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Old 03-15-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
I think it is human nature to want others to agree with your own line of reasoning, especially when you've taken a pretty emphatic stance on something.

But do you really want people to "play along," always agree with you and never question one of your own statements? I know I don't..
Depends on the situation. Most of the time, I think people just want to be validated, not corrected. And, when it comes to the one doing the correcting, I think it often boils down to having something to prove. Sometimes, it's just better to swallow hard and stay quiet.
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Old 03-16-2010, 10:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
Depends on the situation. Most of the time, I think people just want to be validated, not corrected. And, when it comes to the one doing the correcting, I think it often boils down to having something to prove. Sometimes, it's just better to swallow hard and stay quiet.
There's a whole lot of truth in that, to be sure .

At the same time, I don't think it's wise, or even very kind, to validate an opinion that I think is unwise or downright wrong. It's kind of like watching someone walk around with toilet paper stuck to their shoe and not saying something to them because you don't want to embarrass them.

But, like you said, it really does depend a lot on the situation...

Last edited by springfieldva; 03-16-2010 at 11:07 AM..
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Old 03-16-2010, 11:13 AM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,025,159 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
There's a whole lot of truth in that, to be sure .

At the same time, I don't think it's wise, or even very kind, to validate an opinion that I think is unwise or downright wrong. It's kind of like watching someone walk around with toilet paper stuck to their shoe and not saying something to them because you don't want to embarrass them.

But, like you said, it really does depend a lot on the situation...
Tone of voice and a careful choice of words can go a long way toward keeping the peace. If I really feel the need to jump in, I say something along the lines of "That's really interesting. I have a difference perspective on the matter."

If the person is open to my thoughts, he or she will ask. Many times, though, it leads to a quick change of subject, and that's my cue to leave well enough alone.
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Old 03-16-2010, 11:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
Tone of voice and a careful choice of words can go a long way toward keeping the peace. If I really feel the need to jump in, I say something along the lines of "That's really interesting. I have a difference perspective on the matter."

If the person is open to my thoughts, he or she will ask. Many times, though, it leads to a quick change of subject, and that's my cue to leave well enough alone.
I think that is true. And I do get what your saying - civility is important.

But there are times when another person's perspective is actually really offensive, not really interesting. Fighting with them doesn't seem very productive (you won't change their *wrong* viewpoint) but neither does backing away and clamming up (suppose they choose to view your silence as tacit agreement ?)...
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Old 03-16-2010, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
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You aren't always right and people didn't always ask for your opinion. Especially stated as fact. Maybe that the problem or maybe they are truly idiots. I dont know you, so I dont know.
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Old 03-16-2010, 07:04 PM
 
Location: California
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I want to correct people when I overhear them talking and saying things that are wrong, things I have experience or knowledge about and not just an opinion. But I only really speak up if I'm going to be involved in the discussion or if I know the people. I've walked away from strangers saying inaccurate things before even though my instinct was to speak up.
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Old 03-16-2010, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
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Oh I understand that some things are fact and some are not.
For instance, at work a guest (customer) said that zhu zhu pets were recalled and I told her they weren't, that we would not sell them if they were, and it would be illegal. She snapped back with "Yes they were! It was all over the news!" She was wrong. But there are some things that people think are "obvious" that are really just assumptions or thier opinion.
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Old 03-17-2010, 06:53 AM
 
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I wouldn't get bent out of shape over the zhu zhu pet thing - customers at stores do that sort of thing all the time. But if a customer came into the store and started to put me down personally for no apparent reason or if I walked into a store as a customer and the clerks in the store or the management refused to serve me without explanation, I might say something to them...

Opinions are opinions only. I like the color blue but it is not "obvious" to me that other people like that color, nor would I think they were "wrong" for liking yellow instead. It would be silly for me to bite someone's head off if they don't agree with some personal preference of mine.

But if a person says: "People who like blue are nothing but low life trailer trash" - their statement goes beyond innocent observation. And, they shouldn't be surprised if others get provoked - especially if the statement is made over and over and over again.
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Old 03-17-2010, 07:15 AM
 
Location: In a chartreuse microbus
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Recently I flashed my headlights at someone who was backing out onto a main road in the early morning darkness without their lights on, into oncoming traffic. Naturally, I got flipped off. There's only so much you can do.
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Old 03-17-2010, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,224 posts, read 84,144,315 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I want to correct people when I overhear them talking and saying things that are wrong, things I have experience or knowledge about and not just an opinion. But I only really speak up if I'm going to be involved in the discussion or if I know the people. I've walked away from strangers saying inaccurate things before even though my instinct was to speak up.
I learned to do that also. My tendency is to correct them, and I admit that some of it is ego. I also realized some time ago that I had a tendency (still do to some degree) to assume that people act stupid on purpose.

I do believe for the most part that stupidity is a choice for many people--the acquisition of knowledge carries with it an increase in responsibility and accountability. I'm not talking solely about formal education, either.
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