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Old 04-05-2010, 04:49 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,676,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drjones96 View Post
I'm sorry....do you have something to add? Do you believe in ghosts?
I'm fundamentally flawed. I believe in ghosts from experience. Didn't right up to three years ago, but now I do.
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Old 04-05-2010, 06:52 PM
 
2,058 posts, read 5,845,626 times
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so OP, what's up with your daughter? I want an update! What did you decide to do?
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Old 04-05-2010, 08:28 PM
 
1,135 posts, read 2,377,297 times
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Why not create a ceremony to permanently close the "portal?" Just make something up. Invite a coworker or someone she won't recognize to come over and conduct the ceremony.

Maybe you can sprinkle some oil or water in the room, say a prayer and open and close the door to symbolize that you are closing it to evil spirits and ghosts.

She obviously believes the lie about the portal so she will probably believe in the ceremony and it will hopefully, have a placebo effect.
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Old 04-05-2010, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,089 posts, read 83,961,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
Of course there is a down side. You would be validating that yes, there IS something in the basement to be afraid of. And what if they come back?

If Dad tells them to go away, Dad knows they are in the house to begin with.
AHA! And maybe that's the problem, Dad's afraid to find out that it's true...{{JARRING CHORD}}. If they come back, ask them for next week's lottery numbers.

But seriously, I wasn't going to say it, but somebody else did.

I saw a ghost in the house I last lived in. When I first moved in I'd think I heard footsteps once in the while or a door slam, but I figured it was an old creaky house and I was probably hearing sounds carry from the house next door.

Then a few times I would see out of the corner of my eye a tall figure of a man, seeming as if he was wearing a black hat with a brim, and it would move through the dining room into the little hallway that led to the basement door and then disappear by the basement door. I figured it was my imagination or leftovers from the weed I smoked in my 20's or something. But then, I had a roommate for a while. She was unemployed and home during the day because she was going through cancer treatment. We were driving somewhere in the car one day and she started saying she thinks she hears noises in the house, like footsteps and a door slamming, and then she said, "And a couple of times I swear I saw this tall guy with a black hat walk toward the basement door..."

The funny thing is, we took in some cats after that, and every so often the cats would suddenly all dash over to the basement door and start scratching at it and sniffing it and sticking their paws underneath.

It wasn't scary. I never saw it when I looked for it; it would only happen when I wasn't expecting it. I never told my daughter because she would have been scared if she knew.
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Old 04-06-2010, 08:22 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,676,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
Of course there is a down side. You would be validating that yes, there IS something in the basement to be afraid of. And what if they come back?

If Dad tells them to go away, Dad knows they are in the house to begin with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaMc46 View Post
Why not create a ceremony to permanently close the "portal?" Just make something up. Invite a coworker or someone she won't recognize to come over and conduct the ceremony.

Maybe you can sprinkle some oil or water in the room, say a prayer and open and close the door to symbolize that you are closing it to evil spirits and ghosts.

She obviously believes the lie about the portal so she will probably believe in the ceremony and it will hopefully, have a placebo effect.
That's ridiculous to tell her that there IS something to be afraid of and there IS something in her room that needs to have a ceremony to get it out. Why validate that fear like that?

The minute a parent admits there is something to be afraid of to a child, that child will never get over that fear. They look to the parent for re-assurance and stability, not hocus pocus. Kids are afraid of what's not real. To make it real by performing an exorcism is just plain wrong.

It isn't any different than 'monster spray' for monsters under the bed. By giving something like that to a two or three year old, it's telling them that yes, there are monsters under your bed but you can get rid of them by spraying them. What if the child woke up in the night and couldn't find the monster spray? That child would know there was a monster and he or she couldn't get it to go away because they didn't have the spray.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
AHA! And maybe that's the problem, Dad's afraid to find out that it's true...{{JARRING CHORD}}. If they come back, ask them for next week's lottery numbers.

But seriously, I wasn't going to say it, but somebody else did.

I saw a ghost in the house I last lived in. When I first moved in I'd think I heard footsteps once in the while or a door slam, but I figured it was an old creaky house and I was probably hearing sounds carry from the house next door.

Then a few times I would see out of the corner of my eye a tall figure of a man, seeming as if he was wearing a black hat with a brim, and it would move through the dining room into the little hallway that led to the basement door and then disappear by the basement door. I figured it was my imagination or leftovers from the weed I smoked in my 20's or something. But then, I had a roommate for a while. She was unemployed and home during the day because she was going through cancer treatment. We were driving somewhere in the car one day and she started saying she thinks she hears noises in the house, like footsteps and a door slamming, and then she said, "And a couple of times I swear I saw this tall guy with a black hat walk toward the basement door..."

