How do you afford a baby?? (out of control, pills, daughters, childhood)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Oh yes, I'm COMPLETELY on board with waiting to have children. Luckily I am still young (student loan payments will be finished before I'm 25, woo-hoo!) All I meant by my whole post is all the people in this thread who have said things like "there's no way anyone is ever financially ready" or "just adjust your life a bit, you'll find ways to afford them" are being a bit overly simplistic.
I'm glad to hear that you are putting a plan into place. I am not, nor will I ever be one of those people who will advise someone to just go ahead and have kids because things will work out. I don't think you have to be wealthy to have children but I am very much against someone bringing a child into the world without health insurance, without a safe place to live, without having money for basic necessities. There are lots of ways to cut back but you don't have the right to subject an innocent kid to things like having to sleep on the floor so that if there's gunfire, they won't be near a window. That's totally ridiculous.
I used to work for the government too (I'm assuming you fall into that workforce as you are in DC and in defense contracting and IT), so perhaps you will get a few step promotions before you have kids so that you can have a little more room financially. You are still young and kids don't even need to be discussed yet for another 5 or so years anyway. It sounds like you are working on putting some pieces together so that you can live in a different location or get a better job and that's great. I am a big fan of personal responsibility and making changes if you don't like something about your life.
I apologize for lumping you into the group who does nothing but complain...it doesn't sound like that's the case for you and you aren't going to regret it. I am a firm believer in enjoying your 20s and then getting your act together for your 30s.
I hate when people do that. I am a military spouse as well as a mom, and I get all sorts of suggestions from well-meaning, but uninformed, people.
I have been told to look into: family day care, teaching, nursing,and real estate. Of those 4, the only one that has any connection to my talents and interests was nursing.
And what is hilarious about the suggestions is that the "flexibility" is false. For instance, I would never drag day care kids around to errands or dr. appts. I could give more details on the others but I am sure most moms here can figure them out.
I hate hearing that too! "just get a job at the school your kids go to." right. so easy to do and something I have zero interest in doing. Nice in theory but not in reality.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to get a job at the kids schools around here. there is a huge waiting list - I have tried for years - mostly there is a five year wait rule - by then your kids are out of the school.
Except for lunch monitors which makes $9 an hour and you only work 2 hours a day. Not a big amount of money.
5. They are frugal people who know how to live within their means, stick to a budget, save money and live simply.
(That's us!)
It's a lot easier to not spend money than many people think. It's just a mindset, and a changing of habits. You can live without cable TV. Yes, even with kids and a husband. You can live without Netflix. You can live without brand new clothes. You can live without fast food and prepackaged/prepared foods. You can eat less. You can drink water out of the tap. You can give up expensive soda and junk drinks and junk foods. You can eat better on less money. You can have fun for free. You can say no to your kids when they ask for things they they want but don't need. You can save up to pay cash for things rather than charging them on the card and paying additional interest on (or making a sudden impulse buy - and going off your budget). You don't have to go to the salon for expensive hair/nail/skin treatments. You don't have to smoke. You don't have to drink alcohol. You don't have to clean your house with expensive cleaners. (Vinegar, soap, baking soda, and lemons are cheap - and you don't need all the latest cleaning gadgets - a rag or sponge works just as good!) You can buy the $1.97 bottle of shampoo instead of the $4 or $5 or more $$$ bottles. You can wash your car yourself at home instead of going through the pay ones. You can adjust your heating/cooling to save a few cents a day (those cents add up). You can wear less makeup or go without it (depending on your job, I suppose...). You can grow some of your own veggies from seed - even just a few in containers if all you have is a small balcony. (We grew so much broccoli in containers on our balcony that we had to give it away. Carrots, jalapenos, bell peppers and tomatoes, too. A pack of seeds is just about a dollar and grows tons of food.) You can grow food in your yard (if you have one) instead of grass or other landscaping (non-food) plants. If you're lucky you can have chickens, too, for delicious eggs. You can pay cash for a used car rather than have a car payment. You can ride your bike or walk more rather than drive all the time. You can barter and trade with friends and neighbors. You can DIY rather than put your money in someone else's pockets.
I could keep going... there are books about living simply and frugal living at the library. They are worth checking out (for free). Lots of websites on the subject, too. It's not about depriving yourself of anything. It's about living a better, more simple, life - while at the same time having more money in the bank rather than spending it all and living paycheck to paycheck like so many Americans seem to do. It's a comforting practice to learn and keep.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to get a job at the kids schools around here. there is a huge waiting list - I have tried for years - mostly there is a five year wait rule - by then your kids are out of the school.
Except for lunch monitors which makes $9 an hour and you only work 2 hours a day. Not a big amount of money.
