Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think the OP is being very smart putting his thoughts in words and leaving it for his parents. It is something he needs to get off his chest. This is good for them to read and digest instead of a confrontation right away. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
Message to the OP. Some people are born with one leg or one arm and they have to overcome their hardships.I have to say that what you are going through is worse.Consider your self a prisoner of war.You can survive your parents,...you must.Eat the food they provide,use the shelter they provide,bring your grades up.Feel sorry for and pity your parents,and never mention this.Don't feel sorry for or pity yourself.You will survive them.
It is extremely rough that the people who are supposed to support and nurture you are,.....obviously mentally challenged.You must overcome them because,.....you must.Your brothers will stumble and fall and i've got a hunnerd on one of them ending up in the pokie.Survive these people and you will never be anything but a sucess.If thats what you want.Think of the youth around the world.No family,education or future hope.
I was trying to avoid saying what phallus heads they are,....but i couldn't help myself.They are.Please survive and don't become one yourself.You are going places.Keep focus and avoid contact or talking with them as much as possible.
You must survive and overcome.They are not burning you with butts or beating you to death.They are trying to beat you down mentally.Pity them,zip your lip and overcome.Don't waste time trying to figure out why they are scewed up.Sorry dude.You must overcome this though.I know you can.Peace.
I can relate as I had one parent who sucked because of substance abuse problems. Which affected my other parent as well as the whole family.
BUT, could it be that your parents just do not feel you are ready or mature enough to go away to school. You did say you were on meds, maybe they feel you are not mature enough to deal with that on your own.
I would make it a point to mentally prepare yourself to be independent as soon as you can and start doing things on your own and following through as much as possible. It will prove that you have a good attitude to them, and it will be good training for college. College is really HARD but you can do it.
good luck.
If they still don't "get it" - then just realize that you are just gonna be on your own. - if not financially, then emotionally. Sometimes friends can be closer than family, and remember that through life - try to surround yourself with good people.
You are still going to need money and stuff from them it sounds like. Do you have a job? If not, then maybe you should get one as long as it does not affect your grades. It would be good for you!!
Okay, well, it didn't go that bad really. I showed them the paper and my mom was like "I don't understand." Then she started talking about how she doesn't understand why I need their approval so much, or why I even care what they think, and how they want me to want to do good for myself, despite them, and that was her number 1 concern with me because she thinks I am too "co-dependent" on others for happiness. My dad said that he actually yells more at my brothers than at me, but I just don't see it because I'm not at their practice. And I promised to try to get along better with them instead of just "avoiding" them all together. My mom came in later on last night and we started talking like there was nothing wrong, so apparently it did help somewhat. She also did say something that I'll admit I forgot- she was the one who helped me get on the school newspaper, and she said she was hurt that I forgot that. I felt like such a jerk after she told me that, haha. :/ But, it's okay now. We'll just have to work together, and I will try to be more talkative with them instead of just saying things like "Okay." or "hi."
I dunno. They did have a point about wanting to do good and be a success for myself, not them. Thanks for all the help guys =]
I'm so glad to hear that you were able to talk with them. Keep those lines of communication open.
Never feel like a jerk for having feelings. Some of the things they said to you were very hurtful. I'm glad they had a chance to read how you felt.
I'd just like to point out one thing. If your parents want you to be independent, they should want you to live at a dorm while in college. You're not going to learn to be independent of them by living at home for four more years. That might be a good point for you to bring up if they ever say that you can't live in a dorm. Also get a clear understanding from them about their grade expectations so you aren't feeling like your grades will never be good enough. You don't want to go off to school with unnecessary stress---thinking they expect more of you than they really do.
I was reading an article of an interview between Bill Gates and his father. Bill was talking about when he went through a period of not getting along with his parents when he was a teen. He said that someone told him that most parents are on their teen's side---that teens often don't realize it. He said that once he started viewing them as supportive and concerned, his attitude improved and he got along with them better.
Okay, well, it didn't go that bad really. I showed them the paper and my mom was like "I don't understand." Then she started talking about how she doesn't understand why I need their approval so much, or why I even care what they think, and how they want me to want to do good for myself, despite them, and that was her number 1 concern with me because she thinks I am too "co-dependent" on others for happiness. My dad said that he actually yells more at my brothers than at me, but I just don't see it because I'm not at their practice. And I promised to try to get along better with them instead of just "avoiding" them all together. My mom came in later on last night and we started talking like there was nothing wrong, so apparently it did help somewhat. She also did say something that I'll admit I forgot- she was the one who helped me get on the school newspaper, and she said she was hurt that I forgot that. I felt like such a jerk after she told me that, haha. :/ But, it's okay now. We'll just have to work together, and I will try to be more talkative with them instead of just saying things like "Okay." or "hi."
I dunno. They did have a point about wanting to do good and be a success for myself, not them. Thanks for all the help guys =]
Here's a big lesson you can use for the rest of your life - never assume you think you know what someone else is thinking
You have to remember to communicate with the people you love and let them tell you what they are thinking, okay?
Glad you got somewhere with your mom and that you took a chance by sharing your writing with her - way to go!
Untamed, irrespective of how they appear to you now, you will find completely different parents in your 20s.
In your 20s, you will laugh about it. Laugh more when you get older.
I remember the times my father caned me. I hated it back then. I simply love it now. I'm smiling as I type. I even proudly tell people of my strict upbringing, coz the man everyone sees today was crafted with several years of incredible parenting.
There should absolutely be no animosity towards parents, unless they're horrible ones addicted to drugs and alcohol.
P.S: My father never caned my brother, EVER. When my father died, my brother was in the midst of his grad school and was struggling already. And I comfortably stepped in, cashing in several grand for his final years. He mused once that my father never died, but is living inside me. All those years of caning and screaming, I guess my Dad wanted me to carry his legacy. The eldest must carry responsibilities.
You're the eldest. Try to be the leader of the pack. They'll follow you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
