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Old 03-29-2010, 08:25 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,838,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VickiR View Post
I have a 16 year old drama queen and I am soooo fed up with her!

EVERY Monday, she wakes up in a bad mood and tries to CRY her way out of going to school. I know she is tired because SHE slept on Sat. and Sunday until 2PM and then couldn't fall asleep. So, on Sunday night...she can't fall asleep until 3AM and when she gets up at 6AM, she is tired. I get that. But...is it my responsibility to put her to bed and wake her up on the weekends at a reasonable hour so that her sleep pattern stays right? I have explained this over and over to her that it is her responsibility. I know when I was 16, I went to bed at 11PM because I knew that I needed sleep in order to get up and get to school.

She is our 4th and the last one at home. She is the only one that didn't get a job at 14 to pay for a car. Is it because she is the "baby"?

This morning, she argued with hubby until he finally told her to "just stay home" and then she told him, "no, I'm going to school because if I stay home, I'm going to just kill myself". He gets very upset when she says that. I think that is the reason she says it. She is wearing him out, as well.

Any suggestions?
I would step in here and help her regulate her sleep schedule. It's ok to let kids try to do things on their own (I am a big fan of it) but sometimes they are just not ready to do it themselves. It seems like you have that sort of situation on your hands.

Wake her up early (by 10) on the weekends. Have her go to bed before midnight even on the weekends.
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Old 03-29-2010, 04:31 PM
pll
 
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I was concerned about the sleep habits of my teen. I asked our family doctor about it. She said teens can at times be nocturnal. As long as they get 8-10 hours sleep in a 24 hr period they should be okay. Any thoughts?
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Old 03-30-2010, 07:55 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,838,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pll View Post
I was concerned about the sleep habits of my teen. I asked our family doctor about it. She said teens can at times be nocturnal. As long as they get 8-10 hours sleep in a 24 hr period they should be okay. Any thoughts?
It's probably variable by the child. You really have to see if their behavior is affected by their sleep habits and act accordingly. If they are behaving ok (for teens) and doing well in school you can probably let them go their own way. If not, they may still need your guidance. Kids are different.
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Old 03-30-2010, 08:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pll View Post
I was concerned about the sleep habits of my teen. I asked our family doctor about it. She said teens can at times be nocturnal. As long as they get 8-10 hours sleep in a 24 hr period they should be okay. Any thoughts?
I've heard that as well. HOWEVER, a family is not nocturnal and it is very dangerous to allow a teen to become nocturnal. What is there for them to do in the middle of the night? Teens get restless and with that comes trouble in the night. To avoid that from happening, that teen has to be kept from becoming nocturnal.

My daughter wants to stay up half the night and sleep during the day like most do. Her bedtime is 10 PM (she's 16). Even when there is no school. Weekend mornings I make as much noise around the house as I can to keep her from thinking she can sleep until noon. I wake her and talk to her. She hates it, but there is no way she will start that transition.

We've been dealing with it for about a year now, and I think she is finally realizing that going to bed at night is the only way she can survive in this house and get enough sleep.

When she complains that she doesn't want to get up in the morning (6 for school) I simply tell her she can remedy that. I tell her that she can't control the morning end of her sleep, but she CAN control the night end of it. If you want more sleep, go to bed earlier at night. Easy. She doesn't fight the 10 PM so much anymore.
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:36 AM
 
48,505 posts, read 96,603,039 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom View Post
This is just a venting thread for parents of teens. There are worse problems that we could be dealing with, but that doesn't make the little things less frustrating. Like Chinese water torture, they try to wear us down!

My vent:

Sunday-

HE: Mom, can I go to youth group with Pam on Wed. night?
ME: Sure, as long as you keep up with your chores. (cleaning kitchen, taking out trash)

Monday-

ME: Tommy, you need to get this kitchen done.
HE: I will.

Tuesday-

HE: So I can go tomorrow night?
ME: I don't know, the kitchen hasn't been done.

Wednesday, 7:30am-

HE via text while on the way to school: So I'm not going to youth tonight?
ME via text: No. The kitchen has not been cleaned.
HE via text: Well what if I clean it when I get home?
ME via text: No.

Why can't his determination be directed to his school work?!!!

Thank you for letting me vent. I feel better now!
Because he has no self displend yet. that is why you enforce it as a parent. Its called teaching responsibilty. Also rememeber when they say I wish get that; well I don't see why not you have been going a good job lately on your chores. Make something he likes ;saying I knew you would nbe hungary after workign so hard ;so I made you....
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Old 03-31-2010, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Denver
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Our son (16) doesn't have a bedtime. But he regulates himself because he doesn't want to be miserable. He gets up at 6am on school days. Just a few times of feeling tired was enough for him to get to bed earlier than he was going to bed at.

