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Old 03-05-2010, 11:07 AM
 
14,780 posts, read 43,543,561 times
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I have seen quite a few studies recently (thing on CNN and other news feeds, so please excuse the lack of links) discussing the impact of size and social standing on boys. A couple studies in Australia pointed to athletes being better and more succesful if their birthdays made them one of the older kids in the class. Another study focused on the percieved popularity and social standing of students being tied to their age and size relative to their peers.

Now I wouldn't make my decision based on any study, it is more about your kid and what's right for him, but these sorts of things make you think.

In my case my son had the opportunity to step up and start KG when he was 4 and would have turned 5 that November. His pre-school teacher felt that he was ready intellectually and had mastered all the basics. My wife and I mulled it over for a long time and it wasn't until we went to observe the current KG class that we made the decision to wait another year.

My son has always been big for his age (I'm 6'4" and my wife is 5'7") but there were quite a few kids in the class who would have been bigger than him and these kids seemed to run the pack so to speak. This isn't a universal as a couple of the shorter kids were obviously older as well and seemed to do well, but the younger/smaller kids in the crowd seemed to have no choice but to go along with what the group wanted and were reduced to followers.

We made the choice to keep him in pre-K for another year and have him go to KG this coming Fall when he will be 5, about to turn 6. While his learning has stagnated a bit, he is far more outgoing and engaged with friends in pre-K this year than he was last year and has emerged as a bit of a leader.

Take my story for what it is, but for my son keeping him in pre-K another year was the right move for him and IMO if you have any doubts about your son being ready I would hold him back.

Success in school and life is about a lot more than good grades and knowing the material. Society is built on relationships. If he isn't ready to handle that aspect of it, keep him back. You be amazed what another year and a couple more pounds and inches can do for him.
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Old 03-05-2010, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,871,772 times
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I've been exactly where you are.
My son's bd is august 3. He was "old enough" to go to kindegarten and he wasn't too clingy but he was very immature. His K teacher told us if he repeated K he would graduate in the top 10% of his class as she could tell he was very bright. We had him repat K and it is the smartest thing we ever did. We did a great deal of study and decided we would rather have him be one of the oldest in his class rather be in the youngest group. It all had to do with car driving, peer pressure and all the other high school things we thought about. He graduate # 4 in his class, finished college with a double major at a great university in just 3 years and is on track to get his phd in math and theoretical physics in less than a year.

If I could find that kindergarten teacher I would give her a GREAT BIG KISS.!!!!!
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Old 03-05-2010, 12:23 PM
 
Location: San Antonio
1,532 posts, read 3,690,029 times
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Thank you everyone who gave me constructive feed back. I am honestly on the fence about this, but I'm leaning more towards holding him back. What will it hurt? If we find that he is excelling to the point where he is bored, then we can always bump him up, right? There are 6 kinder teachers in his school and I would request a different teacher for him of course. I LOVE his teacher this year, but I wouldn't want him to do the exact same thing in the exact same setting. It is Kinder, so it doesn't hurt for him to repeat the writing, reading, etc. portion of the learning process. Thank you again for all of your help, and keep it coming if you can!
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Old 03-05-2010, 12:23 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,348,040 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mojokitty View Post
Hello! I need some other parent's perspectives of this. My son is a very young kindergartener. He is 5 and his birthday is in August. So, he is one of the youngest in the class. It's now 7 months into school and he is still crying when I leave and clinging to me. When we are walking to school he doesn't want to go, he wants to stay home with me. Everyday it hurts my heart to leave him there. He is very smart, meets the curriculum, etc. Emotionally and socially, I just don't see that he is mature enough to move on to 1st grade. His teacher, the school councelor, and the principal have all talked to me about this and they ALL think I should move him on to first grade. They all say he would be incredibly bored if I held him back in kinder again. Ultimately, it's my decision, but I am confused as anything on what to do.

So, has anyone held back their very young, kinder son? How was your experience? Do you rec. other parents thinking about this? Any advice on what to do? Thank you for your input.

