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Old 03-16-2010, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,960 posts, read 83,789,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paulpan View Post
I think, a good manners are a weakness of many Americans. We don't even have to go as far as talking about how to ware a skirt.
A few examples:
People (especially young ones) do not say Hello/Good Morning when entering a room/house, where another human is present at the given moment.
People often do not introduce themselves after picking up the phone.
Salesperson would ask you "How can I help", then turns her head away, and finishes the talk with her cooworker.
Man is offering a hand (to shake) to a woman when introducing himself.
The list could go on. I've experienced a lot of surprises when I moved to The US, long time ago. Do not misunderstand, I'm not criticising anyone, just brought up some observations, since this thread seems to be about manners.
A lot of adults do not say "Hello/Good Morning/Afternoon" when they walk into a room. They sort of pretend the other persons are not there. I taught my daughter to be the first to greet another and not be shy about that.

I also say Hello or good morning if I am walking on the street and someone is approaching; however, I don't do that where I work because I work in Manhattan and if everyone in the city said Hello to everyone they pass on the street it would get really really weird.
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Old 03-16-2010, 07:37 PM
 
115 posts, read 272,924 times
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Quote:
Not ALL girls sit with their legs spread wide open in a skirt. If they do, it's because they either aren't thinking about it or they forgot. So many skirts nowadays are "skorts" with built-in shorts underneath. My daughter is always sitting criss-cross with skirts on and I always have to remind her that she can't do that when she's got a skirt on. She's 7 and I imagine I'll have to reinforce this rule for a while. The reason the OP noticed this girl in particular was because she was the only one, right? That means there were dozens of other girls sitting appropriately. Let's not blow this out of proportion.
um no it was almost all the girls who were wearing a skirt that were sitting with legs open. If it were just one, I don't think the band director would have blanched! Admittedly, it was middle school, and I think most if not all the girl usually wore pants on a day to day basis. Yes I agree about the boys, but here its more wearing the skinny girl jeans with little t-shirts, more than showing their boxers. And some of the moms here are wearing the same type outfits as the high school girls --too small shirts with painted on hip huggers and flip flops.
Yes, I know its like music, each generation disparages the next's taste. But have you just walked through the girls department in wal-mart and target lately? The clothes are scaled down teen clothes. When my niece was living with us, it was very hard to find her clothes that fit with my dh's approval. Her mom(7yrs younger than me) was buying her "bootylisous" clothes and not knowing why we said "no way, no how."
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Old 03-16-2010, 07:39 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
49,968 posts, read 63,277,013 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poppiepc View Post
Recently, I went to my son's band recital and most of the young ladies were in skirts. Unfortunately, most were also sitting with their legs spread. I called over the female band director and asked that she correct the situation. She looked over her shoulder, blanched and spoke quietly to each girl. Problem (mostly) solved.

I was taught from a young age how to sit, get in and out of a car, and how to kneel or squat in a skirt. It really doesn't look like much is being said to girls about this and other dressing issues.

It must be the style now, because I have seen so many young ladies wearing black bras under white shirts and the same color issue with pants.

At 41, I don't understand the "show them all you got" mentality. I guess its just a generational thing. Am I just hopelessly old fashion, or does this bother anyone else?
Oh, Honey, I feel your pain. There are so many things that were taught to us a generation ago which are not considered important anymore. Some, I think, were not important (things that were expected of us only for the benefit of impressing the neighbors) but others I'm sad to see go.
Is it because mothers aren't home enough anymore?
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Old 03-16-2010, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,135,288 times
Reputation: 2371
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppiepc View Post
um no it was almost all the girls who were wearing a skirt that were sitting with legs open. If it were just one, I don't think the band director would have blanched! Admittedly, it was middle school, and I think most if not all the girl usually wore pants on a day to day basis. Yes I agree about the boys, but here its more wearing the skinny girl jeans with little t-shirts, more than showing their boxers. And some of the moms here are wearing the same type outfits as the high school girls --too small shirts with painted on hip huggers and flip flops.
Yes, I know its like music, each generation disparages the next's taste. But have you just walked through the girls department in wal-mart and target lately? The clothes are scaled down teen clothes. When my niece was living with us, it was very hard to find her clothes that fit with my dh's approval. Her mom(7yrs younger than me) was buying her "bootylisous" clothes and not knowing why we said "no way, no how."
Believe me...I understand. I have a daughter who is 7 but extremely tall for her age so she wears a size 10/12 and a shoe size 6. I never thought I would have to have a discussion with my daughter about why she is not allowed to wear pants with the word "Juicy" on her butt, but here we go. I also volunteer in her class and see for myself all of the inches of underwear showing as they sit on the carpet because it's impossible to find pants that aren't low rise. It's easier to find kids clothes that make them look like hookers than it is to find ones that let them look like kids. I have spent countless hours on line and finding certain stores to frequent in order to find clothes that make my kid look like a kid and not Brittney Spears.

Again, though...kids (and especially teenagers) are as dumb today as we were when we were teenagers. I came to age in the 80s, so my mom got to see me embracing Madonna (the Like a Virgin stage when it was well beyond shocking) and Boy George and singing "Relax" (which is a song about masturbation) at the top of my lungs. My grandparents were horrified when Elvis shook his pelvis and my mom declared her undying love of him and his music.

This too shall pass. For every kid and mother dressing like hookers, there are others who dress just fine. They don't call them "Mom jeans" for nothing!
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Old 03-16-2010, 08:16 PM
 
115 posts, read 272,924 times
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I don't think its about stay at home vs working parents. I think its about how involved you are in their lives. I have known stay at home moms who put the kids out the door the moment dad left, and they were told not to come home until 1/2 hour before he was expected home. And I have known working parents who spent more quality time with their kids than most at homers.

Mostly its about wanting to do the "raising" of your children yourself! I have done both at home and work at different times in my boys' childhood. But between dh and I, we made sure someone was home when they were(exception being when I was in the Navy.) Its hard to be on different schedules sometimes, but so worth it!
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Old 03-16-2010, 08:58 PM
 
241 posts, read 266,400 times
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Well, I am trying to do this but my daughter is only 3.
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Old 03-16-2010, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,772,135 times
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My 2nd grade girls won't wear skirts unless they have tights on. They feel more comfortable and can play better outside and not have to worry about modesty with pants on. And that is fine by me. I personally haven't worn a skirt in at least 10 years. Who needs em? and panty house???forget it and I/m way past the bare leg look anyhow.
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Old 03-16-2010, 11:25 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,887,646 times
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I was just thinking how glad I am I don't have girls, when I remembered my son went to school today with his pants on backwards.

Who knows, perhaps a number of parents realized thier daughter was not sitting properly but didn't know how to correct the situation without embarrassing thier child even more--and were relieved when the band director corrected it. I'm an optimistic person.
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Old 03-16-2010, 11:34 PM
 
4,796 posts, read 22,834,796 times
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Why aren't you criticizing all the guys who don't know how to wear pants (at their waistline)? And why aren't you asking why it sounds like all the girls were required to wear skirts? Why weren't they allowed to wear pants?

What is this, 1950?
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Old 03-16-2010, 11:52 PM
 
10,629 posts, read 26,623,399 times
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I think this is being blown out of proportion. I agree with those who have suggested that these girls probably rarely wear skirts, and simply didn't stop to think about the implications of wearing skirts versus pants. Probably no one had stopped to think that it was necessary to point out the obvious, but presumably before any future concert the director (or parents) will remind those who are wearing skirts that they should pay attention to how they're sitting. I'd just chalk it up to a teaching moment and move on.
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