You might already do this - but I've been offered jobs at my kids schools over the years several times. I'm up at the kids schools almost daily volunteering, so people know me and my abilities. If you aren't up there all the time already, maybe try to volunteer more and find ways to make yourself useful. I was recently offered a job in the front office but I turned it down. (I don't want to work until our youngest is in middle school.) In the past I've also been offered positions as an IA helping with the special needs kids (basically guiding them to and from various classrooms and sitting with them through lunch, etc - this job paid $16/hour) as well as part-time work. Volunteering sort of gets your foot in the door, because you build relationships with the staff, principal, and teachers. Having a degree or at least some college helps, too. You might already know or have done all this so I apologize if I'm butting in.
It's a lot easier to not spend money than many people think. It's just a mindset, and a changing of habits. You can live without cable TV. Yes, even with kids and a husband. You can live without Netflix. You can live without brand new clothes. You can live without fast food and prepackaged/prepared foods. You can eat less. You can drink water out of the tap. You can give up expensive soda and junk drinks and junk foods. You can eat better on less money. You can have fun for free. You can say no to your kids when they ask for things they they want but don't need. You can save up to pay cash for things rather than charging them on the card and paying additional interest on (or making a sudden impulse buy - and going off your budget). You don't have to go to the salon for expensive hair/nail/skin treatments. You don't have to smoke. You don't have to drink alcohol. You don't have to clean your house with expensive cleaners. (Vinegar, soap, baking soda, and lemons are cheap - and you don't need all the latest cleaning gadgets - a rag or sponge works just as good!) You can buy the $1.97 bottle of shampoo instead of the $4 or $5 or more $$$ bottles. You can wash your car yourself at home instead of going through the pay ones. You can adjust your heating/cooling to save a few cents a day (those cents add up). You can wear less makeup or go without it (depending on your job, I suppose...). You can grow some of your own veggies from seed - even just a few in containers if all you have is a small balcony. (We grew so much broccoli in containers on our balcony that we had to give it away. Carrots, jalapenos, bell peppers and tomatoes, too. A pack of seeds is just about a dollar and grows tons of food.) You can grow food in your yard (if you have one) instead of grass or other landscaping (non-food) plants. If you're lucky you can have chickens, too, for delicious eggs. You can pay cash for a used car rather than have a car payment. You can ride your bike or walk more rather than drive all the time. You can barter and trade with friends and neighbors. You can DIY rather than put your money in someone else's pockets.
I could keep going... there are books about living simply and frugal living at the library. They are worth checking out (for free). Lots of websites on the subject, too. It's not about depriving yourself of anything. It's about living a better, more simple, life - while at the same time having more money in the bank rather than spending it all and living paycheck to paycheck like so many Americans seem to do. It's a comforting practice to learn and keep.
This is us as well. If people only knew how little money comes into this house they'd be amazed that we can live just fine on it!
This is us as well. If people only knew how little money comes into this house they'd be amazed that we can live just fine on it!
Debt-to-income ratio applies to everyone, whether they're making $500K per year or $30K per year. Everything between those two should be different, from their homes to their cars to their clothes. Once you accept that you will have to make cuts and lifestyle adjustments, it's much easier to live on what you make. It's the people who want to live like they're rich and refuse to consider a smaller place or a longer commute or buying a purse at Target who have the hardest time with this idea. Everyone just has to do that math. What you MUST pay (rent/mortgage, food, elecricity, etc) subtracted from what you make equals what you can spend on other stuff. If you don't make enough to afford the necessities, you have to get a different job or make a dramatic change like moving somewhere less expensive. Very few people "have it all"...even the rich.
This is us as well. If people only knew how little money comes into this house they'd be amazed that we can live just fine on it!
Yes, this is us too! It's not impossible to live on one modest income.... people just THINK it's impossible, because they want to live like the people on TV!
I think it is easier to live on less than many people think, but at the same time this does vary greatly by location; the necessities of life simply cost far more in some places, and the salaries don't always make up for that difference. And in today's economy the "move somewhere else" option isn't always avaiilable. And the move farther out and take on a longer commute is getting some people in trouble, too; there was a story somewhere recently (NYT? NPR?) about all the foreclosures in locations far away from job centers. Many of the owners in question had moved there for cheap housing, but then got hit with rising gas prices.
All that said, I do agree that people can and should be willing to make lifestyle cuts if necessary. The real problem comes for the people who have already made all the easy and many of the hard cuts and are still feeling the pressure. For many people there's only so low you can go on housing or insurance costs, and those take up an increasingly large piece of the expenditure pie for many American families.
Yes, this is us too! It's not impossible to live on one modest income.... people just THINK it's impossible, because they want to live like the people on TV!
Or maybe they want to live in a safe, or at least not outright dangerous neighborhood, and want to be able to afford healthcare for their children. You can't do that on one modest income in many places, even if you're willing to squash into a small apartment, go without a car, and follow all the other frugal living tips.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.