On Sundays he has to get up even earlier to get to work.

He really appreciates those Saturdays when he can sleep to whenever!

Each child is different (some would never want to go to bed earlier on their own even if they were exhausted all the time), each family is different (he's an only child and we don't rush anywhere on Saturdays so sleeping in is not big deal). There's no one good answer for all.
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Old 03-31-2010, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,376,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop View Post
Our son (16) doesn't have a bedtime. But he regulates himself because he doesn't want to be miserable. He gets up at 6am on school days. Just a few times of feeling tired was enough for him to get to bed earlier than he was going to bed at.

On Sundays he has to get up even earlier to get to work.

He really appreciates those Saturdays when he can sleep to whenever!

Each child is different (some would never want to go to bed earlier on their own even if they were exhausted all the time), each family is different (he's an only child and we don't rush anywhere on Saturdays so sleeping in is not big deal). There's no one good answer for all.
Yep....we never gave either of ours bedtimes once they were in HS...They know what they have to get done and what time they need to get up in the morning. (I also don't wake them up in the morning....once they were in about 6th grade it was their responsibility to get up at an appropriate time) My DD was more of a night owl. She always got to school on time and had everything done so how late she stayed up was really up to her - although now that she is in college (and done with freshman year - I don't think anyone sleeps then ...) she is in bed much earlier. DS has never been a night person - by the time he gets home from school and lacrosse practice (or game) he does his homework and goes to bed. It's a rare occasion for him to be up much past 10 (he'd prefer to be in bed at 9 honestly).
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Old 05-16-2010, 08:21 AM
 
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Mine are in HS also 9th and 11th grade- they don't have a bedtime either -both make good grades and know hen they need to go to bed-they both are up and ready for school every day- I am a very punctual person and very happy that they are also- my neighbor's HS child is always leaving late-they are not punctual people-they were always late taking her to elementary school-
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Old 05-16-2010, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Centereach
481 posts, read 1,057,432 times
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Yikes, you just reminded me to ask my kid if she fed her frogs (she didn't). Those poor frogs.
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Old 05-16-2010, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,190 posts, read 7,952,374 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
I've heard that as well. HOWEVER, a family is not nocturnal and it is very dangerous to allow a teen to become nocturnal. What is there for them to do in the middle of the night? Teens get restless and with that comes trouble in the night. To avoid that from happening, that teen has to be kept from becoming nocturnal.
Not quite.
I have been like that since I was 16 and it still carries on now and I am almost 21.
I have tried and tried and tried to go to bed that early and the only time I can is if I go stay up all night and all day and go to bed at 10pm and that last 1 or 2 days and then I just stop getting tired that early and I go to bed at 11 or 12 and then it just keeps getting higher.

It's not "dangerous" when I was 16 I was up till 12am on the weekdays. I would get done with anything "noisy" before 10pm and then I would go in my room, read, go online(I had a laptop in my room), I would organize my closet, I basically just stayed in my room and was quiet till about 12am and then fell asleep.
Weekends, I was up much later doing the same things. Except my curfew was 12am and I would get home various times depending on what I went to do and I would be up till like 3-4am but I never left the house and I just usually stayed in my room and did things to relax or fix up my room or went online.

I have to tell you, you daughter DOES NOT fall asleep before 12am. If she says she does she is lying or pretending to be asleep if you peek in her room. Chances are she is laying in bed not even remotely tired and is just laying there waiting to fall asleep.

I did that during the time my mom was trying to fight it, I would just lay in bed not even remotely tired, granted I had my cell phone in my room so I could stay entertained till I was able to go to sleep. I would lay in bed unable to get to sleep, all the while my mom getting pissed at me for not being asleep yet and then me getting pissed because I couldn't fall asleep to get her to stop yelling.

Now I am almost 21 and my body still functions this way. I do not choose it to do so. I could lay in bed every night starting at 10pm, not do anything but lay there and I still wouldn't fall asleep until my body was ready to. I could get up at 6am everyday and I still would not be able to fall asleep till after midnight.

My time is reversed. My family's am is my pm, vice versa. I actually sleep better this way.

Why fight nature and biology and how things naturally should be?
Its scientifically proved teenagers and young adults are like this so why fight it? I find that silly.

Maybe just let her sleep in till 11am on the weekends. Its not noon and it won't throw her off too much. What time do you make her get up on the weekends?
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