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Ok, noexcuses. Do you believe that the kid who said the poison statement should be talked to by school administrators so the threat can be evaluated, or not?
This reminds me so much of what I read about the Salem witch hunts.
What is that little b**tard's name OP, we'll hunt him down, tie him to a tree and torture him until his last breath.
Sheesh.
The problem with your argument is that you don't seem to think that the "I will pour poison down your throat" threat is any different than the "I'm going to kick your butt." The first is a thought-out threat (even if the vial was full of water with blue food coloring) and the last is a common childhood taunt.
YES, there are some people who will freak out over someone saying to their kid that their shoes are ugly. Most parents would not.
As for me and my children, I take a moment to listen to what was said. When my daughter came home to tearfully report that an older girl told her that her dress was ugly, I asked her "Do you think it's ugly?" When she said no, I told her "Well, then who cares if XXX said it was?" I didn't fly off the handle, I didn't march over to the girl's house.
No matter if it offends your sensibilities, if my daughter came home to report a kid singled her out and showed her a bottle of blue liquid and said that it was poison and she was going to use it to kill my kid...the gloves are off. Her parents WILL be meeting me face-to-face and I will approach them respectfully at first to report what happened. Depending on their reaction, they will either be put on notice that their daughter is disturbed or threatened with anything I can possibly think of. I will make no apologies for that and I don't give a flying cr^p if this kid's life is ruined.
My priority is MY child and no one has the right to make her feel unsafe or to take away from her opportunity to get an education because she's terrified to go to school. If his parents don't do something about it, then I will and his parents will regret not taking action. It's my responsibility, if I witness a child behaving this way, to put an end to it if his parents won't. If someone knocked on my door to report that my child had said something like this, she would be in serious trouble and I expect the same from another parent.
3D, IT WAS NOT BLUE LIQUID and the boy did NOT say he was going to use it to kill ANYBODY. The 7 year old didn't even tell his mother until weeks later. He was NOT too terrified to go to school.
My daughter is one of the gentlest people I have ever known. When she was in 3rd grade, another 3rd grade girl and she did not get along very well. The other third grader, on the bus, told my daughter she was going to take a knife and stab my daughter. My daughter simply said, 'I will take a gun and shoot you.'. End of story. End of problem. My daughter has never said that to anyone prior, or since, but it did solve the problem.
Both are in high school now. The other girl is not a monster. My daughter is not a monster. I said nothing to anyone else except discussing it with my daughter. It wasn't necessary. It was two kids.
Now, don't you think that if that older boy REALLY MEANT to do some REAL HARM to the OP 7 year old, sometime in the weeks since then, he would have done SOMETHING???? No, the boy has done nothing to indicate a serious problem between him and the younger boy. ALL HE DID WAS TALK.
Yes, all he did was make a threat....and by the way, the threat was 'If you tell anyone I will pour poison down your throat.' Apparently then the victim DIDN"T TELL. I agree, no action happened, I absolutely agree with you there.....but maybe the kid didn't do anything because the threat was effective? The victim, as far as the OP stated, didn't tell anyone about the threat of poison till much later.
So adults evaluating the situation to ensure that the boy is harmless - what harm, what negative would come from that? I am not suggesting he needs a psych eval, even. Just have the team that is set up to deal with threats take a look at the situation. Was it an offhand comment? Quite likely. But is this a kid who is a consistent troublemaker, who is isolated and has no friends, who has a history of acting out? We have no idea. You don't know, I don't know. All we have is a child's story. So why not have an adult talk to the kids involved? If there really is nothing to it, it ends there....no stigma, nothing happens. But if the adults who investigate find that in fact there is a threat of violence, then nip it in the bud, get the kid help, and steer him to the right path.
That is what the research has shown - that things like this need some kind of followup. I am NOT suggesting the kid get kicked out of school! Not even in school suspension! I have said several times that the victim in this situation should be taught self defense skills to increase his self confidence so that he is not a target. However, to completely ignore and ASSUME that this kid is harmless....I think a second look by an adult is warranted here.
Quote:
There appears to be a strong relationship between bullying other students and experiencing later legal and criminal problems as an adult. In one study, 60% of those characterized as bullies in grades 6-9 had at least one criminal conviction by age 24.[16] Chronic bullies seem to maintain their behaviors into adulthood, negatively influencing their ability to develop and maintain positive relationships.
Quote: STAT: Bullies who have been identified by age 8 are six times more likely than others to be convicted of a crime by the time they reach the age of 24. They are five times more likely to end up with serious criminal records by age 30 (National Resource Centre for Safe Schools, 1999[SIZE=1]8[/SIZE]). STAT: 60% of boys who were nominated as bullies in grades 6 to 9 had at least one court conviction by age 24; 35% to 40% had three or more convictions compared to 10% for the control group of non-bullying boys (Voices for Children, 2002[SIZE=1]9[/SIZE]).
Quote:
Bullies identified by age eight are six times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age twenty-four and five times more likely that non-bullies to end up with serious criminal records by the age of thirty.
I could keep adding more sites that all have pretty much the same statistics. I think that the statistics speak for themselves. Not every bully is going to end up being a criminal, but there is a higher chance that they will than won't.
Yep, repped you for this. I had to do a class presentation on bullies for an adult education course I was taking, and I remember coming across very similar information. Also agree that many adults are bullies and probably have been since childhood.
What was in the tube is unimportant, he told the 7yr old he would poision him. If someone pointed an unloaded gun at him and said I'll kill you if you tell on me, would that count as assuming the worst too.
By law it's defined as "terroristic threats" this boy needs some serious help.
But no one knows what was in the tube. You are assuming the worst. You are also assuming that the 7 year old said nothing. You are also assuming that you know the criminal mind and can read a 8 or 9 year old and know that he will be a criminal in his later years. You are also assuming that you know the situation well enough to condem a young boy for life.
One of my cousins grew up mean. He is older than my sisters, brothers and myself, yet he picked on us relentlessly. He grew up, married and had 5 kids. He is one of the most loving fathers I have known.
Another cousin (the first one's brother) and his friend were careless and wild. They would come over to our road (We lived in the country a mile and a half from them.) and race their cars when we were very young. Our mother would not allow us near the road to ride our bikes for a couple years because of the teenagers racing all the time. BOTH of those boys ended up police officers after serving in the armed forces (one army, the other air force).
I know another boy who used to pick, pick pick all the time and was mean to other kids in elementary school. He has been a minister for all his adult life.
I knew a guy when he was in elementary school who was as sweet as they come. Polite, well mannered. He grew up and murdered another man.
Because a boy said something you think is so bad that he should be shot, doesn't mean he will grow up to be a monster.
I had 2 sons that went to a public school where I knew they would have challenges from the other students (special heckling of their race).
I taught them both the "face opponent - stab knee directly into nut sack - head comes down - position palms over opponents skull and bounce head off of available knee - Perri away". One can do this move with a Chicken Kick and a "Whe Hi!" That was in the first grade.
They never had to use it.
A contingency plan.
As it was, the teachers and administrators of the school would trip over each other whenever I called.
Your situation should have been dealt with among the adults when it first happened. These days you have to nip it in the bud or else the kids can get pretty mean.
There's a moral in this story.
I would suggest having the parents of the bullying child meet you at the school. The school could arbitrate the discussion, keep it constructive. Your son should be protected and allowed to enjoy school. The stress that comes from bullying could manifest in so many negative ways. It would be terrible for your son to have his comfort and confidence undermined. He must be a very strong individual to have lived with this so long, admirable self control for a little guy.
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