Rewarding kids may not be the best motivator for Success
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From a behaviorist standpoint, reinforcing desired behavior only really works in the long term if the chosen reinforcement is a tool that is gradually faded out until the desired behavior has become embedded as habit, and is done for that reason, rather than specifically to access whatever the reward/reinforcer is. Long-term behavioral modification is done by at first reinforcing the desired behavior every time, and gradually making the reinforcement more sporadic, eventually fading it as the behavior becomes habitual and that particular reinforcement is no longer necessary.
From a behaviorist standpoint, reinforcing desired behavior only really works in the long term if the chosen reinforcement is a tool that is gradually faded out until the desired behavior has become embedded as habit, and is done for that reason, rather than specifically to access whatever the reward/reinforcer is. Long-term behavioral modification is done by at first reinforcing the desired behavior every time, and gradually making the reinforcement more sporadic, eventually fading it as the behavior becomes habitual and that particular reinforcement is no longer necessary.
Good point. Some things parents do naturally fade. For example, paying for good grades isn't usually continued into college but by then, kids should have learned how to get them. Either they've learned to care enough to continue to work for them or they haven't and there's nothing you can really do at that point.
I never bribed my kids to do anything. My daughter has asked me what I'll pay her to do some things I ask her to do. HAHAHAHA is all I can say. I tell her YOU LIVE HERE. How much do I get paid to do everything else? Zippo. Nothing. You're a part of a family and expected to do SOMETHING to participate in being a part of it.
Even when small, I never bribed or paid, just required.
Bribes and reinforcement aren't the same thing, though, within the context of behavioral sciences. A reinforcer or reward is something that's contracted for prior to the person delivering on the desired behavior, and not received until after the behavior occurs. Bribes are given before the behavior occurs, in anticipation that the person will follow through on the agreed upon behavior after the payoff...which definitely doesn't always occur (to illustrate, think of a politician being paid off for promising to vote a certain way...and then not actually following through after accepting the bribe).
Reinforcing/reward systems also only work if the reinforcer is valued enough to make it worthwhile, and if it can't be easily obtained any other way.
Bribes and reinforcement aren't the same thing, though, within the context of behavioral sciences. A reinforcer or reward is something that's contracted for prior to the person delivering on the desired behavior, and not received until after the behavior occurs. Bribes are given before the behavior occurs, in anticipation that the person will follow through on the agreed upon behavior after the payoff...which definitely doesn't always occur (to illustrate, think of a politician being paid off for promising to vote a certain way...and then not actually following through after accepting the bribe).
Reinforcing/reward systems also only work if the reinforcer is valued enough to make it worthwhile, and if it can't be easily obtained any other way.
Again, I agree
Sadly, not all parents are up to the work involved in understanding this and following thru on it.
But like I said before, when done properly reinforcement (or reward) can be VERY effective. My father was skilled at this and turned out highly successful, self-motivated children as a result. I believe I have followed in his footsteps, as my sons are equally successful and self-motivated young men.
I never bribed my kids to do anything. My daughter has asked me what I'll pay her to do some things I ask her to do. HAHAHAHA is all I can say. I tell her YOU LIVE HERE. How much do I get paid to do everything else? Zippo. Nothing. You're a part of a family and expected to do SOMETHING to participate in being a part of it.
Even when small, I never bribed or paid, just required.
I agree with this SOO much! My husband and I don't get paid to wash the dishes, so why should they?
I agree with this SOO much! My husband and I don't get paid to wash the dishes, so why should they?
I know !! All I can do is laugh when I'm asked, 'What are you going to give me if I do that'? She knows it's no use asking, but she must think it doesn't hurt to try.
I have only given verbal reinforcement. It's more effective than anything material.
We've never paid for regular household chores, those are expected as part of being a family....we do sometimes have opportunities to earn money doing "extras" however....The paint on the deck railing needs to be scraped then repainted, the garage needs to be cleaned out, there is more that a little weeding that needs to be done. These are not normal chores and typically aren't something I want to do either. It is sometimes worth it to me to pay someone else to do it.
We've never paid for regular household chores, those are expected as part of being a family....we do sometimes have opportunities to earn money doing "extras" however....The paint on the deck railing needs to be scraped then repainted, the garage needs to be cleaned out, there is more that a little weeding that needs to be done. These are not normal chores and typically aren't something I want to do either. It is sometimes worth it to me to pay someone else to do it.
Yeah, those are execptions I make too. Since they don't get paid for chores, they can always come ask me for jobs to do such as cleaning garage, scraping out oven, etc. so they can have 10$ to go to a movie or wherever. The jobs have to be done to the best of their ability though.. just because they do it doesn't mean they're getting money.
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