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Old 03-23-2010, 03:18 PM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,840,258 times
Reputation: 12273

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JC JC Mom View Post
You actually have me here laughing I love this thread.

I have a 9 year old so i do have time before the teen years really kicks in although she does call me at work Every Day I've told her she can call me if its important. If its something not important just call me at 4:30... Never listens everyday I get a call around 4:00 pm asking:

What are you making for dinner?
How do you spell this word? there are other adults there to help her.. LOL
Lil brother just took her notebook!

I could go on and on... LOL
Today he called me and interrupted my student's lesson to tell me that he squatted 300 lb. While I am proud of him for increasing his strength, I really think that he could have waited until he got home from lacrosse practice to tell me that. Ugh!
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Old 03-24-2010, 03:11 AM
 
Location: SE Florida
9,367 posts, read 25,158,302 times
Reputation: 9454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Today he called me and interrupted my student's lesson to tell me that he squatted 300 lb. While I am proud of him for increasing his strength, I really think that he could have waited until he got home from lacrosse practice to tell me that. Ugh!
Okay, I am going to call off topic on this....

It should be in a thread titled something along the lines of-

How you know you have a good relationship with your teen
OR
How to tell that you have done something right
OR
I done good and here's how I know

For him to be so proud of his accomplishment and wanting to share it wit his mom right away...makes me smile just thinking about it
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Old 03-24-2010, 07:06 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,840,258 times
Reputation: 12273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom View Post
Okay, I am going to call off topic on this....

It should be in a thread titled something along the lines of-

How you know you have a good relationship with your teen
OR
How to tell that you have done something right
OR
I done good and here's how I know

For him to be so proud of his accomplishment and wanting to share it wit his mom right away...makes me smile just thinking about it
Thanks. He's a good kid and gives me no real problems. He does share his life with me, and after some of the things people here post I am happy about that. I just wish he would remember that I have students at the house on Tuesday afternoons.
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Old 03-24-2010, 02:23 PM
pll
 
1,112 posts, read 2,479,004 times
Reputation: 1130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom View Post
Okay, I am going to call off topic on this....

It should be in a thread titled something along the lines of-

How you know you have a good relationship with your teen
OR
How to tell that you have done something right
OR
I done good and here's how I know

For him to be so proud of his accomplishment and wanting to share it wit his mom right away...makes me smile just thinking about it
I agree. It's better he call you instead of some bimbo.
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Old 03-25-2010, 06:01 AM
 
Location: SE Florida
9,367 posts, read 25,158,302 times
Reputation: 9454
We are packing to move. The kids are to pack two boxes a day. On Wed., with no boxes yet packed, DS asks to go to an event.

Me: No, you haven't packed any boxes yet.
He: But I'll pack eight tomorrow night.
Me: No
He: But you never told me we had to do that
Me: Yes I did
He: But I was listening to my IPod. I can't hear you when I have it on.

This took place while driving the kids to school. I was thinking of you guys during the convo. I had just taken a sip of coffee when he came out with that last line and literally inhaled as I tried to stifle my laughter....resulting in me spewing it out and down the front of my shirt as I was coughing.

Now we have a new rule- no IPod during the drive home. I think he heard me....
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Old 03-26-2010, 03:00 PM
 
68 posts, read 168,578 times
Reputation: 86
I need advice:
I have a 20 yr old son who was THE PERFECT CHILD AND TEENAGER. Now that he is 20, he's gone off the deep end. Since he was such a great teenager, I never set a curfew, never was very strict on him, simply because I didn't have to be. I didn't have to tell him he needed to be home by 9pm on weekdays, he just did it because he knew he needed rest and he was usually tired from Football or baseball, or whatever sport he was playing at the time. I didn't have to tell him to let me know where he was going, he always told me before I asked. I didn't have to tell him to clean his room...he knew I expected it. Oh I guess at some point, I told him he wasn't going anywhere until his room was cleaned, and that was it, one time. I probably told him 1 time to be home by 9, and 1 time to let me know where he was going. I knew all his friends and their parents and they mostly hung out at our house.
He always had good grades and is very atheletic. He got a football scholarship for college, but ended up with a knee injury. So he came home, got his knee repaired, and went to work until school started the next semester. He really liked the full time pay and overtime, so instead of going back to school the next semester, he continued to work. (By the way, he worked 2rd shift, and with overtime, sometimes didn't get home until 2-3 in the morning. Again, no curfew, he was working)
So, he gets laid off from his job because of the economy. He now draws $200/wk in unemployment benefits but is going to a local college full time.
He is lovin life...not working, getting paid anyway. He has hooked up with people I don't know at college. He's playing in a band with people I don't know. He's staying out all hours of the night and bringing people to our house. I'm pretty sure he is drinking, although no proof that he is drinking and driving. He came home this morning at 4:30am.
He is setting a horrible example for his 17yr old brother, and so am I for allowing it.

