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I kinda disagree with you. I did read your other post on page 3 but what you said here is what I don't agree with.
Apparently the OP dislikes what her daughter wears and apparently doesn't approve. Does that mean that the daughter shouldn't be allowed to wear what she is wearing?
My WHOLE life my mom has hated what I have worn.
When I was younger I was always was tomboyish I was like the OP's daughter except I loved to shower and my mom's issue was getting me to stop taking 40 minute showers.
I wore t-shirts, I wore soccer shorts or jeans etc.
When I got to 14/15 I was super self conscious, I always wore pull over hoodies from like Hollister, AberFitch or American Eagle...ALWAYS even in the summer unless I was wearing an athletic tshirt...
Now, I still always wear zip up hoodies, I now have one from Hollister that I wear all the time, mostly cause I like to hide in it with my hood up, kinda like an escape when I don't want to be bothered.
I still live at home, so technically her house her rules and she could make me wear whatever she wants me to wear but should she? No.
She would rather me wear stuff like higher rise jeans, cute tops and more mature clothes and maybe some flats or something, does that mean when I was 13-17, that I shouldn't have been allowed to wear what made me comfortable and that none of that stuff should have been allowed to be in my closet and that I should have only been able to buy/wear exactly what she wanted? No. As long as its not inappropriate then it shouldn't matter if she likes it or not.
When I have kids, as long as it fits them and my budget and it isn't slutty, I don't care if I don't like it, they have to wear it not me, they should be happy with what they are wearing...whether it be goth or prep, they should be happy as long as they don't look slutty.
im the original poster and i never said i disliked what my daughter was wearing i said that she is wearing long sleeved hoodies all day when its 90 degress and possible sweating and creating body odor that is unplseasant to people around her. she can wear whatever she wants as long as its not whorish or shows any kind of cleavage or too short shorts. i do believe that cleanliness is a must for a girl. cause lets face it if your not cleaning your pits your not cleaning down below and that has to be clean at all times. my opinion.
im the original poster and i never said i disliked what my daughter was wearing i said that she is wearing long sleeved hoodies all day when its 90 degress and possible sweating and creating body odor that is unplseasant to people around her. she can wear whatever she wants as long as its not whorish or shows any kind of cleavage or too short shorts. i do believe that cleanliness is a must for a girl. cause lets face it if your not cleaning your pits your not cleaning down below and that has to be clean at all times. my opinion.
With all due respect I would not be on a forum discussing my daugthers hygiene or lack there of. Can't you handle this in private using common sense? I can't believe you are mentioning "down below" hygiene conditions in regards to your own flesh and blood
I know I am kind of late getting in on this one but dont assume that this will get better. One of three daughters was like this at that age and it hard to know the right way to deal with it. She had a tentency to smell like......well.......dirty underwear!? Now mind you my girls were always very clean and my other two daughters were always very clean about themselves and still are. I would try to gracefully tell her to go get her bath in a nice way and it was a constant battle becuase at 12 I think a child is too old for a mom to go in a bathe her so you would have to trust that she did it when she said she did. It never got better. It did change some, she would wear deoderant but she didnt keep her body clean and didnt change her underwear for days at a time. It was awful.
She is now 21 and she regularly looks dirty. Her hair is so greasy and her clothes aren't washed regularly and are wrinkled and a mess. The other day she was at our house and she sat down on my ottoman and later that evening I kept getting a whiff of something and it ended up the smell was on the ottoman. Now...how do you deal with that??? My husband says to talk to her bluntly about it. But i have hinted around about it thinking she would be a little embarrassed and change but if anything she has gotten worse.
To make matters even worse she is heavy which means she sweats more and so on.... She now has a 12 month old daughter and she buys her all kinds of beautiful clothes and shoes but she doesnt bathe her like she should. She was diagnosed with depression and now i believe she is bipolar. She has always had very low self esteem even though she is and always has been quite pretty.....overweight though. She was also a gifted student. Anyhow i agree with the person who said to find out why she is behaving this way and i guess if i had it to do over again i would bathe her myself if i didnt think she was doing it for herself. Maybe after doing that once she would be willing to do it for herself.
With all due respect I would not be on a forum discussing my daugthers hygiene or lack there of. Can't you handle this in private using common sense? I can't believe you are mentioning "down below" hygiene conditions in regards to your own flesh and blood
Good Lord this is the perfect place to discuss this issue. We don't know who anybody is, where they live, etc. It's a great forum for sharing problems and getting possible solutions for some of these delicate issues. And if Oprah and Dr. Oz can discuss the proper shape poop should be coming out of your body then we can discuss personal hygiene.
I once posted about trouble getting a 7 year old daughter to use toilet paper and how stained her underpants were. That thread ran for several pages and I got very useful suggestions.
Back to the OP. Even if she is showering regularly and using deodorant, she might not be getting her clothes laundered as often as necessary.
I once had a college roommate who was talked about behind her back because of her BO problem. Friends asked me if she showered regularly and used deodorant and I said yes every morning. It was a mystery until I had to look in her closet for something and the minute I opened her closet door, I almost fell over gasping for breath. she was not washing her clothes after every wearing but she would iron them sometimes which only baked the odors in.
I was delegated to tell her how she was offensive and she was very embarrassed but I think we handled it well and she greatly improved. She just didn't want to take the time to wash every week and was taking some short cuts. Also her Mom always did her laundry and she really didn't know how to wash her own clothes. Sad isn't it.
Good Lord this is the perfect place to discuss this issue. We don't know who anybody is, where they live, etc. It's a great forum for sharing problems and getting possible solutions for some of these delicate issues. And if Oprah and Dr. Oz can discuss the proper shape poop should be coming out of your body then we can discuss personal hygiene.