Oh, please don't put me down about putting him in kinder so young. I've learned my lesson, etc. I'm just looking for support. Thank you.
Well, my sister did keep her son in kindergarten and now he is so ready for it. He is doing so much better than a year ago. He is equal with everyone in the class.
I have a pre-K student on my hand and he is a summer child too. I know that if I see him not being ready for the 1st grade, I will keep him one more year. In the long run, one year is nothing.
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Old 03-05-2010, 04:50 PM
 
664 posts, read 1,942,343 times
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If you have any doubt at all then YES have hin do kinder again. Look at it this way, if you do not hold him back he may always struggle a little bit to keep up and his maturity leval may not be where it "should" be. If you hold him back he might always be a little ahead or at the leval he should be. Decision would be easy for me. Like others have said K is much better to hold back than 3 or 4th grade where he could really be having a much harder time. Don't worry about what others may think as well..screw them, it's your kid and do what is best for him not social pressure.
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Brushy Creek
806 posts, read 2,878,170 times
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I went back and re-read the OP to see what I may have missed in the message that's brought on such a wide variety of suggestions.

Quote:
He is very smart, meets the curriculum, etc. Emotionally and socially, I just don't see that he is mature enough to move on to 1st grade. His teacher, the school councelor, and the principal have all talked to me about this and they ALL think I should move him on to first grade. They all say he would be incredibly bored if I held him back in kinder again.
The teachers and administrators are very correct in their analysis. Imagine the disruptive force he'll become because of that boredom, and how many notes and calls you'll be dealing with. Kids mature and learn at different paces, even siblings. You'd be better off nurturing the maturity issue yourself rather than stunting his exposure.
If worrying about his size, age and future driving are at the top of your list of concerns, you're in for a very rude awakening come the middle school years. I speak from personal experience of the same scenario of siblings at the opposite ends of this spectrum.
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:36 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 4,210,747 times
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I can understand being concerned about your son's maturity-I just want to share my experience as a parent of several kids with late birthdays. who were 4 when K started. They all have ended up doing very well. The age difference of months really ceases to matter as time goes on. My oldest is a hs senior, born in Dec so yes, he is the youngest in his class. It is totally OK, and he's already been accepted to two top colleges. He drives and has tons of friends and is in student govt. The age thing just does not matter so much now.

With your son doing so well academically, I'd be concerned about boredom and behavior issues stemming from them, if he stayed back. I had a clingy kiddo too-kid #3-he was that way into first grade. And ironically, he is one of the oldest, with a March birthday! He's a totally non-clingy, social 6th grader now.
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:37 PM
 
574 posts, read 2,040,481 times
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I am both a mother of three and a kindergarten teacher (also taught first and public Pre-K). I think the word bored is way overused! Children should not be bored in K whether its their first time or their second time there, no matter how bright they are. There are so many things going on in Kindergarten and a good teacher will keep your child engaged throughout the day. In most districts we are required to do differenciated instruction (planning and delivering instruction based on the ability levels of the children, in small groups) at least in reading/language arts. We think children will become bored when we imagine school being a place where the kids sit at desks and fill in worksheets all day. In most cases kindergartners will be busy at centers, on the computer, engaging in social play (so very important) and otherwise being allowed to express their creativity in various ways. I also find that most children who are repeaters in my classroom, and this is true year after year, are proud that they know the skill, have heard the story (that's why children's books and DVDs are so much more popular than the adult ones, they want to hear and see it all again!) and can help the others find the office and lunchroom! An extra year will give your child the extra confidence he needs to do even better in the classroom in years to come and most importantly, he will probably be a lot happier and more socially secure. There is a big difference in children who are born in the fall and those who have summer birthdays. Technically next year if you hold him back, he will probably have kids in his new class who are just a few weeks or months younger than he is. I say if this is what your gut is telling you to do, go for it!

Nancy
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:51 PM
 
Location: California
37,077 posts, read 42,043,953 times
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I held my son back from starting Kindergarten. He had been attending a preschool for 2 years and I felt in my gut that he just wasn't ready. I had an older daughter so I was somewhat familiar with the whole thing. And when his preschool teacher called me in to give me her end of year report she suggested he might benefit by waiting. He wasn't even young for his grade, in fact he was one of the older kids, but it was just his cautious nature that kept him back. I never regretted it and we STILL had issues over the years with him being behind the curve in some ways, I can't imagine how bad it would have been if we had pushed him to go earlier. I've never known anyone who regretted holding back their son in the early grades, and I've known quite a few.
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Old 03-05-2010, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Brushy Creek
806 posts, read 2,878,170 times
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Just out of curiosity, what would be different beside being a year older, if he's held back? He's not struggling in the classroom and a smart kid according to OP. Will he not be going to the same school and class? Wouldn't it actually be better next year because of being a year older and seeing some of the same faces in his classes?
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