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So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time. Anyways, we had a mixed race, older couple sitting behind my wife and a few booths past them was another younger couple and 3 or 4 kids. The kids were noisy, mainly one of them.. The whole time, this woman sitting behind my wife kept whining about how that kid has something wrong with him and he belongs in a boxing ring, not in a restaurant, she can't believe that people would bring their kids out to a restaurant....
So why is it that people without children don't think those of us with children, should be allowed to take them out in public? If you are annoyed by it, go to an adult establishment and you won't have any worries.
This is the 2nd time someone has opened their mouth, and the last time it was an older (in his 50s) guy sitting across from us in a restaurant and I very politely told him that he was more than welcome to leave, he met that with a foul look and then left. But what is with people, chinese fortune cookie tonight said "if you never speak ill about people, you never have to whisper"
Ok... I am going to start off by stating I am a PARENT of two children.... 5 and 7.... but I have to say I think there is a time and PLACE for kids to eat out. Also, I do not think AGE or RACE has anything to do with this opinion.... I am a WHITE FEMALE AGE 32...... I don't see what being part of a mixed race couple or being 50 has to do with wanting to enjoy a quiet dinner out....
If there is a child who is disruptive in a restaurant the parents should address it and make it stop.... or do not bring them out. If they cannot keep the child from misbehaving, being loud, throwing things on the floor every five seconds, screeching... so on and so forth..... they should keep their dining experiences to McDonalds or Friendly's.... something where children are welcome and expected.
If I am going to go out with my husband I do not want there to be children making a scene either....and remember I am 32 with two small kids of my own. I go out with my husband to enjoy our time with eachother....not put up with OTHER people's kids. Sorry, I would never let my kids act up in a restaurant.
I have been known to wait in the car with my children while my husband gets our food in take out containers and pays the bill because they were not acting appropriately. I do not see it a RIGHT for them to eat out if they can't handle it. I do not believe it is fair to those around me or the child who is obviously bored or uncomfortable. Better to take my food home, teach my kids they cannot behave in such a manner, and leave the rest of the dining room in peace to enjoy their meal......
If I am going to go out on a date with my husband I don't think it is cute for a baby to sit there and screech with giggles through the meal, to throw the napkin on the floor 50 million times, bang the fork on the table..... I am sorry.... I go out with my husband on a date to enjoy the evening.... not put up with other people's kids.....
I know I will get flack for this.... but that is alright- I changed the places I went out to eat with my kids- if the service is slow I don't bring them. If it is food they will not like I don't bring them. If the cost of the meal is a certain amount I do not bring them..... I think about the other people dining when I take them places. Also- I bring a bag of tricks- their games, my iPod with headphones and a show for them to watch if they finish early and get antsy.... books, coloring..... they don't sit there stacking the jelly and sugar packets..... banging fork and knives.... whining..... I can't stand when kids do that out and if my kids do it they know they will go home......
We just took our 4 month old out to lunch with us. This couple sat down about 4 tables from us, facing our table and were complaining about the fact that they were seated by a baby. They kept giving us dirty looks and finally ended up moving to another table.
The funny thing was, my daughter was in her carseat asleep the entire time. So these "adults" were acting more immature than my 4 month old. They got all in a tizzy over a baby sleeping in a carseat.
We just took our 4 month old out to lunch with us. This couple sat down about 4 tables from us, facing our table and were complaining about the fact that they were seated by a baby. They kept giving us dirty looks and finally ended up moving to another table.
The funny thing was, my daughter was in her carseat asleep the entire time. So these "adults" were acting more immature than my 4 month old. They got all in a tizzy over a baby sleeping in a carseat.
Kristine
Didn't you hear? Adults want to have their quite time and not be subjected to "looking" at babies.
Here is a happy medium.... just a suggestion to those with children who want to dine out....research the KIDS EAT FREE nights in your area.... a lot of restaurants will have one through the week.... I know I can get Asian Noodles on Thursday, Champ's on Tuesday (and they play disney movies and have a magician), A local casual bar is pay what they weigh on Wed.... anyway- decent restaurants that are NOT McDonalds and you can still get out for the night AND the whole restaurant will be filled with children....everybody knows it is full of kids that night and nobody is going to put up a stink on those days if there is noise.... For a while- make some adjustments until the kids are old enough to handle going out without fussing....
That is a great idea. It would be fun for the kids, too!
This got me thinking of a post on the forum of our local newspaper. It basically was in reply to a post telling "single moms" about a theatre that had a very inexpensive "mommy and me" matinee every Monday. The deal was you could bring even very tiny infants and kids up to 6 for free. I thought this sounded great for people with little kids....anyway, the reply that made me laugh was something like: "Yeah, I heard about that matinee. I went and it wasn't fun at all. It was so noisy you couldn't keep up with the dialogue! I'll just keep going to the regular showings. Since I'm the only one with a baby the noise level isn't too bad and she really doesn't cry except when their are loud explosions."
I KID YOU NOT!!!!!!! Funny, huh? Her spay-shul little un's name is probably Cre8tive!
We have a similar thing... for movies in the summer....and I am sure if you have a REGAL CINEMA you have the same deal.... FREE MOVIES through the week in the mornings of summer vacation! Just an FYI for those who want to take kids to a movie- they are a tad older but still... they get the movie experience without disrupting everyone with crying and screaming.....
I appreciate your sarcasm, but honestly we all know that couple asked to be re-seated away from the 4 month old is because they knew the odds of said baby sleeping quietly for 1 hour while they were trying to enjoy their meal/conversation were low. Very low.
The odds that the baby would awaken and scream are higher. Lots. Not the kids fault...that's what a 4 month old does.
