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Old 03-17-2010, 03:07 AM
 
12 posts, read 27,742 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poppiepc View Post
Recently, I went to my son's band recital and most of the young ladies were in skirts. Unfortunately, most were also sitting with their legs spread. I called over the female band director and asked that she correct the situation. She looked over her shoulder, blanched and spoke quietly to each girl. Problem (mostly) solved.

I was taught from a young age how to sit, get in and out of a car, and how to kneel or squat in a skirt. It really doesn't look like much is being said to girls about this and other dressing issues.

It must be the style now, because I have seen so many young ladies wearing black bras under white shirts and the same color issue with pants.

At 41, I don't understand the "show them all you got" mentality. I guess its just a generational thing. Am I just hopelessly old fashion, or does this bother anyone else?
I don't see how girls can dress like that either. I can't believe how young girls would do anything to get attention, and I can't believe parents often ignore that.
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Old 03-17-2010, 07:06 AM
 
5,064 posts, read 15,837,735 times
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Why does the SAHM vs working mom debate always get brought into parenting discussions? Surely even a working mom can manage to find the time to go her dd's band concert in the evening, and teach her how to wear a skirt.

Most girls will learn how to properly wear skirts by the time they older, I think the OP said it was middle school. As previously pointed out, girls just don't wear skirts as often as they did years ago. When my dd was in band during high school, (she's in college now) I never noticed the girls sitting improperly during the band concerts. And thankfully boys wearing their pants with their cracks hanging out has been out of style for a while here. I will agree that in general some high school girls dress like hookers, though----but it's not the norm. Believe me, those girls have a reputation known by the rest of the kids. Girls like that have always been around.
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Old 03-17-2010, 07:37 AM
 
115 posts, read 273,082 times
Reputation: 104
Quote:
Why aren't you criticizing all the guys who don't know how to wear pants (at their waistline)? And why aren't you asking why it sounds like all the girls were required to wear skirts? Why weren't they allowed to wear pants?

What is this, 1950?
First off I have boys, and they wear blue jeans w/belt at their waist, and plain t-shirts that go well below the top of their jeans -- this is their choice of dress, and they have been picking out their own clothes since they were around 8. Next,
Quote:
Yes I agree about the boys, but here its more wearing the skinny girl jeans with little t-shirts, more than showing their boxers.
As you can see I did talk about the boys' choice of dress where I live.
And finally
Quote:
Recently, I went to my son's band recital and most of the young ladies were in skirts.
I clearly said MOST, not ALL the girls, it was not required. The note that went home said the kids should dress like they would for going out to a nice dinner or going to church Sunday morning. Most women now days do wear pants to eat out and go to church, so the girls who chose to wear pants were not criticized or asked to leave. Even the children who showed up in jeans or shorts were accepted as they were as our district does have some families with little to no disposable income.

Thank you to all who have posted! I really enjoy getting different perspectives on issues, sometimes ppl will bring up something that makes perfect sense. And then I think "Now, why couldn't I come up with that??!"
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:59 AM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,014,128 times
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Honestly, I haven't noticed this issue to be a big problem at my kids' school. For the most part, they all seem to display reasonable decorum.
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Old 03-17-2010, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,137,064 times
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As a mom, I've come to the understanding that I can only control what my daughter does. She is not allowed to wear "hooker clothes" and I spend time sharing my opinions of short shorts and tube tops and string bikinis, and I think it has sunk in. She's could wear all of those clothes and look cute (she's 7!) but she is not allowed to wear any of those things. I will work my hardest to preserve her childhood and I can only hope that as she gets older, she understands that not everything needs to be hanging out. It will be a battle but I will not allow her to look like a prostitute, no matter how many kids are doing it and no matter how many of her favorite singers are doing it.

BTW, true story: When I was 6, my family was getting ready for church and the kids were putting on a Christmas pageant. My mom made me a red dress and laid out my clothes to wear and then left to get my little sister (who was 2) ready. We all rushed out the door. When it was time for the kids to start singing, I had a solo and then was supposed to sit down on the stage afterwards. I sat down and decided to sit criss-cross. My underwear wasn't showing, but my mom (and everyone else in the church) got to see my legs crossed...with one white sock and one navy blue sock! Apparently, the tights my mom laid out were too hard to put on so I went to my sock drawer. My mom was in the audience trying to get me to tuck my dress over my legs but I thought she was just waving, so I waved back. No harm done, but makes for a great story for my mom to tell. Kids are just kids. Very few kids do stuff on purpose. Sometimes as a parent, you just have to laugh.
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Old 03-17-2010, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
1,921 posts, read 4,757,077 times
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I'm just glad I have boys, at least they won't get berated by society for how they dress or act, since boys will be boys, right?
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Old 03-17-2010, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,137,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonwalkr View Post
I'm just glad I have boys, at least they won't get berated by society for how they dress or act, since boys will be boys, right?
Perhaps as a mom of boys you can teach them that they should have respect for women and even though a girl may dress and leave nothing to the imagination...looking and pursuing are two different things. Boys WILL be boys...they have hormones and aren't looking for rocket scientists when they're teenagers. It's about boobs. It's your job to explain to boys that "bimboland is a nice place to visit, but you don't buy a house there". Girls with self-respect who are at the top of the dating pool don't dress like hookers.
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Old 03-17-2010, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Idaho
121 posts, read 346,499 times
Reputation: 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by the3Ds View Post
Perhaps as a mom of boys you can teach them that they should have respect for women... It's your job to explain to boys that "bimboland is a nice place to visit, but you don't buy a house there". Girls with self-respect who are at the top of the dating pool don't dress like hookers.
I agree.

When I was young, my mom wouldn't let my sisters wear any skirt that didn't reach to their knees. My wife felt the same way about my daughters. It pretty much solves the problem at the band concert. if the skirt is long enough, even sitting legs apart (if the skirt is even loose enough to allow that) doesn't show anything.
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Old 03-17-2010, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,284,073 times
Reputation: 53066
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisdol View Post
I wonder if its because girls do not wear skirts as often as they used to?
I would imagine this is it. While parents still dress toddler-aged girls in skirts and dresses from time to time, it's fairly rare for elementary to middle-school aged girls to wear skirts of their own volition unless they have to for uniform reasons or it's required/suggested for an event like a music performance. Certain traditionally feminine attire takes some practice to move around in properly and gracefully. I've judged a lot of band and choir solo and ensemble events, and there's nothing more painfully awkward than a 13-year old girl who's used to slouching around in jeans and track pants trying really hard to look poised and confident in a skirt, hose, and heels that she probably wears two times a year. If these girls don't dress up often, it's not second nature to them to do everything they need to do to look pulled together (and, in some cases, not obscene).
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:50 PM
 
67 posts, read 107,057 times
Reputation: 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
I think this is being blown out of proportion. I agree with those who have suggested that these girls probably rarely wear skirts, and simply didn't stop to think about the implications of wearing skirts versus pants. Probably no one had stopped to think that it was necessary to point out the obvious, but presumably before any future concert the director (or parents) will remind those who are wearing skirts that they should pay attention to how they're sitting. I'd just chalk it up to a teaching moment and move on.
I agree - I think some people are looking to argue when there's nothing to agrue about.
And to whoever says it's very difficult to find appropriate clothing for their daughters, I am having the same problem. My 12 yo is a 16 for length but a 10 slim for waist. Clothes are made so short and wide these days (don't even get me started on the low rise waists!) it's impossible to find properly fitting jeans for a lanky girl. I refuse to shop at Justice, Abercrombie, Hollister etc. because so much of their stuff is inaproppriate for preteens to be wearing.
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