What is wrong with people? (teaching, daughters, 2 year old, natural)
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In order for children to learn to behave in restaurants, or public, the child needs to experience going out so they learn. I have taken our 2 year old grand child out and been complimented how well behaved she is; her mother has taken her out and had to take her to the car as she was misbehaving.
I have seen adults talking loudly on their cell phones in restaurants, drinking and misbehaving also. I think some people need to learn tolerance.
I didn't get from this thread that the majority of people don't think kids should be taken out to restaurants. The gist I've gotten is that people believe that if children are misbehaving in a restaurant, the parents should address that behavior and not allow it to continue.
More often than not, when I dine out and sit next to kids, you'd never know they are there unless they laugh and talk and whatever and that is not irritating at all to me. It's the arguing, screaming and throwing things, running around the table that goes on that is irritating. I don't think it's too much to expect parents to intervene when this kind of stuff goes on.
People should not be expected to tolerate rudeness. Yes, there are plenty of adults who act like fools, talking loud and being idiots at movies and restaurants but that's not what this thread was about.
So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time. Anyways, we had a mixed race, older couple sitting behind my wife and a few booths past them was another younger couple and 3 or 4 kids. The kids were noisy, mainly one of them.. The whole time, this woman sitting behind my wife kept whining about how that kid has something wrong with him and he belongs in a boxing ring, not in a restaurant, she can't believe that people would bring their kids out to a restaurant....
So why is it that people without children don't think those of us with children, should be allowed to take them out in public? If you are annoyed by it, go to an adult establishment and you won't have any worries.
This is the 2nd time someone has opened their mouth, and the last time it was an older (in his 50s) guy sitting across from us in a restaurant and I very politely told him that he was more than welcome to leave, he met that with a foul look and then left. But what is with people, chinese fortune cookie tonight said "if you never speak ill about people, you never have to whisper"
Its the Parents responsibility to teach and keep their young children in public , well behaved and disciplined. If that isnt occuring because the kids are too rebellious or because the Parents could care less, then go to the driveup window at a fast food place where you can all sit in the car and act as you like. They key word is Consideration and Respect inside public eating places --- its what makes for a well functioning civilized society. If families cant get with the program, then get a baby sitter and have a date night . Is that asking too much ?
Today that kind of social awareness, courtesy, and consideration seem to have disappeared and signs of a "polite society" are becoming fewer and further between. People think about themselves more than the comfort of those immediately surrounding them.
Since this has apparently happened to you twice now and you don't seem to "get it" then what I am pointing out is likely lost on you and your wife.
Sad, really, that people today are so self-centered.
Very much agree. I also notice how the OP titled the thread as "What is wrong with people?" - demonstrating his belief that the problem lies with other people and not within himself and his family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
Because most kids behave like baboons in public.
On Thanksgiving this year, we went out to a fairly nice place. Not a $50 a plate place, but a place where you get a little dressed up (especially for Thanksgiving), and try to act like you have some half-way decent manners.
Well, the kid behind my husband was a monster. He could not sit in his chair for five minutes without jumping around. His parents did not discipline him at all. About 20 minutes into dinner, the boy behind my husband was leaning on the table with both of his elbows and his feet were up on the back of his chair, and one of them slipped off and hit my husband hard in the back of his head. Needless to say, dinner was ruined.
I don't understand why PARENTS think that they have the right to ruin other people's dinner by bringing loud, obnoxious and misbehaving children to restaurants. We pay good money to enjoy a meal out in a quiet, enjoyable atmosphere and we do NOT wish to have it ruined by someone who does not discipline their children.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been at a restaurant and had some small child either throwing food, or screaming or running amok around the place. When we go into a restaurant and the waitress asks us "smoking or non-smoking" we always answer "the NO KID SECTION PLEASE". They usually laugh and nod their head in agreement because since they work there, they have seen it all.
If your children are well-behaved, then good for you. You should be just as angry and upset as we are at people whose baboon children ruin the enjoyment for everyone. YOU should be the first to speak up and give disapproving looks when you see poorly behaved kids. They make everybody's kids look bad.