The parents know that the 4 month old could wake up and start screaming. Or wake up and start "fussing" where there would then be the pleasure of hearing and seeing the parents make a huge deal of calming the baby. If it's McDonald's that's what you get. Nobody will give you the evil eye if the kid cries non-stop for hours. If it was a regular or nicer place... it does get people annoyed.
What about common sense?
Do you have a right to bring a 4 month old to a restaurant? Of course. But, if most people are expecting a rather quiet, relaxing lunch...and that would be MOST of the people in that restaurant...why bring a 4 month old in? At a fast food joint people won't give you the evil eye if the baby screams non-stop for 1 hour. But in most every other place, most people don't want to hear screaming, or see fussing, cheerios being tossed all over, etc.
I do think this is pretty new to our culture. The WWII generation (as a group) spoiled their kids, their kids grew up with bizarre egos that made them think their children were "special", those kids are now having babies and their inflated egos drive them to name the new crop goofus names (Madison, Bentley, Apple) and insert them in places that common sense tells you they do not belong.
So....keep on doing whatever you want. Bring the 4 month old to a decent restaurant and take delight in making people move to get away from you. Doesn't sound like much fun to me.
You assume that I:
#1. Do not know the temperment of my own child
#2. I do not know how to react or behave when my child starts fussing
My 4 month old is so laid back we can take her anywhere and she never puts up a stink. Even when she is awake, she just looks around and that is pretty much it. So I have no problem bringing her into anywhere because I know she will be fine. If she were my son, NO WAY would I have brought him in a restaurant at that age. He was unpredictible and a whole lot fussier. So I do have common sense when it comes to my kids.
If for some reason she did start fussing, I assure you that you would not see me or my DH making a "huge deal" over it. One of us would simply take her out while the other got the check. Is that such an issue for me.
I have a suggestion those who want to make sure they can have a nice quiet lunch with no kids.....stay home and eat there. Problem solved. So I guess I can use your common sense arguement against you.
I assume nothing about you personally. I've commented about the trend in our culture for parents, in general, to bring young kids to restaurants and let them be disruptive. The comments about the odds of a 4 month old waking and a general fuss ensuing stand.
Just a guess here, but the couple that asked to be re-seated has noticed this trend also.
It's clear that you don't like it when people see your group and ask for a different table. I know that if I was offered a table next to you, and the room had other like tables and it wasn't a problem for the hostess...I would politely ask for a different table. The people you encountered seemed very rude and unreasonable. I don't like rudeness on either side of this issue.
You know there are two sides. I think folks with disruptive kids should leave the scene. I always did when my kids were small and they learned how to behave that way. They liked going out and learned that they needed to behave in a restaurant in order to stay.
However, there are people that are ridiculous. I recently took my 13 and 15 year old sons out to lunch and someone asked to be seated at a table away from us. I am not sure what they were thinking that two TEENAGERS with their MOTHER (not a whole table of teens) were going to do that was so terrible.
BTW-It wasn't a really nice restaurant either. It was a diner.
You know there are two sides. I think folks with disruptive kids should leave the scene. I always did when my kids were small and they learned how to behave that way. They liked going out and learned that they needed to behave in a restaurant in order to stay.
However, there are people that are ridiculous. I recently took my 13 and 15 year old sons out to lunch and someone asked to be seated at a table away from us. I am not sure what they were thinking that two TEENAGERS with their MOTHER (not a whole table of teens) were going to do that was so terrible.
BTW-It wasn't a really nice restaurant either. It was a diner.
Ok... some people might be overly sensitive to people being moved to another table.... I am not trying to say the couple didn't move to be away from yours BUT... just to put it out there.... and I only choce this post because it was the last one I read about being moved so please don't take THIS personally.... Haven't you ever gone into a restaurant and been seated in a spot you just weren't comfortable? It had nothing to do with the people around you... but perhaps you noticed an intimate seat in the corner, a booth by the window, a booth instead of a table....
Understand what I am getting at? People might just be taking the MOVE personally and it might be something as simple as they liked the other table better for some other reason...... I know I have done it...... and it has been misread with a different meaning.... A friend and I were in a restaurant with our kids and the sun was glaring in directly at our table... I have migraines and am light sensitive- so we asked to be moved to a different seat. There was a group of "Goth" alternative peole in their early 20s... I would say college art students (having been one myself they fit the stereotype).... well when we moved they made comments about how we felt uncomfortable sitting by them....and were actually quite offended- like we didn't like the peircings or something.... I just ignored it and moved to the darker seat.... But do you understand what I am getting at? This group was quite offended we moved away from them but our move had nothing at all to do with their appearences.... I just didn't want another migraine......
So, if your children are behaving beautifully.... like model children in a dining establishment.... I wouldn't worry about other diners around me.... and most of the time they won't worry about you if your kids are doing what they should be then they probably are moving for a different reason.... OR, as is their right, they just want to be away from kids because they have kids and want to be kid free.... what is the problem with that? Why take other's wants personally? Does it HURT you physically? Effect you auditorily? Make you ill? If it is none of the above then I wouldn't worry about it.... because it is all mental and can be ignored.....
If your child is being a perfect angel then the move is probably for a different reason..... If it is because of your child... why take it personally? you don't know these people and they have a right to move.... whatever their reasoning..... Sorry, but this seems silly.....
I agree that you never really know why someone is changing tables. It may have nothing to do with you or your kids. I will admit though that I do, very politely and quietly ask to change tables if they are empty and I am next to someone with small kids. For me though it has less to do with noise, although I admit screaming kids drive me insane, and more to do with the fact that I always have the worst luck of ending up next to a kid who just blew up their diaper. Nothing worse than trying to eat with a stinkbomb a few feet away lol.
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Does it HURT you physically? Effect you auditorily? Make you ill? If it is none of the above then I wouldn't worry about it.... because it is all mental and can be ignored..... 