The funny thing is, we took in some cats after that, and every so often the cats would suddenly all dash over to the basement door and start scratching at it and sniffing it and sticking their paws underneath.

It wasn't scary. I never saw it when I looked for it; it would only happen when I wasn't expecting it. I never told my daughter because she would have been scared if she knew.
The bolded made me laugh, but I do believe you about the ghost. My philosophy has always been 'SHOW ME'. Well, one day, one did.
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Old 04-06-2010, 08:38 AM
 
1,492 posts, read 7,696,669 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Stephen King once wrote that when he was a kid he would not allow his foot to stick out from under the blankets because he didn't want the monster that lived under his bed to be able to grab it. And now that he's a grown man, he KNOWS there is no monster under the bed...but he's not going to stick his foot out from under the blankets because that way it cannot possibly get him.

Maybe have your daughter write some short stories?

Funny you say that- she's an author...not published, yet.
She's been writing volumes of notebooks since she was in grade school...Now she's in high school, still writing.
She wants to go to a college with a good Creative Writing program.
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Old 04-06-2010, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,089 posts, read 83,961,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VegasGrace View Post
Funny you say that- she's an author...not published, yet.
She's been writing volumes of notebooks since she was in grade school...Now she's in high school, still writing.
She wants to go to a college with a good Creative Writing program.
I am not surprised. I write, too. Imagination, obsessive tendencies, and sometimes anxiety show up pretty frequently in writer types!

Good luck to her--I hope she follows her dream!
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Old 04-06-2010, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,089 posts, read 83,961,306 times
Reputation: 114356
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
That's ridiculous to tell her that there IS something to be afraid of and there IS something in her room that needs to have a ceremony to get it out. Why validate that fear like that?

The minute a parent admits there is something to be afraid of to a child, that child will never get over that fear. They look to the parent for re-assurance and stability, not hocus pocus. Kids are afraid of what's not real. To make it real by performing an exorcism is just plain wrong.

It isn't any different than 'monster spray' for monsters under the bed. By giving something like that to a two or three year old, it's telling them that yes, there are monsters under your bed but you can get rid of them by spraying them. What if the child woke up in the night and couldn't find the monster spray? That child would know there was a monster and he or she couldn't get it to go away because they didn't have the spray.


The bolded made me laugh, but I do believe you about the ghost. My philosophy has always been 'SHOW ME'. Well, one day, one did.
If you want to tell the story, I'm all ears...but we might be getting off topic.
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Texas
8,672 posts, read 22,220,244 times
Reputation: 21364
I understand the rationale for having her face her fear etc. However, like Sandycat said, I don't think exposure therapy is a panacea for everything. Even with exposure therapy, it is done little by little. They don't just throw you in all at once.

I had fears about sleeping alone (following after a particularly scary ghost story a friend told me. See you don't even need a TV for this stuff to get started!) I got over it, but it took awhile. I agree that talking to her about the movie and the fact that it is just acting and not real may help. It won't be the total answer because most of our fears are not based on rational thought and logic. However, I think getting her to admit that this movie is just a bunch of made up ideas, not reality, MAY begin to make some inroad and help her, given some time, to get past it. Again, I don't think talking reasonably with her about the movie will immediately disable her fears. You've probably done this, in fact. But I think it WILL make some small inroads to dismantling this fear.

I would probably do that and beyond that, just let time take care of it. I think that, coupled with her increasing maturity and desire to have her own space, she WILL get beyond it but yeah, it will probably take some time.
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Old 04-06-2010, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 13,232,163 times
Reputation: 1734
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandycat View Post
so OP, what's up with your daughter? I want an update! What did you decide to do?
No change....still a little chickin sh*t....still hiding in her kindergarten sister's room every night.

The wife and I have been discussing it....and really we have no idea what to do about her. For now....the answer is 'nothing'

I appreciate the advice and insight on here by the posters though.

Edit: And oh yeah. Lil sis decided to go watch a movie in lil bro's room the other night....thereby leaving the 12 year old by herself in the 5 yr old's room. She couldn't sleep because she was scared and decided it would be better to turn the lights on. Also kept coming in our room to whine about being scared to sleep alone....several times....past midnight.

And....saturday night Lil sis and lil bro both slept downstairs in big sis's room and watched a movie together....again...leaving her to sleep by herself....scared.
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