Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-13-2010, 07:38 AM
 
10 posts, read 9,610 times
Reputation: 13

Advertisements

People will make assumptions or follow a certain line of thinking and I'll point out some obvious flaw or loophole in it, and they'll get all pissy at me like I brought up some taboo topic. Like they know about it but no one's supposed to mention it and we're supposed to act as though the huge hole in the logic doesn't exist.

I'll get called a know-it-all or troublemaker simply for pointing out something that was obvious to me and I thought I was helping people out whom I assume didn't see it.

What am I doing wrong?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-13-2010, 08:24 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,673,217 times
Reputation: 2194
Join the club.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,308,463 times
Reputation: 40194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roseannad View Post
People will make assumptions or follow a certain line of thinking and I'll point out some obvious flaw or loophole in it, and they'll get all pissy at me like I brought up some taboo topic. Like they know about it but no one's supposed to mention it and we're supposed to act as though the huge hole in the logic doesn't exist.

I'll get called a know-it-all or troublemaker simply for pointing out something that was obvious to me and I thought I was helping people out whom I assume didn't see it.

What am I doing wrong?
You know, it's all in your approach. Remember, you attract more flies with honey than vinegar.

If this is happening to you a lot I'd say you might have a problem being too abrasive and making people feel judged instead of giving folks the sense of support they may be looking for from you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 08:33 AM
 
16,889 posts, read 16,154,381 times
Reputation: 28119
I think it depends on what you are trying to point out and how you go about making your statement.

For instance: I could say - "People who drive economy cars are ugly losers." Multiple people could respond to me by saying - "Hey. I drive an economy car and I'm not an ugly loser." I could accept their response and respect their point of view or...I could then go on to post multiple threads on this topic bemoaning the ugly losers that insist on driving those ridiculous cars...

At some point, people get fed up with my question and begin to wonder what my problem is. They start to ask me: "What difference does it make to you what car I drive? I'll drive the car that I want to drive. Are you having trouble making your own car payment or something?"

Last edited by springfieldva; 03-13-2010 at 08:45 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 08:33 AM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,971 posts, read 63,287,500 times
Reputation: 92424
I have a friend who, after I have passed on an innocuous email, will write back to tell me that according to snopes.com the email is untrue or inaccurate. I'm not sure why I find this so annoying, since of course I want to know that my cell phone number is not going to be turned over to the telemarketers, for example, but I do.
I guess the reason why you annoy people is that you seem to need to appear superior to them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 08:34 AM
 
4,897 posts, read 18,436,641 times
Reputation: 3884
so is this about parenting?
also, if it is obvious, what makes you think its not obvious to everyone else?
i just let people wallow in their own ignorance or stupidity. if it's obvious and they don't see it---oh well they will get it eventually.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 09:09 AM
 
10 posts, read 9,610 times
Reputation: 13
True, I guess i just feel the need to point it out, but you're right, if they don't see it, who cares?

I got called condensending because they assumed I was trying to sound above them. Its hard to read too much into text as far as emotions. But I wasnt trying to be. I really was just curious what everyone else saw that I didn't.

Example: The Walk sign comes up. I'm with my kids. But no one goes. So I ask...Why isn't everyone going? Seems a logical question to me, cuz obviously to me there's something they know that I don't.

Or like even online, people will claim to be something they aren't and I just point out "Oh anyone can claim things online, no one would know" and I'm called a troublemaker for pointing out what I simply thought an obvious and honest response. I mean cmon

But your right. If they can't see that or feel foolish because I pointed out something that was obvious and they didn't think about, thats not really my problem. If you wanna think that JoeStranger is an astronaut, knock yourself out. I was just saying anyone could claim anything they wanted but people just believe whatever you say. Whats so awful about making an observation?!

lol its so hard to not point out the obvious tho, but I'll try.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 09:22 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,020,612 times
Reputation: 32725
depends on the subject.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 11:56 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,605,736 times
Reputation: 30709
I won't even discuss the internet aspect of the OP's question because we're all opinionated on the internet. Real life is different and requires more tact.

Approach is key. Instead of telling someone where they fail in logic, it's better to say "what IF bla bla bla" like an idea came to your mind and you're brainstorming with them and tossing it out for consideration. If they don't embrace it, you just let it go---depending on subject and importance. You don't debate and push friends unless their safety is at stake.

People with mild autism tend to be literal and think that everyone would want to know their shortcomings so they can correct them. Their not criticizing people. They truly think a person would want to know what they are doing wrong. Roseannad's walk sign scenario reminds me of this if she's saying it to other strangers standing on the corner and not just her children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2010, 12:07 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,330,244 times
Reputation: 8075
The only time I feel the need to stick my nose into someone else's business is when I think what they are doing is potentially harmful and bothersome to them and others.
And also there is a way to approach it, approaching it in a kind and tactful manner is very important.
Blabbing out your opinions in the way that shows that you think you are right and someone else is completely wrong puts people on a defense immediately and they stop hearing what you are saying or trying to convey.

I would surprised if anyone got upset with your comment during the "walk sign" situation.

Last edited by max's mama; 03-13-2010 at 12:19 PM.. Reason: spelling.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top