Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-25-2012, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,688 posts, read 41,593,260 times
Reputation: 41312

Advertisements

A variable that should be considered here is that IL may have diff graduation requirements than NJ which could possibly hold him up in graduating because of credits. In HS, I moved from Southern VA after 10th grade. Mom was working in DC so Maryland was an option but the problem is that MD had a community service requirement (72 hours) to graduate while Virginia didn't and it was not feasible to make up that time in two years. Mom thankfully decided to live in the VA side to not mess me up under Virginia's grad requirements. Adjusting to a diff HS is already a tall task without endangering graduating on time in the mix.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-25-2012, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale
23 posts, read 39,127 times
Reputation: 22
I am having a really hard time thinking of being away from my family. I suppose for three months but is that really an answer for us? We sit down tonight to talk it over.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2012, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,165,784 times
Reputation: 73916
No.

Is this the new coddling thing with parents?
Kids can't move schools for 2+ years left?
It would be different if it were the very last year...but seriously?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2012, 06:04 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,147,762 times
Reputation: 10693
Stan--what if your child is heavily involved in an activity that isn't offered in the new area? What if the academics are sub par in the new area? It may be coddling but sometimes it is just accepting that your children are important to you and you understand how important these activities are to them. We will be doing the long distance life starting in April. We are in total agreement that we will not pull our kids out of school before they graduate (they are juniors). They are too involved in activities here, the school is much better than where we will be moving and we just don't want to pull them away from friends. Now, we will be fortunate that DH will be away for 3 days/week and home for the rest but even if he was just home on weekends, we still would keep the kids here. Our kids are far from coddled but we are just being realistic about their future plans and it is to their benefit to stay here for many reasons.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2012, 06:35 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale
23 posts, read 39,127 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
Stan--what if your child is heavily involved in an activity that isn't offered in the new area? What if the academics are sub par in the new area? It may be coddling but sometimes it is just accepting that your children are important to you and you understand how important these activities are to them. We will be doing the long distance life starting in April. We are in total agreement that we will not pull our kids out of school before they graduate (they are juniors). They are too involved in activities here, the school is much better than where we will be moving and we just don't want to pull them away from friends. Now, we will be fortunate that DH will be away for 3 days/week and home for the rest but even if he was just home on weekends, we still would keep the kids here. Our kids are far from coddled but we are just being realistic about their future plans and it is to their benefit to stay here for many reasons.
My circumstance is different that being my son and wife will stay at our home. She has a wonderful job and no need to leave, and of course my son will stay there also. My job will take me across states and more than Likely I will have no chance to see them for months. Travel would be expensive and mute the point of making money. My issue is this seperation will just about kill me. At what point does this not make sense? 50000? 75000? more? or less?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2012, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,165,784 times
Reputation: 73916
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
Stan--what if your child is heavily involved in an activity that isn't offered in the new area? What if the academics are sub par in the new area? It may be coddling but sometimes it is just accepting that your children are important to you and you understand how important these activities are to them. We will be doing the long distance life starting in April. We are in total agreement that we will not pull our kids out of school before they graduate (they are juniors). They are too involved in activities here, the school is much better than where we will be moving and we just don't want to pull them away from friends. Now, we will be fortunate that DH will be away for 3 days/week and home for the rest but even if he was just home on weekends, we still would keep the kids here. Our kids are far from coddled but we are just being realistic about their future plans and it is to their benefit to stay here for many reasons.
Then why move?
How happy could you be in an area that is so podunk that you can't even find one good school or activity center?
What amount of money is worth that?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2012, 10:47 AM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,252,442 times
Reputation: 26463
I have done that, and it was fine. My daughter wanted to stay in her school. I moved on, she stayed with her Dad. She came to see me for Christmas, a month in the summer. We talked on the phone, the time went fast. We are still close. It really seemed like we were not apart at all, if that makes any sense...she is away at college now.

If everyone is fine with it, this is better than making a teen move, who does not want to move. And the could be a good career move, I know mine was, it would have been stupid for me to not have done it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2012, 10:48 AM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,317 posts, read 20,934,019 times
Reputation: 10443
One of my Co/Worker had this issue when the company moved a bunch of us to Atlatna from NJ. He has two sons, One was a HS senior Other was in 8th grade. His wife could work from anywhere (as long as there was a international airport near by and Atlanta fit that). He moved to GA in December, with his 8th grade son, so that son would be in middle school here so he would move to HS with some friends, so he did not start HS being the totaly new kid not knowing anyone (2 middle school feed 1 High school). His wife and oldest son stay'ed in NJ so he would complete HS there and graduate with his class. About every 2-3 week Co/worker & 8th grade son would Fly up to NJ. (Mostly on long weekend days on his son school calendar).

In July of that year they sold/moved the NJ house and she moved to GA, oldest son was then in college.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2012, 06:56 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,121,287 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedinNJ View Post
I have accepted a job in another state. My son wants to stay and finish high school in New Jersey (last two years). My husband says he will stay with him while I and my daughter move. In two years, my husband and son will join us.

I haven't seen anyone post this type of situation. Everyone is fine with this arrangement except me. I will miss my son, although we will be set up with Skype etc. Has anyone done this? If so, how did it pan out?

Thanks for your thoughts!
People in the service on active duty have to do this all the time. Unless your husband is irresponsible, you will probably do ok. However, if your son is only a sophmore, I would probably have made him move if it were me. What is the point of getting a good job....then spending all your money to maintain 2 places...it makes no sense. If you feel that strongly about it, you should wait to transfer in 2 years....Then he probably won't want to move because of college. It is more a lose lose situation no matter how you see it Sorry you are having to go thru this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2012, 07:15 PM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,147,762 times
Reputation: 10693
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Then why move?
How happy could you be in an area that is so podunk that you can't even find one good school or activity center?
What amount of money is worth that?
Actually, the area we are moving to is about 5 times the size of the town we are in now, the schools aren't as good and the caliber of the programs they are in now isn't what they have now. As for why we are moving, because it is a smart career move for Dh and it's a place we will probably retire to vs where we are now. We will be more than happy there and yes, the kids could adjust if we did move them, we choose not to move them because like I said, in the long run they will be much better finishing high school here then they would in our new area.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:25 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top