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Stan--what if your child is heavily involved in an activity that isn't offered in the new area? What if the academics are sub par in the new area? It may be coddling but sometimes it is just accepting that your children are important to you and you understand how important these activities are to them. We will be doing the long distance life starting in April. We are in total agreement that we will not pull our kids out of school before they graduate (they are juniors). They are too involved in activities here, the school is much better than where we will be moving and we just don't want to pull them away from friends. Now, we will be fortunate that DH will be away for 3 days/week and home for the rest but even if he was just home on weekends, we still would keep the kids here. Our kids are far from coddled but we are just being realistic about their future plans and it is to their benefit to stay here for many reasons.
You gave me advice not so long ago about not "intentionally disappointing" my daughter for not buying her Uggs boot for Christmas. And additional advice on savings plans for i phones that were cheap because I had disappointed the poor child not buying her the phone of her dreams. You never did give me your credit card info so that I could set up the plan or volunteer your services to monitor her outgoing and incoming calls/texts. Much less her internet useage. Never mind that we had to switch off everything because she was texting inappropriate things to her friends and is on the verge of getting kicked out of school for bad behavior and psychotic issues (woot serious adoption issues!!!). We are looking at spending quite a bit of money to get her into a private alternative school so thank goodness I didn't buy her those Uggs boots earlier---we are going to need every penny we have..... unless we win our fight with the school system. You dispense of advice freely without really understanding the issues of each family and their special circumstances. Such is the nature of the internet and free advice I guess.
I'm happy that your children are happy and well adjusted. I'm happy that you can spend happy time apart as a family and no one is worse the wear. Believe me....if we had to spend anytime apart as a family at this point and especially two years, that would lead to serious consequences. Parents, do what is right for your family and you alone pretty much know this. If your family is happy and well adjusted....fine. For other families out there, you really need to weigh this on a case by case basis. Sometimes the family outweighs the needs of a teen and the parents are the right ones to make this decision. Remember, thousands of military families do this each year. Yes it is sad but kids (at least the well adjusted ones------not my family unfortunately) get over things pretty quickly).
Another perspective on this rather old thread. If you are happy and well adjusted, pat yourself on the back. Good job!! You have won the game of life and parenting. For others, there may be great emotional pain in this decision and isn't so easy. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty and especially strangers on an internet forum.
As someone who lived apart from her husband for a year because of job related situation, I wouldn't recommend it, not at all. I am sorry, but I would be making my son and the husband move as well, or would just turn down the job. Being apart for that long is not good for family dynamics at all.
When I first saw the OP I thought it was someone I knew but it is two years old so likely not. I know 5 kids in my school in this exact situation as well as 3 kids pulled out to move. A local army base closed down and many families, even in the private sector, had a parent relocated due to its closing. Most of the parents choose to keep the kids in our program as it is a unique opportunity and to have the relocated parent "move" down to Maryland (where most of the jobs went) until either a new job is found or the kid graduates. So far the one family I know well seems to be fine. Mom leaves very early Sunday morning and is back thursday night (she got the company to let her work from home one day a week). The other kids in the school haven't suddenly fallen off academically so they appear fine too.
I have kept in touch with two of the kids who moved due to the parents job change. One is doing great, but he was always a popular kid and a sports star. The other kid was a bit of an odd duck and did not make new friends, he dropped out last year and went into the military. I haven't heard from him since then. He was always very unhappy about the move and never got over it. The first was sad to leave but appear fine now. I think a lot of it depends on the individual child.
As someone who lived apart from her husband for a year because of job related situation, I wouldn't recommend it, not at all. I am sorry, but I would be making my son and the husband move as well, or would just turn down the job. Being apart for that long is not good for family dynamics at all.
Define "apart". How often did you see your DH? In our case he will be home 4 days/week, gone 3. The first time we did the separation his job required him to travel more than that so we hardly knew he was gone. Now, with the way his schedule will work out, we will see him about as much as we do now. Now, if he was going to be in a place where he couldn't come home at all, that would be a different story.
Update-
So pretty hectic week, and as luck would have it I was hired this week locally. The job is pretty basic but after moving and setting up living expenses elsewhere this is just about what I would have made anyway. I get to stay with my family, Try to find a better job.
I asked for forgiveness for being negative over this whole long ordeal. And now I want to move on and be happy. My Friends and family believe in me and I feel good.
Thank you to everyone here that gave me some positive reinforcement.
Define "apart". How often did you see your DH? In our case he will be home 4 days/week, gone 3. The first time we did the separation his job required him to travel more than that so we hardly knew he was gone. Now, with the way his schedule will work out, we will see him about as much as we do now. Now, if he was going to be in a place where he couldn't come home at all, that would be a different story.
2hrs drive hours is all, but due to his work hours and my business, we only saw each other on the weekends. I still wouldn't recommend living apart to ANY family. Families are meant to be together.
I am glad you get to stay with your family! That is great you found a local job so fast! Best of luck
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