Best post I've seen on this topic! When I was raising our kids, I would never bring them to a restaurant if they didn't know how to behave. However, we taught them at a very early age about behavior in public dining.
I've been to too many places and have seen where kids act uncontrollable and the parents sit there and do nothing -- as if we, paying patrons want to put up with that nonsense. Yes, I am one of these folks that, when led to a table next to a family with a bunch of kids (and already hearing the screaming and seeing the bread thrown on the floor), do ask for another table, as far away as possible. As a paying customer I am entitled to a certain environment when I am eating.
So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time. Anyways, we had a mixed race, older couple sitting behind my wife and a few booths past them was another younger couple and 3 or 4 kids. The kids were noisy, mainly one of them.. The whole time, this woman sitting behind my wife kept whining about how that kid has something wrong with him and he belongs in a boxing ring, not in a restaurant, she can't believe that people would bring their kids out to a restaurant....
So why is it that people without children don't think those of us with children, should be allowed to take them out in public? If you are annoyed by it, go to an adult establishment and you won't have any worries.
This is the 2nd time someone has opened their mouth, and the last time it was an older (in his 50s) guy sitting across from us in a restaurant and I very politely told him that he was more than welcome to leave, he met that with a foul look and then left. But what is with people, chinese fortune cookie tonight said "if you never speak ill about people, you never have to whisper"
Kids are tough.
They have melt downs at the most inappropriate times. They say things at the most inappropriate times. Things like, "He's pregnant, look at his belly." or "I farted." Or after meeting an Indian woman for the first time, "You look like chocolate. I love chocolate!" You just want to crawl under a rock. And I don't care how carefully you plan, something out of somewhere is going to happen.
I took my (then) five year old to a chain restaurant steak house, early in the day. With kids, you have this limited time frame to maneuver. If they don't eat by a certain time, it is all over but the crying. You can only hit one or two stores or they are overwhelmed. I had one day off and I didn't want to hit a fast food joint. We were running on limited time. I had taken him there before and everything was fine-and he lost it. I had already put our order in and the waitress came by and I told her you have to make it to go. He isn't going to make it. I was humiliated beyond repair.
It is almost a no win situation. They have to be socialized and they need to gain experience. And at 2 and 3, it is a crap shoot (sleepy/hungry/potty/attention/physical pain/exploration). It sounds as if they are so close in age and so young that they are either going to follow what the other one does and/or need any of those things at different times. That will wear you out. The last thing you need is a bunch of twits zoning in on you. Its called the OMG, I couldn't be more humiliated and when I am not paying attention to 20 different things and if I don't pass out at the end of the night I just might be, and I don't need your crap on top of it.
One of the things that I looked for are restaurants that advertise "family dining". These people know that they are going to have families come in. They know that you are going to have crumbs on the table and the floor. They know that your going to have to go the restroom for some correction possibly once, maybe twice. Most of the people are aware enough to recognize that you are playing that line between losing your cool in public and well........kids.
I am pretty sure that you don't have Bebe's kids. I bet that they are just 2 and 3 and I bet they act as good as gold........for 2 and 3. I would continue to try to socialize them at low end family restaurants. I would guesstimate the time it takes for food to arrive and bring activities to engage them in. I might plan a "special dinner date" with one parent and the 3 year old and make it a dress up dinner. Or practice at home with a special event. Call the restaurant ahead of time, find the least busiest time. The two year old will look up to the 3 year old.
BUT, if your doing all of that anyway and they aren't running in the aisles, your in a "family style restaurant", yadayadayada........screw 'em. They won't learn without experience. Now, you start hitting 18/21 bucks is lowest price (moderate) on the menu........its a whole 'nother game. Because those are "special occasions" for many others. This is their high end. Those outings are a once in while "treat".
