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Hi everyone. I lost my parents at a very young age (10), and I now have 2 young children. Somedays I find it really hard not to have a mom in my life. Like those days when your toddler won't listen to a word you are saying, or the baby won';t stop crying and you don't know why. The wisdom and support of your own mom seems like what the doctor ordered. I found it especially hard during both my pregnancies, which were very difficult ones. Don't get me wrong, I have a nice life and some wonderfull friends, but sometimes I feel like something is missing. Are there any other motherless moms out there? How do you cope?
Im sorry you lost your parents
Yes I can imagine it can be very difficult for you
Just to be able to go to someone for advice like a mom
I have a Mother, but she is mentally ill. I frequently wish she was "normal". It makes me sad that I don't have a normal Mom, so, I sort of know what you are going through. Like at Christmas, I invited her to come visit, and she would not, because of some bizarre reasons, and I felt very let down, and sad. But, it is not like she is normal, or ever has been, so I don't know why I expect her to act like a normal Mother. And when she does visit, it is very difficult, because she is so strict about not eating food that other cook, not eating sugar, or animal products, or wheat products, and it seems like her dietary restrictions take up most of her life. So, she won't just come over, and bake Christmas cookies, like a normal Grandmother...so, I wonder, if people who have normal parents just appreciate that...
I read through this thread and although it is an old thread felt compelled to respond anyway. My mother died when I was almost 5 years old and I still think about her every day. I did not have an environment where I felt comfortable expressing myself after she died and now I am turning to forums like these to try to understand what I am going through with my feelings of grief and yearnings for my mother who died so many years ago. I have my own family and children now and a great life but I still feel as many do here an emptiness and sadness that I cannot talk to my mother and have her to share the love for my family that I know she would feel. I have no other family that I feel close to and also she herself was a motherless child and so I feel like I am working out her issues as well, such as looking for her biological family for her. Anyway I wouldn't have been able to talk or write about such things just a few years ago and I am grateful to find that I am not alone as I always thought that I was different than anyone else in the world and that no one could understand my feelings. I also think that we are given unspoken signals to not talk about the loss of our mothers as children and that we need to support each other as much as possible.
My mother died while I was pregnant with my first child 20 years ago. I personally try not to think about it. I have no other way of handling it. The only parenting advice I received from her was "you're going to be a good mother." I latched onto those words during difficult times. It's all I had.
I think it's just because people can't relate. They can't fathom what it would be like. Lord knows, I have no idea what it would be like to lose a mother as a child. Losing my mother as an adult was BY FAR the hardest thing I've ever endured in my life. I imagine that the pain would be multiplied a million times more for someone who was a child.
I'm glad you've found the internet as a place where you can find people who are in similar situations. I think the internet has helped many people in that regard from various backgrounds and histories.
I always feel guilty saying I don't have a mother because I do, she's just not interested in being one, when there are people who had loving, caring and wonderful mothers who never had a chance to be in her shoes.
But yes I have an absent mother, she was pregnant with my oldest brother within weeks of my birth and I've taken a back seat to him and the three that followed him ever since. I've never been able to turn to her for anything, least of all advice, and it has been hard. I have been very lucky to have amazing friends and my husband's family to replace the family I feel I never really had.
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