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Old 03-07-2010, 01:19 AM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,952,953 times
Reputation: 11355

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We have done a meal for the whole family (kids and adults) over the years
when we are celebrating a birthday. Sometimes we cook and sometimes we go out.
This entire planning,shopping and cooking falls on me with little help from anyone.
I started asking for my grown step daughter to bring a dish but hubby says that
isn't fair because I don't ask my teen kids to do a dish.

We need to eat at home to help with the budget, so do I delegate, end the
BD meals, or do simple things like Hamb and have the guys grill.

How do others have large family get togethers without all the work falling on
one person
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:18 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,076 posts, read 20,453,074 times
Reputation: 7806
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
We have done a meal for the whole family (kids and adults) over the years
when we are celebrating a birthday. Sometimes we cook and sometimes we go out.
This entire planning,shopping and cooking falls on me with little help from anyone.
I started asking for my grown step daughter to bring a dish but hubby says that
isn't fair because I don't ask my teen kids to do a dish.

We need to eat at home to help with the budget, so do I delegate, end the
BD meals, or do simple things like Hamb and have the guys grill.

How do others have large family get togethers without all the work falling on
one person

We do sort of like a covered dish meal. Everybody brings something. The oldest daughter is usually the one who delegates to the others and there's no problems with it. The ones who are good at pastries bring pastries. Good at meat? Bring meat. etc.

If you have family members are so petty as to compare what they brought to what someone else brought, let 'em stew in their own juices. The won't make anyone else miserable except themselves.
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Old 03-07-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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I'd say that if you are hosting a birthday for someone that lives in your house, then I wouldn't ask anyone else to bring food. However I would also probably limit it to a few appetizers and cake instead of providing a full meal for a large family.

If you are hosting a family gathering to celebrate someone else's birthday at your house, then I'd definitely be asking anyone who doesn't live in the house to bring food. I'd provide maybe the meat, like hamburgers/hot dogs, then ask one family to bring the paper goods, one to bring bread/buns, one to bring drinks, one to bring side dishes and one to bring dessert. Or something like that. Of course, being me, I'd make sure I had something I could toss in if someone failed to bring their share, but it would only be a token part.

Those who live in the house that are not 'bringing' something are then asked to clean up in preparation, set up for the party and clean up afterwards, in addition to hosting the party itself. (meaning they offer to refill cups, get seconds of food, empty trash cans as needed etc)
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Old 03-07-2010, 10:53 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,952,953 times
Reputation: 11355
One problem is that we try to do these get togethers on Sunday right after church and I end up cooking late Sat so things will be ready right after church.

I end up cooking while I am tired after a busy Sat then I resent doing it all myself.

I decided that we will fix things that everyone can help with and we will just prepare it when help has arrived instead of me doing it all ahead . We had Fajitas today and I got help with all of it and we ate when it was done about 2:30. Just letting go of trying to have it ready at 1 was a great idea.

It was actually fun for everyone to chat and chop and cook for awhile.

I think hamburgers, tacos, & homemade pizzas would work well
with this idea also.
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Old 03-08-2010, 05:19 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,076 posts, read 20,453,074 times
Reputation: 7806
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
One problem is that we try to do these get togethers on Sunday right after church and I end up cooking late Sat so things will be ready right after church.

I end up cooking while I am tired after a busy Sat then I resent doing it all myself.

I decided that we will fix things that everyone can help with and we will just prepare it when help has arrived instead of me doing it all ahead . We had Fajitas today and I got help with all of it and we ate when it was done about 2:30. Just letting go of trying to have it ready at 1 was a great idea.

It was actually fun for everyone to chat and chop and cook for awhile.

I think hamburgers, tacos, & homemade pizzas would work well
with this idea also.

Don't over-think it or over-plan it, Mom. The objective is for the family to hang out together, not eat.
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Old 03-08-2010, 09:48 AM
 
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You remind me of my sister. She's a fabulous cook and ends up hosting all of the birthday/holiday meals for her in-laws who never bring anything other than a bottle of wine or a Mrs. Smith pie. She's miserable but has been doing this for 15 years and will probably continue for the foreseeable future.

I'd make it a potluck (the birthday person shouldn't have to bring anything of course). If they complain have the birthday celebration dinner with your household only and invite the extended family for coffee and cake afterwards.
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Old 03-08-2010, 11:21 AM
 
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In my family we tend to stick with things that are simple. A big pot of meatballs, some hot roast beef, chili, stew or a deli tray can go a long way to feeding people cheap without a ton of preperation. If it's nice out throw some burgers or dogs on the grill. Add a couple cold salads, or a big pot of soup and call it a meal.

The last bday dinner we did:

Giant pot of homemade beef stew. Some nice crusty bread. Cheese and pepperoni platter with some crackers for appetizers. A good seasonal beer for the adults.
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Old 03-08-2010, 01:55 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,952,953 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaMc46 View Post
You remind me of my sister. She's a fabulous cook and ends up hosting all of the birthday/holiday meals for her in-laws who never bring anything other than a bottle of wine or a Mrs. Smith pie. She's miserable but has been doing this for 15 years and will probably continue for the foreseeable future.

I'd make it a potluck (the birthday person shouldn't have to bring anything of course). If they complain have the birthday celebration dinner with your household only and invite the extended family for coffee and cake afterwards.

Good ideas ...

Yeah you have me pegged perfectly..I've always done it so suggesting
dividing it up shocks everyone...

One problem is a blended family where my kids are college age boys and I
don't expect them to bring a dish but my step daughters are in their 30's
and I think it would be considerate. I get the college kids to help shop & set up
& clean up. Expecting a dish creates conflict so I think I will just
expect ALL (except the birthday person) to help cook or we don't eat.
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Old 03-09-2010, 09:42 PM
 
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Do tacos. The night before, ground all the hamburger meat. In the morning, before church, throw it in a crockpot with the seasoning mix and some water.

Also the night before, have your teens chop tomatoes and lettuce, onions, shred cheese and put it all in the frig in large Ziploc bags - even dump a container of sour cream in a Ziploc. When you get home from church, have the teens "set the table" by putting out flour tortillas, paper plates, dumping the veggies into bowls, cutting a corner off the sour cream bag and have that rest in a bowl and put plastic spoons in every bowl to help with serving. If you like, have them open a couple cans of refried beans and heat those up in the microwave. Open a jar of salsa and set out a jar of taco sauce and dump a can of jalapenos and another of sliced olives in bowls as well. Have the oldest bring a bag of tortilla chips - and let her know the teens are doing most of the prep work. Brag about all their efforts and say something like, "All I have to do is brown the ground beef, heat up the taco shells and call you... you all are WONDERFUL kids. I'm the LUCKIEST mom. Thanks for making this one so easy on me!"
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Old 03-10-2010, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 7,170,253 times
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Warm weather, I'd do hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. Chips, some cold salads that can be made ahead, and a birthday cake...and you can put the college boys to work grilling.
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