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Old 03-07-2010, 11:50 AM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,016,817 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Most places don't offer "mental health days" off -- I think only California does. It wouldn't be helpful where I work to try to take days off for that reason.
After the requisite minimum-wage jobs of youth, neither my husband nor I have ever had to explain our reason for taking a day off in any of the myriad places we've lived. Paid time off is paid time off. As long as our projects were done on time, nobody cared if we were out of the office for a long weekend, illness, mental health, or any other reason.

Regarding the SAH thing, it works for my family. My parents did the hand-off when I was a child, and it was fine for my brother and me, but it was really hard on their marriage. More than anything, that's why I stay home now. I worked for many years, but when we hit our thirties and decided to have children, it was just too difficult for us to juggle two demanding careers and kids, especially since my spouse traveled quite a bit, and we frequently relocated. Now that our kids are older and our family is more settled, I'm seriously considering going back to school (my previous career holds absolutely no appeal, and my skills are outdated), but that's for me more than anything else. I love volunteering, but I need something more.

As far as the OP is concerned, I'm glad you're thinking ahead. Children turn your life upside-down, and you need to be prepared. That's not to say you can cover all contingencies, but it's important to at least make an effort.

Last edited by formercalifornian; 03-07-2010 at 12:07 PM..
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Old 03-07-2010, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,354,751 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
After the requisite minimum-wage jobs of youth, neither my husband nor I have ever had to explain our reason for taking a day off in any of the myriad places we've lived. Paid time off is paid time off. As long as our projects were done on time, nobody cared if we were out of the office for a long weekend, illness, mental health, or any other reason.

Agree. Many employers have combined sick days and vacation days to just Paid Time Off....how you use those is up to you.
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:17 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 4,208,389 times
Reputation: 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post

I am not saying children aren't valued by parents. I'm saying they know that they do not play a valuable role in the family. Take their labors out and the family continues just fine. Kids know what they do is of little consequence and I think that affects how they view what they do and how they view family.

Maybe that's true for your kids and your family. It certainly isn't true for mine, and for many others. If you are going to make false blanket statements like that, folks are going to challenge it.
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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Actually, formercalifornian, I feel almost badly for her-she seems to have little joy and hope. There are other viewpoints out there besides hers.
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:45 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,016,817 times
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Originally Posted by wanderintonc View Post
Actually, formercalifornian, I feel almost badly for her-she seems to have little joy and hope. There are other viewpoints out there besides hers.
I deleted my post because I didn't think it was appropriate here. Didn't mean to confuse things.
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:47 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 4,208,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
I deleted my post because I didn't think it was appropriate here. Didn't mean to confuse things.
Oh, ok-gotcha. I'm just catching up here this afternoon
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,416,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderintonc View Post
Maybe that's true for your kids and your family. It certainly isn't true for mine, and for many others. If you are going to make false blanket statements like that, folks are going to challenge it.
What negative impact would it have on your family if your kids, suddenly, stopped doing what they do?
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 10,907,435 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderintonc View Post
Maybe that's true for your kids and your family. It certainly isn't true for mine, and for many others. If you are going to make false blanket statements like that, folks are going to challenge it.
I'm honestly curious--what do your kids do that a) You can't do yourself, and b) your house would fall apart without?

I can see possibilities in extremely large families (I watch the Duggars on TLC, and there's no way that family would survive if the older kids didn't pitch in!), but in your typical 2-4 kid household, mom and dad should be able to physically do all the housework. It's nice when kids help out and give mom and dad a break, but it's not necessary for survival.
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,416,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
I'm honestly curious--what do your kids do that a) You can't do yourself, and b) your house would fall apart without?

I can see possibilities in extremely large families (I watch the Duggars on TLC, and there's no way that family would survive if the older kids didn't pitch in!), but in your typical 2-4 kid household, mom and dad should be able to physically do all the housework. It's nice when kids help out and give mom and dad a break, but it's not necessary for survival.
This is my point. No one goes hungry and the house doesn't fall down if my kids don't put a dish in the dishwasher or clean their rooms. While it's nice when they do chores, that's all it is. Nice. They make life a little easier for me when they do them but I could do it all myself and still have plenty of extra time left over. I like it when they help but I don't need them to help and there's no harm done if they don't.
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:09 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,016,817 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
This is my point. No one goes hungry and the house doesn't fall down if my kids don't put a dish in the dishwasher or clean their rooms. While it's nice when they do chores, that's all it is. Nice. They make life a little easier for me when they do them but I could do it all myself and still have plenty of extra time left over. I like it when they help but I don't need them to help and there's no harm done if they don't.
The harm in my family is the rage that I feel over doing it for them; otherwise, I agree with you.
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