Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: Is a parent obligated-- do they HAVE to pay for son's college?
Yes -a parent is responsible for these costs as much as possible 29 17.68%
No- It would be nice if they helped but not mandatory 135 82.32%
Voters: 164. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-06-2010, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,379,095 times
Reputation: 41122

Advertisements

Of course they aren't.
If you can help and they are deserving (in self motivation, character, attitude) then it's nice to do it but there is no obligation IMO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-06-2010, 10:10 PM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,784,799 times
Reputation: 11123
Your fund your retirement first, then you can figure out what you can afford for his college.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2010, 10:16 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,898,052 times
Reputation: 2635
I would sit down with him and have a discussion about money. Get your bills out, right it downof all your incoming and outgoing money and discuss it man-to-man. Be neutral about it. Tell him that you both need to figure out how to make his college dreams a success. Ask him to bring the cost of school (tuition, an average book price, dorm costs), along with what scholarships he has applied for. Sometimes kids just need to be included in the decision making...or at least feel like they are. It would be a way to educate him on exactly what you can afford and how much it costs to run a household, while gently letting him realize that he will be in charge of his own finances very, very soon. And who knows, maybe he has an idea for saving money/reducing costs of schooling that you never thought of.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2010, 10:16 PM
 
6,066 posts, read 15,009,981 times
Reputation: 7188
I don't mean to sound rude, but your son sounds a little spoiled. He needs a good talking to and reality check, as others have also posted. Perhaps sit him and and just lay it out for him. Show him the bank statements, the bills, what's coming in and what's going out, everything. Answer his questions patiently. The sooner he learns about money and responsibility the better off you'll both be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2010, 10:29 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,764,882 times
Reputation: 30711
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
Your fund your retirement first, then you can figure out what you can afford for his college.
Exactly. With student loans reforms, saving for college isn't the top priority and experts are urging people to focus on retirement.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2010, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Pirkanmaa, Finland
121 posts, read 338,729 times
Reputation: 112
Another no vote here. Kids aren't entitled to parent-funded education.

Likewise parents aren't entitled to kid-funded old age care.

A fair deal, IMO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-07-2010, 12:33 AM
 
223 posts, read 168,627 times
Reputation: 85
I'm going to stay out of this but have a few questions:

Didn't you have a hand in how he was raised and what you expected of him?
How he turned out is partly due to your childrearing.
Don't you want the best for your son as far as being a responsible, productive member of society?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-07-2010, 04:33 AM
 
1,219 posts, read 4,210,747 times
Reputation: 591
I think you need to lay it out for your son, tell him exactly how much you can/are willing to contribute, and explain that he has to handle the rest (through grants, loans, schlorships, ect). Be very honest. Explain that you can't just pay for it all out of pocket.

My ds is a senior and he knows exactly what we can pay and we are working with him to come up with the rest. It really is a family process. For us, paying for it all is simply not doable (I'd love to, but it's not possible), but we've been very honest and open about it and he knows where he stands.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-07-2010, 05:58 AM
 
Location: NJ
17,574 posts, read 46,033,396 times
Reputation: 16271
Timely article.

bank-of-mom-and-dad-shuts-amid-white-collar-struggle: Personal Finance News from Yahoo! Finance

Bank of Mom and Dad Shuts Amid White-Collar Struggle
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-07-2010, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Michigan
859 posts, read 2,143,672 times
Reputation: 462
I am surprised for sure on how many People think like me. We have 3 teenagers( 18,15,13) we never had any EXTRA money with my first Husband and could not put away for any College's. Now with my Second Husband well its kinda late to start but we told ALL 3 of our Kids, we will NOT pay for them to go to College. WE will help with reg Bills, Books, gas, food ....whatever else they might need help with. All the Kids are OK with this. Other Parents have NO problem telling me that I am to co sign Loans and all that ! Its my Job to pay for it and co sign Loans.

Sorry, he is 18 he NEEDS to stand up on HIS own 2 Feet, we are here to GUIDE him & help him. He also has a Job offer making pretty good Money and plans on going to College Online....this way he can save a lot of Money and within a few Years he can have enough Money saved up to go to a Full Time College finish up there AND have the Money to pay up front.

I think times have changed a LOT and the Kids got spoiled in the last 10 years...time to HELP them but not do it for them. Our Parents never paid for our College, training, schooling.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:24 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top