I once posted about trouble getting a 7 year old daughter to use toilet paper and how stained her underpants were. That thread ran for several pages and I got very useful suggestions.
Back to the OP. Even if she is showering regularly and using deodorant, she might not be getting her clothes laundered as often as necessary.
I once had a college roommate who was talked about behind her back because of her BO problem. Friends asked me if she showered regularly and used deodorant and I said yes every morning. It was a mystery until I had to look in her closet for something and the minute I opened her closet door, I almost fell over gasping for breath. she was not washing her clothes after every wearing but she would iron them sometimes which only baked the odors in.
I was delegated to tell her how she was offensive and she was very embarrassed but I think we handled it well and she greatly improved. She just didn't want to take the time to wash every week and was taking some short cuts. Also her Mom always did her laundry and she really didn't know how to wash her own clothes. Sad isn't it.
I know I am kind of late getting in on this one but dont assume that this will get better. One of three daughters was like this at that age and it hard to know the right way to deal with it. She had a tentency to smell like......well.......dirty underwear!? Now mind you my girls were always very clean and my other two daughters were always very clean about themselves and still are. I would try to gracefully tell her to go get her bath in a nice way and it was a constant battle becuase at 12 I think a child is too old for a mom to go in a bathe her so you would have to trust that she did it when she said she did. It never got better. It did change some, she would wear deoderant but she didnt keep her body clean and didnt change her underwear for days at a time. It was awful.
She is now 21 and she regularly looks dirty. Her hair is so greasy and her clothes aren't washed regularly and are wrinkled and a mess. The other day she was at our house and she sat down on my ottoman and later that evening I kept getting a whiff of something and it ended up the smell was on the ottoman. Now...how do you deal with that??? My husband says to talk to her bluntly about it. But i have hinted around about it thinking she would be a little embarrassed and change but if anything she has gotten worse.
To make matters even worse she is heavy which means she sweats more and so on.... She now has a 12 month old daughter and she buys her all kinds of beautiful clothes and shoes but she doesnt bathe her like she should. She was diagnosed with depression and now i believe she is bipolar. She has always had very low self esteem even though she is and always has been quite pretty.....overweight though. She was also a gifted student. Anyhow i agree with the person who said to find out why she is behaving this way and i guess if i had it to do over again i would bathe her myself if i didnt think she was doing it for herself. Maybe after doing that once she would be willing to do it for herself.
Pfft if my daughter was 15 and smelled i would be right there in the bathroom doing the scrubbing. You live in my house, or want to visit my house then you better have some good hygiene
I guess sometimes you have to be a drill sargent to be a "good" mom. I made a list of "expectations" for normal living, and that included keeping your room clean, picking up after yourself, doing your homework, getting up and ready for school, taking a shower, washing clothes, being nice to everyone ...etc...as small children, I started with this list, and we reviewed the list every Sunday night, at the table to make sure everyone was on task for the "normal" expectations, and then extra stuff that needed to be done that week. As a family, this was done...and actually the kids were harder on each other than I would have ever been. So, all I can say, is start early, because it saves problems later on down the road...because I fortunately never had this problem with any of my four kids....
But don't make it a battle, because then, everyone will lose. I don't fight with kids, I tell them that there is a problem, I identify the problem, then let them make the choice. But of course, I can CHOOSE too...and I will flat out say, "Well, too bad you decided not to take a shower today, because I had planned to take you to the mall or swimming, or whatever is the favorite activity...and because you decided not to take a shower, I decided not to take you to the mall.." It is all about choices...and then, "suddenly" the person usually chooses a different action...
Maybe your daughter is depressed though, how are her grades? Maybe you should talk to her school counselor about this issue...
Last edited by jasper12; 01-28-2011 at 11:19 AM..
Reason: edit
My 12 year old son also has bad body odor at times. I have fought with him to wear deodorant on a daily basis. My husband even went out and purchased him a couple of those nice smelling "Axe" products. I don't know if my son is in denial or what. But if I don't insist he wear deodorant, he won't.
As far as clothes go, we live in S. Florida. So during the winter months, it does get cold here. He will refuse to wear a sweatshirt, hoody or jackett. So instead of going crazy over it, I let him freeze. Then he wears a jackett without me prodding him.
I agree with Hopes...probably trying to hide her body. I know I used to do that all the time. This is a hard thing to overcome. Perhaps she has gotten the "I'm fat" mentality from kids at school...I was also called fat just because I developed earlier than most girls. Might be worth a try to mention these things to her and see if any of them are possibilities.
I agree with Hopes...probably trying to hide her body. I know I used to do that all the time. This is a hard thing to overcome. Perhaps she has gotten the "I'm fat" mentality from kids at school...I was also called fat just because I developed earlier than most girls. Might be worth a try to mention these things to her and see if any of them are possibilities.
The OPs complaint isn't about her daughter's clothing, it's about her daughter's hygiene (or lack thereof). She thinks if her daughter is wearing hoodies in warm weather, it will cause her to sweat and stink.
To the OP if you're still here reading replies:
As her mother, YOU should have taught her proper hygiene, including cleaning her pits and "down there". How can you say such nasty things about your daughter when you obviously haven't taught her properly or followed through with her??????
I taught my daughter the importance of proper hygiene, keeping herself clean, using deodorant, and being extra-clean at certain times of the month. I also followed through with her to make sure she was showering daily, keeping herself clean, using deodorant, etc. She's 12 now and I don't have to harp after her to shower, wash hair, shave, use deodorant, or anything else.
It's up to YOU to do right by your daughter. If she's not "getting it", you need to sit her down, talk to her, SHOW HER HOW if she still doesn't "get it". Be graphic if you have to --- You don't want her being ridiculed in school about being smelly or stinking or anything like that. You're doing more harm than good by not talking to HER about it.
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