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Old 04-21-2012, 01:49 PM
 
7,971 posts, read 7,318,592 times
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I guess it depends on the situation. If braces and acne treatment were not covered by insurance and your parents couldn't afford them, I guess I can understand why you didn't get those things. I had braces, and not for vanity reasons. I "needed" quite a bit of orthodontic work to make sure my adult teeth came in and were positioned correctly. I had acne too. Still do. I tried every over the counter treatment possible, but nothing worked. I always wished my mom had taken me to a dermatologist, but I think her feeling was that it was just part of being a teenager.

A lot of teens won't listen to their parents when they offer constructive criticism. A parent could try to steer their child toward flattering clothes, but they may not listen.

So, I guess a parent should try, but a lot of it might be out of their control.
This is SO true. When my youngest daughter (both my daughters are now in their 20's) was in high school, she went through a "goth" phase for about a year and her clothes and makeup were...bizarre. One outfit (shudder) was a black corset, short black skirt, pink and black striped leggings, and black hightops...the makeup was a lot of black eyeliner and black lipstick. She was overweight, so the outfit looked terrible on her. Of course, the other kids mocked her. I tried to help her pick out other clothes, but she fought me tooth and nail. Her dad said to leave her alone, her older sister said I should "let her express herself", so I did (but I had to bite myself hard every morning when she left the house for school wearing some horrible getup). Being made fun of didn't seem to bother her in the slightest. She didn't care what the other kids thought of her (and I ended up hearing about it). What bothered ME was how it reflected on ME as her mother.

Edit: She outgrew it, thank God. She now wears conservative, flattering clothes and little makeup.
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Clothes and grooming may not make it any better but they don't have to make it worse either.
I like my son's recent reply when I mentioned kids might make fun of him. Aw Mom, you think I care? I will tell them to stuff it.
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I like my son's recent reply when I mentioned kids might make fun of him. Aw Mom, you think I care? I will tell them to stuff it.
I like that response too. I will, however, still do what I can to make it a non-issue by removing the clothes that don't fit or are worn out from their room. I don't really see any reason not to.
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Old 04-23-2012, 03:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I like that response too. I will, however, still do what I can to make it a non-issue by removing the clothes that don't fit or are worn out from their room. I don't really see any reason not to.
Because said kid does not want you throwing away his favorite clothes. Because by not micromanaging his attire, you would be allowing that child to take responsibility for themselves. Any time you take responsibility for something that they can be responsible for, you are taking away their opportunity IMO.
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Old 04-23-2012, 03:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Because said kid does not want you throwing away his favorite clothes. Because by not micromanaging his attire, you would be allowing that child to take responsibility for themselves. Any time you take responsibility for something that they can be responsible for, you are taking away their opportunity IMO.
I'm not sure but I think your kids are a little older than mine. We'll see what I'm doing in a couple years. For now, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. It works.
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