He is living at our house, but pays his way for everything, including $200/mo rent to us, most of his food, car insurance, cell phone etc. and has since he came home from college.

How do I set a curfew after so many years of not having one? How do I get him back on track? He seems to be just floating around with no destination. I feel like he already grew up and now he's regressing...maybe he's a late bloomer and just now becoming a "real teenager". I don't know.
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Old 03-26-2010, 03:56 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,680,223 times
Reputation: 2194
At twenty years old you can make rules in your house, but you can't tell him what time to be in at night. He needs to find himself a little apartment somewhere and move into it.
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:15 PM
pll
 
1,112 posts, read 2,479,004 times
Reputation: 1130
Quote:
Originally Posted by plfriend View Post
He is setting a horrible example for his 17yr old brother, and so am I for allowing it.

He is living at our house, but pays his way for everything, including $200/mo rent to us, most of his food, car insurance, cell phone etc. and has since he came home from college.

How do I set a curfew after so many years of not having one? How do I get him back on track? He seems to be just floating around with no destination. I feel like he already grew up and now he's regressing...maybe he's a late bloomer and just now becoming a "real teenager". I don't know.
You can't enforce a curfew with him because of his age. He sounds like he's a pretty good kid overall who is going through a transition. I have an 18 year old college student at home who sometimes comes in too late. I ask her if it is possible that she be considerate of our feelings because the first thing a parent does is think of the worst. Second, I usually ask the question " What would you do if your dad or I came home in the early morning hours? Wouldn't you be concerned? Can you show us the same respect?" They are adults now. I've had this conversation a couple times and thankfully it has worked.

My oldest child was a collegiate athlete with a paid scholarship who suffered from a knee injury, surgery, 9 month rehab her freshman year. Her knee never fully recovered and she decided to quit playing. It was an adjustment for her and there was some sadness that goes along with this. When your child has devoted many years to something, received lots of recognition and praise and then quits it takes awhile to regroup. She has benefited from some counselling sessions which have really helped and has decided to make some new goals to work toward. It sounds like your son has lost his footing a little but he will most likely get it back because he had a good foundation. I would some heart to heart talks.
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Old 03-29-2010, 06:27 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
12,475 posts, read 32,171,837 times
Reputation: 9450
I have a 16 year old drama queen and I am soooo fed up with her!

EVERY Monday, she wakes up in a bad mood and tries to CRY her way out of going to school. I know she is tired because SHE slept on Sat. and Sunday until 2PM and then couldn't fall asleep. So, on Sunday night...she can't fall asleep until 3AM and when she gets up at 6AM, she is tired. I get that. But...is it my responsibility to put her to bed and wake her up on the weekends at a reasonable hour so that her sleep pattern stays right? I have explained this over and over to her that it is her responsibility. I know when I was 16, I went to bed at 11PM because I knew that I needed sleep in order to get up and get to school.

She is our 4th and the last one at home. She is the only one that didn't get a job at 14 to pay for a car. Is it because she is the "baby"?

This morning, she argued with hubby until he finally told her to "just stay home" and then she told him, "no, I'm going to school because if I stay home, I'm going to just kill myself". He gets very upset when she says that. I think that is the reason she says it. She is wearing him out, as well.

Any suggestions?
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Old 03-29-2010, 08:12 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,680,223 times
Reputation: 2194
Quote:
Originally Posted by VickiR View Post
I have a 16 year old drama queen and I am soooo fed up with her!

EVERY Monday, she wakes up in a bad mood and tries to CRY her way out of going to school. I know she is tired because SHE slept on Sat. and Sunday until 2PM and then couldn't fall asleep. So, on Sunday night...she can't fall asleep until 3AM and when she gets up at 6AM, she is tired. I get that. But...is it my responsibility to put her to bed and wake her up on the weekends at a reasonable hour so that her sleep pattern stays right? I have explained this over and over to her that it is her responsibility. I know when I was 16, I went to bed at 11PM because I knew that I needed sleep in order to get up and get to school.
She is our 4th and the last one at home. She is the only one that didn't get a job at 14 to pay for a car. Is it because she is the "baby"?
Any suggestions?
Yes, set a bedtime for her. I have a 16 year old girl myself with the same problem. Her bedtime is 10PM whether it's a school night or not, whether she likes it or not. There are two nights she is allowed to stay up until 11. She hates waking up at 6AM but gets up ok when we stick to the bedtime.
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