So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time. Anyways, we had a mixed race, older couple sitting behind my wife and a few booths past them was another younger couple and 3 or 4 kids. The kids were noisy, mainly one of them.. The whole time, this woman sitting behind my wife kept whining about how that kid has something wrong with him and he belongs in a boxing ring, not in a restaurant, she can't believe that people would bring their kids out to a restaurant....
Thank you for encouraging YOUR children to be well-behaved. Unfortunately, there are still way too many parents who do not feel that this is important
So why is it that people without children don't think those of us with children, should be allowed to take them out in public? If you are annoyed by it, go to an adult establishment and you won't have any worries.
This is the 2nd time someone has opened their mouth, and the last time it was an older (in his 50s) guy sitting across from us in a restaurant and I very politely told him that he was more than welcome to leave, he met that with a foul look and then left. But what is with people, chinese fortune cookie tonight said "if you never speak ill about people, you never have to whisper"
Thank you for encouraging your children to be well behaved. Unfortunately, I think this practice is becoming less and less common. I waited tables all through college and continued to do so as a second job for many years after that, 20+ years in total. I have seen it all.
There is a big difference between restless children who get fidgety and children who are permitted or even encouraged to runs laps around a restaurant, scream and bang their cups and silverware on the table, throw food at other customers, empty every sugar packet onto the table (for the waitress to clean up, of course) etc. Or the server brings a child a "child's" cup (with a secured lid) and then the parent(s) beam with pride while the child eagerly pries off the lid and hurls the drink everywhere (also for the waitress to clean up.) Once, at an Italian restaurant, there were parents who sat and did nothing while their child went around to each table and licked the top of every Parmesan cheese shaker in the place. I've actually had parents ask me, "Where would be the best place for us to sit, because my children like to have room to run around?" I notice a growing trend with adults who actually chase their kids around the restaurant. They've have already paid, but spend fifteen minutes running around and screaming "C'mon Bobby Boo! Time to go!!!!!!!!!!" And it does NOT matter what kind of restaurant it is. There is no "adult" establishment that is immune from the horror. This is when I like to insert the OP's question: What is wrong with people?
A restaurant is not a playground. This is a matter of courtesy AND safety. When people are carrying around trays of liquids, hot foods, glassware, knives, etc. it is best to remain seated. I've seen children cause more restaurant accidents that you can possibly imagine, some of which have resulted in serious injury. Where were the parents? Chatting away and letting their kids run around.
Can we start a new thread about unsupervised children who get those "shopper in training" carts in the grocery store and run into other customers and store displays?
That was one of the reasons I moved to Utah, no one complains about kids. We are outnumbered here so we can't anger the kids. :-)
HA! there's truth to that... My kids act like caffeinated chimpanezees in a bananna factory whenever we go to a restaurant here in UT... and no one has ever said a word to us.
They have melt downs at the most inappropriate times. They say things at the most inappropriate times. Things like, "He's pregnant, look at his belly." or "I farted." Or after meeting an Indian woman for the first time, "You look like chocolate. I love chocolate!" You just want to crawl under a rock. And I don't care how carefully you plan, something out of somewhere is going to happen.
I took my (then) five year old to a chain restaurant steak house, early in the day. With kids, you have this limited time frame to maneuver. If they don't eat by a certain time, it is all over but the crying. You can only hit one or two stores or they are overwhelmed. I had one day off and I didn't want to hit a fast food joint. We were running on limited time. I had taken him there before and everything was fine-and he lost it. I had already put our order in and the waitress came by and I told her you have to make it to go. He isn't going to make it. I was humiliated beyond repair.
It is almost a no win situation. They have to be socialized and they need to gain experience. And at 2 and 3, it is a crap shoot (sleepy/hungry/potty/attention/physical pain/exploration). It sounds as if they are so close in age and so young that they are either going to follow what the other one does and/or need any of those things at different times. That will wear you out. The last thing you need is a bunch of twits zoning in on you. Its called the OMG, I couldn't be more humiliated and when I am not paying attention to 20 different things and if I don't pass out at the end of the night I just might be, and I don't need your crap on top of it.
