work. How do I get a thread locked?
Did you expect everyone to agree with your hypocritical attitude? Sorry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by briannasmomma
I never said I wouldn't support her if she decided to go with abortion. She expressed to me her worries about having a baby and I tried to help her think about how to solve those problems. Like for instance she turned down health insurance at her job, but I did some research and she qualifies for Medicaid which would cover prenatal visits, L&D, and check-ups and vaccines afterward. She also expressed she doesn't have money but she has a Bachelor's degree, a job, you can find used baby items on Craigslist, etc, etc. And yes it is her decision but its hard for me to be unbiased considering I have a baby of my own.
Like someone already said, now you're changing your tune under the justifiable criticism you're receiving. This was not what you originally posted.
My sister is pregnant. She has given many selfish reasons to abort the baby, she refuses to put it up for adoption. This morning I wake up with a text from her asking if I would want to adopt her baby. I have one child (almost 2) and I wasn't planning on having anymore. I urged her to have this baby and now I feel she's turning it around on me...if I don't want to adopt her baby she will probably have an abortion. There are just a lot of questions that are running through my head like can we afford another one, we live in a small 2 bedroom apartment, will the Army cover this baby under health insurance, one question that really gets me is when/how do we explain that he/she was adopted and that his/her aunt is her biological mom? She said I can change my mind up until it is born. Now I think I am turning into the selfish one, thinking about the late nights and going through the toddler years again. But her baby is my niece or nephew and I think he or she deserves a chance at life. I don't know what to do.
Where in that paragraph does it say I wouldn't support her? I do not agree with abortion but I'm not going to turn my back on her if she decides that is what she wants to do. I feel that no matter what she decides it will affect her the rest of her life, whether she decides to abort, keep it, or give it up for adoption.
My sister is pregnant. She has given many selfish reasons to abort the baby, she refuses to put it up for adoption. This morning I wake up with a text from her asking if I would want to adopt her baby. I have one child (almost 2) and I wasn't planning on having anymore. I urged her to have this baby and now I feel she's turning it around on me...if I don't want to adopt her baby she will probably have an abortion. There are just a lot of questions that are running through my head like can we afford another one, we live in a small 2 bedroom apartment, will the Army cover this baby under health insurance, one question that really gets me is when/how do we explain that he/she was adopted and that his/her aunt is her biological mom? She said I can change my mind up until it is born. Now I think I am turning into the selfish one, thinking about the late nights and going through the toddler years again. But her baby is my niece or nephew and I think he or she deserves a chance at life. I don't know what to do.
Where in that paragraph does it say I wouldn't support her? I do not agree with abortion but I'm not going to turn my back on her if she decides that is what she wants to do. I feel that no matter what she decides it will affect her the rest of her life, whether she decides to abort, keep it, or give it up for adoption.
Sigh. Just by "urging" her not to have an abortion you are judging her at the very time in her life she needs unconditional love. Your statement of her "selfish" reasons to have an abortion (like you have any right to say if her reasons are good or not) clearly show your level of acceptance. You have bullied your sister to the point where she is now willing to have the baby and give it to you - and now you must put up or shut up. Having an abortion is one of the most difficult decisions anyone will ever make and only made harder by judgmental, opinionated, holier than thou people, like you.
Sigh. Just by "urging" her not to have an abortion you are judging her at the very time in her life she needs unconditional love. Your statement of her "selfish" reasons to have an abortion (like you have any right to say if her reasons are good or not) clearly show your level of acceptance. You have bullied your sister to the point where she is now willing to have the baby and give it to you - and now you must put up or shut up. Having an abortion is one of the most difficult decisions anyone will ever make and only made harder by judgmental, opinionated, holier than thou people, like you.
I never offered to adopt her baby. She asked if I would. She has asked her BF's opinion, my mom's and my dad's, I am not the only one who has given her advice.
Sorry you seem to be getting jumped here by everyone. I do understand where you're coming from and know you meant well and will support your sister no matter what. Maybe you can contact the mods to get this thread deleted.
Sorry you seem to be getting jumped here by everyone. I do understand where you're coming from and know you meant well and will support your sister no matter what. Maybe you can contact the mods to get this thread deleted.
Ultimately I am thinking of this baby and it was my intention to help my sister look at all of her options because abortion isn't the only answer. No matter what she decides will be hard. Anyway, how do you contact the mods? I looked over the whole site and can't figure out where to do that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