One of the things that I looked for are restaurants that advertise "family dining". These people know that they are going to have families come in. They know that you are going to have crumbs on the table and the floor. They know that your going to have to go the restroom for some correction possibly once, maybe twice. Most of the people are aware enough to recognize that you are playing that line between losing your cool in public and well........kids.
I am pretty sure that you don't have Bebe's kids. I bet that they are just 2 and 3 and I bet they act as good as gold........for 2 and 3. I would continue to try to socialize them at low end family restaurants. I would guesstimate the time it takes for food to arrive and bring activities to engage them in. I might plan a "special dinner date" with one parent and the 3 year old and make it a dress up dinner. Or practice at home with a special event. Call the restaurant ahead of time, find the least busiest time. The two year old will look up to the 3 year old.
BUT, if your doing all of that anyway and they aren't running in the aisles, your in a "family style restaurant", yadayadayada........screw 'em. They won't learn without experience. Now, you start hitting 18/21 bucks is lowest price (moderate) on the menu........its a whole 'nother game. Because those are "special occasions" for many others. This is their high end. Those outings are a once in while "treat".
This is a really great post, one that I definitely identify with. Kids aren't robots - they're little human beings in the "probie" stage of their life. They make a great number of mistakes and do not have the attention span and immediate learning capacity of an adult. Nobody but their own parents know what their limits are, and smart parents work around those limits as much as possible, not just for the good of a crowded grocery store or a restaurant full of strangers, but for their OWN sanity.
A growing number of parents however definitely subscribe to the "let Dick and Jane be their own little people and learn the world at their own pace" philosophy. I'm not necessarily against that principle, but I think it takes kids a lot longer to assimilate to "real life" when allowed too much rope to explore and parents too reluctant to pull that rope back in when needed. As a result, people who encounter kids like this out in public are rightfully annoyed by their wild behavior and lack of parental response to it.
Yesterday my husband and I went out to lunch and to a museum here in Austin. The museum was packed with fourth-grade children from several different classes taking a field trip. We bought tickets to a movie showing in the museum and as we got into line realized that we were going to share the theatre with about 100 small kids who were in line with chaperones in front of us. I admit - we both kind of sighed at each other with the thought "great - so much for enjoying THIS film". I'm certain a couple parents could read our thoughts, as silent as they were. We were pleasantly surprised however to find that as the curtain went down, the children hushed in unison and were extremely well-behaved and quiet throughout the movie. What I get out of that is 1) as we get older and have our young child-rearing days behind us, we do tend to become a little less tolerant of little ones, probably a combination of parental burnout AND too much exposure to kids who aren't taught manners and 2) there are still a LOT of really well-behaved kids being brought up with manners.
I didn't get from this thread that the majority of people don't think kids should be taken out to restaurants. The gist I've gotten is that people believe that if children are misbehaving in a restaurant, the parents should address that behavior and not allow it to continue.
More often than not, when I dine out and sit next to kids, you'd never know they are there unless they laugh and talk and whatever and that is not irritating at all to me. It's the arguing, screaming and throwing things, running around the table that goes on that is irritating. I don't think it's too much to expect parents to intervene when this kind of stuff goes on.
People should not be expected to tolerate rudeness. Yes, there are plenty of adults who act like fools, talking loud and being idiots at movies and restaurants but that's not what this thread was about.
That's exactly right.
Just last night my wife & I went to Taco Johns on our Thursday Hot Date Night (Yeah, we're high rollers. We splurged & split a churro for dessert. Our bill was $7.83.).
Not too far from us, there was a Native American family with 3-4 young kids. The kids were beautiful. Good as gold. One heckuva lot less annoying than the middle-aged couple behind us that was arguing the whole time.
Speaking of rude, though... Has anyone else ever noticed how some families, with kids, will leave a restaurant and their table looks like a war zone? I mean, crap all over everywhere. Plates, food, napkins, and silverware on the floor. Chairs tipped over.
I've often wondered if these people live like that at home. Then I'm frightened to think that they probably do.
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I have gotten more shin bruises.......grrrr!